This is a very small start. But I'll restart my streaming accounts when (and only when) the c suite makes a public apology, and each of them donates to the ACLU the exact amount the maga goons demanded Kimmel give to TP Until then, they're still dead to me

It's easy to cancel your Disney+ subscription in protest when you remember that you can just pirate everything

I keep seeing headlines talking about "Kimmel made pointed comments about Kirk" but what he really said was basically just "Trump doesn't seem that sad about it and also the shooter was right-wing"

How many Aunt Gladyses are we gonna see this Halloween? I'm betting in the hundreds

Heard from a friend at Disney+ that there are multiple levels of freakout internally, both from internal dissatisfaction, concerns about subscription cancelations, and of course the big one: concern about a boycott spilling over into parks and cruises.

A timeline in which I have to rally behind Jimmy Kimmel. Dark times, indeed.

Crowd work isn't comedy, I'm sorry

So I just got some very exciting news but it's also not 100% definite yet and I'm afraid to post about it because I might jinx it, but I'm too excited not to post that I'm excited

Texting the friend who's staying with me (and who just left for a hookup) so he doesn't see me naked watching Heathers and eating cookies, while trying to communicate I'm not being jealous or controlling, but also while trying not to tell him I'm naked watching Heathers and eating cookies:

I think this week has proven that a lot of people didn't actually know who Charlie Kirk was or what he actually said

Pushing Daisies

Bring back did mascots that did murder *themselves*

These days I use the word "baby" exclusively when I'm worried that someone might actually be a literal baby, as "baby no. No, baby, no. Baby... Why would you click on that banner ad about why no one will hire Dame Maggie Smith anymore?"

It's exactly the same but the ghost who follows you home is non-stop jacking it in the car

Waiting for guys who, yesterday, were calling for a civil war, to start saying it's too soon to start talking about the shooter's politics now that he's a groyper

I think some of you are recycling your shirtless bathroom mirror selfies from last week but I can't actually tell

Okay, so here's the conspiracy theory I immediately had and that is now cementing in my mind, this was *intended* to be a near miss (like trump's) and it turns out it's just a lot harder to aim at a moving ear in a crowd than it looks

Thank God the *other* discourse can at least now be peppered with information about the Super Mario Galaxy movie the world's been clamouring for

A very hot guy just said hi to me on Grindr but when I checked his profile it just said "I like guys with big noses" so

At 2:17 in the morning, every other kid woke up, got out of bed, dragged a comb across their head, found the way downstairs and drank a cup

I know this makes me seem like the most anglophile hipster in the world but I think there's never been a better person than Terry Pratchett

There's a rich kid in an RPG I'm playing who keeps calling me "peasant" and yet no matter what button I press I can't slit his f-ing throar

Just thinking about when I was on my company's LGBTQ ERG board and the head of it kept saying "we need to do self identify" and we all kept saying "what do you mean by that?" and he would say "Do. Self. Identify."

For more than a decade, Andrew Cuomo pretended he had nothing to do with deteriorating subways and endless delays — even as he siphoned off funding from the MTA he controlled.

I probably notice this a lot more than other people since I have to collect movie clips for trivia every week, but older movies are rapidly disappearing from streaming services lately, and I truly think that pretty soon we're gonna have a lot of movies that no one can ever watch anymore

Just overheard a guy in a restaurant complain to the waitress that "some weird brown powder on it" was on his potatoes and she had to very patiently explain the concept of spices to him

Welp, I guess you'll all just have to imagine my pole, or, I guess, go way back in my media tab

Why does this man look like a bobble head?

The Bone Temple is right

Hold on a second, is this guy just hooking up with me whenever he needs to use the subway that's close to my place...

Anyone who loves their job is very suspect to me

For a brand that won't stop reminding you it has 8 vegetables in it, V8 is surprisingly cagey about what those vegetables are

I think there's a non-zero chance that he comes back in a couple of days with very obvious facial fillers like "what are you guys talking about, my lips have always looked like this"

Giuliani's PR team read Save the Cat, apparently

There's too much talking to the contestants in most game shows. I don't need to hear about how "my brother-in-law is a chef so I'd never hear the end of it if I got this question about a McDonald's slogan wrong." Just say "I'm lovin' it" and let's move on

What's the science behind why baguette bags are always just a little shorter than the baguettes themselves

If he dies I'll post pole

Fascinating how news agencies are suddenly able to say something is false in headlines instead of burying the debunk in the seventh paragraph of an article no one reads

I dunno, that could be any old fat guy going golfing

I will be a little sad if he dies before he has a chance to go to prison, but I'll take what I can get

You think Cordelia ever had sex with that ghost she lived with on Angel?

These kids that are just overburdened with mitochondrial challenges

Please don't spam my replies with a bunch of screenshots from Google AI or I will be forced to block you

You are still allowed to out people who support anti-gay policies while secretly being gay themselves. Especially if "outing" them just means saying "yeah but look how gay this dude is"

If James Dobson's own teachings are correct, he is justly in hell right now

RT if you also wish ill upon JK Rowling.

GrubHub/doordash/etc is possibly the best example of how capitalism ruins everything. They took food delivery, which was cheap but sometimes annoying, and made it cheap and easy. Great. But then they put money into it, and now it costs more and it's also worse

If you have a car in Manhattan I just assume your family did financial crimes at some point

In other words: They lied.