Nobody says "Close but no cigar" anymore. At least not to me.

"Waterproof gold ring" the advertisement says.

Libra season begins today. If you thought I was annoying before, just you wait! Mwahahaha.

Pause your doomscrolling and listen to this story.

Ten minutes that will cheer you up.

Lecture with David Farrier about to begin, about his new book: www.youtube.com/live/aL_SD9W...

A great creator's essay from the great Michael Chabon on one of the best books I've ever read (and one of the most fun books to work on I've yet worked on).

it me 👇🏻

On my third go-round of September song disco inferno, and the skies are blue and I'm not in pain and, well, MOOD. (Didn't know this version existed.) youtu.be/MrHxhQPOO2c...

I can hear a bagpipe. This is not good.

Admit I am older and American, but still amazed by the absence of I Love Lucy from any top sitcom lists I have seen (also admit I am not studying them closely).

Insta reel outtakes of celebrities accidentally swearing in front of Muppets is my new jam.

I'm in the process of downloading analytics and cancelling my membership. For anyone interested in alternatives, I recommend Zenodo.org which is owned by the European Commission. hcommons.org is good but it's US based, and may not remain safe from the extraordinary overreach of the current US govt

Art often surprises. Whilst visiting palazzo pitti #Florence we stumbled upon this painting of #Leith by an Italian artist in late C19th. Yeah, its not changed much. #art #travel #Edinburgh

Smudge as unimpressed by my dancing as my singing. Doesn’t stop me. Today’s the day!!

Liverpool MP Bessie Braddock dances with George Harrison at the Carl Alan Awards, March 24, 1964.

Excited for tomorrow’s kitchen disco! #21stSeptember #EarthWindAndFire

That silly little picture you generated is cranking up energy costs, hurting artists, and adding absolutely nothing to the world.

Smudge now recognises my first wonky notes of "Come Out, Come Out" to indicate that Henry's back in the hall closet. By the time I murder, "And Kansas, she says, is the name of the star" she's out from her hiding spot. (Anything to make me stop singing, to be sure.)

If, for some mad reason you're not in Wigtown next weekend, this is happening in Edinburgh and should be fantastic: www.edwomensficfest.co.uk

Can't help noticing that no one's mentioning Indecent Proposal. . . #Redford

@msashleydavies.bsky.social My ex once berated me for not carrying matches. I don’t smoke, I reminded him. But I do, he said. In that case, I countered, why don’t you carry tampons?

Rosemary Harris is 98 Alfred Molina: ‘During Spider-Man 2, Rosemary & I were suspended in harnesses 40ft above the soundstage floor & we were left hanging there for ages & ran out of small talk. At one point, Rosemary said quietly ‘I’m classically trained, you know.’

Spex for reading, spex for laptop, spex for fun. Spex in every room.

People have idiosyncratic ambitions. As a kid, I hoped to achieve enough to a) go on Johnny Carson, and b) “become a legend most” in a Blackglama ad. What was I like! Little Lee cracks me up (when she’s not breaking my heart apart).

I’ve been invited to my own event. I’m tempted to respond to the organisers to tell them on a number of occasions the author has touched me inappropriately.

There Is No Meant to Be" is available for preorder! My publisher promised that if I have 250 preorders that I get a case of prosecco left over from last year's Christmas party. 500 preorders before March & they'll go halfsies on a vintage George Foreman! uk.bookshop.org/p/books/ther...

Friday! Lunchtime! Wash the taste of That State Visit out of your mouth with some lovely fresh links! Web Curios! SO MUCH INTERNET WITH WHICH TO ATTEMPT TO FILL THE VOID! Share, enjoy, click, numb: webcurios.co.uk/webcurios-19...

Have also discovered that girl who hates me petting her body (raking is different) adores having her face massaged. That’s our new thing.

Ffs CHEST.

After each of her micro-feeds Smudge comes to thank me. Currently lying on my cheat as I am exhausted and horizontal.

Opportunity here for a writer on a low income to get access to a nine week novel writing course taught by the great @silvanhistorian.bsky.social www.curtisbrowncreative.co.uk/course/break...

Bar the novel read as pdf, voila, my Wigtown book festival chairing roster. Yes I have read all but the one I am merely introducing (save that for a winter’s day). Brain whizzing with thoughts. It all kicks off this time next week.

Just in time for Halloween

Looking forward to sharing stories from #Heiresses in #Gloucester today. Also available to livestream. www.gloucesterhistoryfestival.co.uk/events/heire...

A bit of a ghost sign emerging in Howe Street this morning. #ghostsign #NewTown #Edinburgh

Any early C20 lit enthusiasts happen to know which of Stella Gibbons' short stories published in the Christmas at Cold Comfort Farm collection was originally published in Good Housekeeping magazine? I've lost a reference! 🙏

@louiestowell.bsky.social harkening back to kid friendly insults, I am reminded that I often say Momo. Not sure where it came from but dates back 30+ years. Even if I do something daft I might say, “Oh you’re such a momo.” Xx

Just a note to all the Americans, no matter what you're seeing over there, we don't like your President. We don't want him here. He has been 100% kept away from the public here in UK & that's why it all looks rosy. They know allowing him to be face to face with British public would be messy. 1/3

A cat can look at appliances. (And dream of opposable thumbs.)

Earlier today.

Oof, pals, the book is in the wild in the US soon, but it seems they may like it.

Working on my last set of question notes for Wigtown for when I get to sit down with wonderful David Farrier to talk Nature's Genius. Have done an internet sweep but went back in just in case. This time I got an endless array of hoof trimmers. The internet is too literal.

Quote post a female character you love. Too many, but a proper fight to the finish between these gals:

@support.bsky.team Hi, I can reply to DMs here but can't get any joy from hitting SEND to generate one, even if it's someone I've previously DM'd. Any suggestions how to fix that? Thanks! (I've been age confirmed.)

Re last post, and yes it also means that the antibiotics have quelled swelling and insane pain, but once I stop, will it all go tits ahoy again? Should know by the weekend.

This time next week I'll be drugging the cat and assembling my necessities (besides her) for the trip to Wigtown, my home from home. (Yes, that makes the bold claim that Edinburgh and not where I'm from in the US is now my home. It's true.)