ugh smoltz and the other guy keep talking about baseball

what if Dracula has insomnia and is posting through it? it happens to the best of us!!!!

If you’re complaining about Dracula driving your bus you should go buy a car

Scuba Cop is obviously the guy trying and failing to catch Surf Dracula

gimme gimme gimme the ball

My fave part changes every time I see it. Right now it’s the unadulterated use of “Glenallen”

“oh so you think the east wing being demolished is worse than-“ it’s a synecdoche, man. a visual metaphor. there’s a reason the aliens in Independence Day don’t aim a huge laser at SNAP benefits

NBA Just The Tip-Off

This is the cover of my self-titled Frasier-themed rap album, 2 Crainz

Just did a workout that I haven’t done since March 2024, when it put me into a 2-month energy crash. Might fuck around and feel some more emotions later but for now I’m gonna try to only feel the good ones about it

I gave the snowman boobs and a butt, but it came out looking like a Jabba

Jiminy Glick interview with Cuomo please

It's a much smaller concern yes but I also don't need to see the nips of a political candidate this much

I think @spiceweasel.bsky.social should get knuckle tats that say JOHN KRUK

Soup served in a bread bowl is a sandwich

Gavin Newsom has bulldozed the big tent and thrown away everyone’s insulin

I have a large skeleton hanging on my front door for Fall and it’s gotten to the point where I high-five him every time I walk in or else I feel impending doom. This morning my hands were pretty full as I approached him but don’t worry, I kissed him very gently on the mouth just as someone walked by

today’s topic got me thinkin bout that Long Ziti

The only thing that should go down in my bedroom is…not the bed

Vibe shift since yesterday is real: it’s officially fall, motherfuckers

Rob Louvre is a guy wearing a beret w the NFL logo

Mr. Mamdani when will you wear wigs

the real diarrhea plane is the new york jets amirite

I’m happy for Andres Gimenez

Blue Jays organist REALLY needs to expand their repertoire

🅱️lease be another 15 inning game

Lovely reminder that Ronald Reagan is a demon who is thankfully back in hell right now

holy shit dawg this Canadian commercial of Ronald Reagan talking about how tariffs suck????

Why are iPhone commercials always so annoying!!!!

God I love Josh Naylor

The only reason that a toilet should ever be connected to the internet would be if there could be a high score list for the group chat

sunset at 6:06 pm. fuck u

The White House is part of the National Park Service & protected by Section 106 of the Historic Preservation Act of 1966. Don't get me wrong: I do not care about the building. I care that this act states he is above the law & the people. It has the same message as his AI fighter jet shitpost.

you don't understand. as someone who isn't inherently good at art, stealing paintings from the museum is the *only* way i'm able to express myself creatively. i wouldn't be able to paint beautiful portraits. but by breaking into a museum and stealing the paintings, now i am

Remember to dust your baseboard heaters before you turn the heat on for the first time

dreamed I was *screaming* at a guy for making my ice cream wrong in a building that was burning down. In my defense, he was completely ignoring me! He gave me a bowl of crushed Oreos topped w blueberry ice cream instead of soft serve chocolate topped w blueberries

I am gonna be so ready first thing tomorrow morning

these guys did it

Love this commercial where they’re like, “this guy got a $100,000 loan so he couldn’t afford to redo his whole house. This guy got a $400,000 loan so he WAS able to redo his whole house!” Ah yes. Highly relatable

Show us the father of Vladimir Guerrero Jr. The people want to see Dad Guerrero’s reaction

Winds of Winter (I know everyone says GRRM has no pages BUT he had a blog post ages ago that was a chapter. It was way way way too detailed to go in a book)

I am tired!

I love the way the sun shines through cats’ ears

Air Force Number Two

I find it interesting that everybody assumes every woman over the age of about 30 they see a picture of on a protest is a liberal winemom or whatever.

,,,,,,,,, he did what now

I’m watching Dirty Dancing