it's me, unnamed critter from bosch's triptych of the temptation of anthony!

still can't think about SOPHIE too much. it still hurts

the central thesis behind The Body Keeps the Score is that trauma is stored in the balls

I had a nightmare there was a tiny exclave of Florida in between Illinois and Wisconsin that was a relic of when Florida covered most of the eastern US, like Virginia used to. It consisted of four houses, nine golf courses, and a podiatrist’s office

love too live in chicago

oh god damnit, the cool ramen place by my new apartment is vegan

honestly, the fucking gall to charge me $10/month for me to give YOU my food scraps for composting

Straight man STUNS social media marketing team by speaking fluent Polari (Must Watch!!!)

Sir it seems that our strategy of replacing all of the professional government employees and experts with internet trolls and sex offenders is not going as well as expected

Hard at work? Or erect at the job site?

I stand by this btw @jerilryan.bsky.social

i put the homo in homonculus

No I’m not saying you CAN’T play online pvp games. All I’m saying is that every time a match is generated, there’s a chance it’s pitting a woman against another woman. Is that a risk you really want to take?

listening to women

This is where your Harry Potter money goes

i don't really know what S&P 500 futures "is" per se but i trust you all when you say the line shouldn't be doing that

inside of you there are two wolves and they are just constantly, constantly fucking and sucking each other

Some Nights Da Pussy Just Hit You Like A Brick…

Oh I didn’t know your boyfriend was moving in with you

my most boomer-coded opinion is that clothing stores should be required to post signs out front that state “we sell/don’t sell men’s clothing” like the surgeon general’s warning on cigarettes

So we’ve got two competing schools of what the Democratic Party should do next. One of them is hosting the largest political rallies in history in places like New Hampshire and Arizona, and the other one just got $120 million from Silicon Valley and is on a book tour.

The first problem with reading braille using your clitoral glans is one of distraction by becoming immediately very turned on.

Close—you’re thinking of Isaac Asimov’s rules for dating his teenage daughter. Common mistake

🎵 she’ll be cumming like a fountain when she cuuums

Developing my theory that “ugly hot” is a state of being distinct from “hot for an ugly person.” Andrew Scott is ugly hot. Brian Jordan Alvarez is hot for an ugly person. Rob Gronkowski synthesizes the dialectic by being both

For all you Trekkies out there.

bird app unfortunately still got the juice

My hot take is that audible should have a filter to hide mlm romance books that were clearly written by a booktok woman for her spank bank

When I said I would do anything for my family and my country I only meant stuff I already like doing, like shooting guns for instance. If I have to do something annoying like conserve resources then obviously I'm not willing to do that

the every thing app

Y’all aren’t listening. I NEED $4,000 for a Lamb LT150 circular sock knitting machine

What’s up everyone. It’s me, the guy who yelled “the Jews did not take up arms against the Germans” at Norm Finkelstein for some reason

Voyager, but every character except Seven is a muppet

nationwide manhunt for the bitch who turned him in

quick q—why the fuck can’t I search my texts on my iPhone anymore

follow me for more gender hacks

Bad news y’all

I’m always saying this

send nudes, coward

We all have that one coworker who has never in his life read a single email he’s ever been sent ever

America isn’t even a country, it’s just 50 states in a trench coat

thinking about the twink from the Instagram deodorant ads, don’t txt

jingling keys dot gif