is it insensitive to say i’d rather die than go to the funeral i have to go to today…

first day as a landlord and the fact that i gotta find ten ants each to live in these units is crazy

@emceekayvee.bsky.social said “im not using the water droplets emoji with a non-bf” & if there’s any words to live by it’s those y’all.

okay but when is wester sunday?

this joke was a collaborative effort btw

killing him instead of dumping him so i can move on and he can’t❤️

blowjob in the wind by bob dycklan

Cat fight ❤️😬🥰😻

i just KNOW the lindt chocolate guy rolls some fat joints

when i die, i want to be buried with my weed pen like an ancient egyptian pharaoh who needs it to get to the afterlife

took a blinker at midnight, not even willing to give 2026 a chance

just so everyone knows i wear that striped top on a regular basis

who called it a good orgasm and not a positive outcome

who called it fisting and not beating around the bush?

MUSHY POST ALERT @charlieaaah.bsky.social is home from college. We’re cuddling & watching Smiling Friends, thanks to my love @cipherlab.bsky.social. I get to share my days w/ my best friend @bbkittyfck.bsky.social. Life is hard but can be so good even when you thought it wasn’t ever again possible.

if i started working for the NAACP they’d have to change it to the NDDCP

she’s coming up here this week to have dinner with me so she’ll be okay

hashtag stoned at family thanksgiving. you’re either with me or against me.

ok but when is Hategiving

thanksgiving is cancelled bc i said so. merry christmas everyone

my cat spilled my starbucks drink this morning so we’re no longer on speaking terms.

i’ll start posting more leftist stuff since you guys liked it so much. anyone interested to hear about my 8 page final paper on capitalism & patriarchy?

there are two wolves inside of me: one wants to post silly things and the other wants to talk about the government they’re both socialists

Found an old Tampax and inserted it, just to feel something

dick cheney is dead but the bush is still alive (in my pants)

let me be blunt with you. we’ve always been joint at the hip even when we were bong distance. i love you with all my cart

🎶Don’t let your son go down on me🎶

finished a big bio exam today and so i have rewarded myself with ordering $330 worth of stuff from ulta and sephora

“i’m so stressed about money,” i cry to myself as i click the place order button

my affirmations: i am beautiful. i am smart. i am strong. the recycling in the corner is not overflowing. i’m sure it will be fine if i don’t charge my laptop. the cockroaches will stay on the 11th floor far away from me. it rained today so i don’t need to wash my hair for another week.

@charlieaaah.bsky.social is the funniest, smartest daughter a mom could ask for, and she has my heart forever. She’s my best friend and I miss her so much while she’s living her best life away at college.

btw guys it’s still there. carpe diem

found a still-wrapped zyn on the ground this morning. it’s gonna be a good day i can feel it

before college i was worried about spending more time shopping online than studying, so i always make sure to shop while in class so i spend the same amount of time on both 😊 follow for more study tips

if my cat licked makeup off my face is that testing on animals?

my favorites so you guys have a place to start: alice in chains red hot chili peppers the beatles stone temple pilots elton john bob dylan pearl jam the eagles the band led zeppelin

there are so many hot guys at this spirit halloween (has anyone done this one yet?)

So my doctor gets to know alllll about MY medical issues, but I don't get to know about theirs? Kinda feel like that's a bit HIPAAcritical.

The emotional support black and white filter stays on during sex

i just started college & i am looking for new music to listen to- am not the biggest fan of modern music😭 please tell me what y’all listened to when you were in college?

My daughter just liked this post so it was nice knowing you all I’m deactivating now

A beautiful woman keeps calling and saying, “This is an attempt to collect a debt.” I hear you. A debt of love

ah well hey at least groceries are more expensive

My daughter sent me this and I'm dying

this guy just snapped me a video of him singing the ants go marching one by one

my favorite part of buying a new pack of pens is getting to circumcise each one before using them 🤍

FB MOMBRAG POST: this brilliant, hilarious beauty has moved into her college dorm. I’ve never missed anyone so much, but also never been so proud. Pre-med with a double major in neuroscience and biochemistry. I feel like I need a maternity test to prove she’s mine. (Photo posted with her permish)

but bro have you even tried listening to audioslave about it?

Jimmy cracked corn and I do care (empath)

girls be posting their bfs to sade’s no ordinary love and it be the most ordinary mf you’ve ever seen