*raising hand* so the office where you order your flunkies to commit mass murder, does it just have a desk fan or what?

It is wild how rightwingers increasingly demand a right to be treated as attaining the goals of education while blatantly flouting them.

Thankful for the haters on this day, especially the correct ones

No. The Thing is a movie about a bunch of people who all distrust and hate each other trapped in one building as the tension between them slowly builds until it reaches a breaking point. It's a Thanksgiving movie.

Into pieces, my life I cut. My last resort, this is.

What if we kissed, at the

Never realized before how bad that kid is fucking up the rows.

oh my god this thread is unbelievable. Musk made a Waylon Smithers chatbot but without all the dignity

Every June a guy I grew up with starts whineposting about "how come there's a Pride Month but no Our Troops Month?" and every June I remind him that National Military Appreciation Month happened in May and he forgot to observe it again.

"this is what the left is doing, but the left doesn't know about it because it doesn't penetrate the left-wing bubble" just let that impeccable logic bounce around your brain for awhile

🎶quiet, pig Yeah, you Quiet pig piggy pig pig pig All of my fears came true black and blue and full of pain You asked me bout my pedo plane My little piggy needed one more scoop Bubba can’t top me now, cause I don’t care anymore🎶

every epstein email is some creep complaining about MeToo and then being like “oh before i forget, any advice on how to use my position of authority to force women into sleeping with me?”

One of Trump’s more accidental successes was that by vilifying individual journalists he made them part of the story instead of just the byline, and a lot of them lapped that shit up.

The Pope hating the Cubs because he’s a Sox fan is one of the funniest ongoing stories in the hellscape

Trump Denies Writing 36-Volume Comic Titled ‘Don And Jeff: Time Pedophiles https://theonion.com/trump-denies-writing-36-volume-comic-titled-don-and-jeff-time-pedophiles/

QANON CULTIST IN 2017: "In this 1,879 page thread I will unravel the byzantine system of codewords and phrases the global elite use to mask their pedophile cabal." JEFFREY EPSTEIN WRITING AN EMAIL AT THE SAME TIME: "helo its me jeff had fun cmmitting sex crimes wit u lst weeknd"

Beyond the obvious implication here, I'm wondering if the subtext is they were coming to believe Trump was snitching and that's why despite being involved no one was mentioning him.

50 year old Glen Powell flinching as he hears a cry in Spanish in the distance. Glen Powell breaking down weeping in therapist Julianne Moore's arms. Glen Powell's young neighbor discovers his old uniform and demands to hear more and more stories until you realize it's a fucking Apt Pupil reboot.

*record scratch* yup, that's me. You're probably wondering how I wound up not watching this guy die.

Someone saw Ross’ vintage “I want a secretary that types fast and runs slow” mug

Wonder why this scene looks so familiar... #WildlifeWednesday 🐦🐕

when the onions and mustard smell hits

Be fair, he only hosted Fuentes because he was there as a guest of his good friend, the rabid anti-semite and Hitler fan Kanye West

This is the bluffiest bluff that ever bluffed but Democrats should scream to high heaven about it anyway.

Being bad at fighting is like pronouncing words wrong because you’ve only seen them written. Not gonna elaborate on this.

“Cause the Kaiser Had Stolen Our Word Twenty”

Andrew Windsor, the commoner nonce?

This doesn’t move the odds much on “will try to rig 2028 election” but adds massive uncertainty to “against who”, with the Republican candidate now a strong possibility.

Doing the classic “start out trying to make a point but get too mad to remember the premise” but for White House renovations

That defense on Ant was criminal! *monkey’s paw curls*

I fucked the pope's daughter (long story)

Wow according to the paper of record the hot new trend is <squints> making fetch happen, the top marketing exec at Ftch swears it.

Trump people have so many different strains of racism that I'm routinely learning new slurs from them.

Don't really know how I feel about everything is memes politics but I suspect I'll like it better than what comes after.

Sending American health back to the Victorian Era was all worth it when I got to stand up and tell the world I bust bigger ropes than my granddaughter’s shithead boyfriend.

this is the most like a mike tyson's punch out guy i have ever seen anyone look

pretends_to_be_shocked dot jpeg

Look he loved Al Green, ok?

folks we're gonna be turning that big dial that says "Racism" on it and we're gonna be looking at the audience for approval and it's gonna be BIG BIG SMILES all around

It’s so wild to pick “attacked by 10 cars!!” as your lie because it’s basically physically impossible and sounds exactly like something a little kid who got caught would make up

RIP Portland, 1851-2017, 2020, 2022, 2024, and 2025

Taking out dozens of spiderwebs on a morning trail walk is such a melange of feelings. Eww gross! Cool, I’m the first one out again today! Oh but the poor spiders! Eh, they’ll be back.

WEAPONS 2: WOKEONS (2027)

Breaking new ground in the “I’m not mad, I’m actually laughing” genre by replacing “laughing” with “horny”