the dark time

Where’s Waldo? (Heat edition)

I was writing jokes for Amber Ruffin when she was supposed to host the White House Correspondent's Dinner last year, but then she got fired for saying bad things about Donald Trump. I think tonight, I shall post a few of them here.

This sounds bonkers and then you realize it’s merely a boringly factual statement of what actually happened. He needs to marched in chains & an orange jumpsuit to jail for the rest of his life.

It's not hyperbole in the least to say Musk purchased a six-month shadow presidency for $280 million and used the power of that shadow presidency to 1. Steal the government’s data, 2. Permanently damage the state’s ability to regulate his businesses, and 3, kill non-white people.

The correct way to do Constitutional change is to hold a SCOTUS seat open for an entire year, elect a POTUS with less than plurality of the electorate, and then have him fill three SCOTUS seats, including one a month before the election when the polls had Trump losing badly.

The level of delusional optimism required to hold this view of your fellow citizens, over a year into Donald Trump's *second* term, is really unfathomable. No, they DO in fact need to be spoon fed facts, because they aren't exposed to them automatically and aren't inquisitive enough to pursue them.

Grown man writes name with Sharpie, receives applause from sycophants

the idea that taxing billionaires will give us a bright new socialist future is nonsense, the reason to have a tax code that treats them with maximal hostility is because their wealth is a threat to democracy and stability

He got transported to Waffle House

Mel Gibson pictured with his doctor in 2004

is this anything

The funny flaw with leftist accelerationism is that once the dust of Trump settles and both parties – and the country – are in shambles, no one is going to line up behind a group who didn't go all in on stopping Trump, and was proud of the fact at the time.

Buying the end of Roe v Wade with the death of an entire civilization. Make it make sense, pro-lifers.

The traditional protocol is you put them in a box and only let them out after subjecting them to Richard Nixon to scare the ghosts away.

"We're all fine here, now.... how are you?"

The funniest tweet is probably the Nathan Fielder "having the time of my life with all my friends, just out of frame" one.

gorsuch: ok, DOJ, let's hear your arguments DOJ: to paraphrase esteemed legal scholar zapp brannigan, roman law is like roman love: hard and fast gorsuch: what

Stop scrolling and post two characters who bring you happiness.

No, you don't have to treat deceitful, bad faith efforts as though they were actually honest, good faith observations.

If the Christian nationalists weren't always huffing the fumes of their perceived righteousness, they might recognize the massive self-own in publicly rechristening Trump's America as "one nation under God" at the same time the country becomes known as a land of bigots ruled by a cruel tyrant.

My friends? Everywhere.

The Reagan legacy with the longest tail is spreading the idea that the government can't/won't/doesn't do anything; the result is that the electorate tuned out government functions entirely.

the same number of troops have died in this war that died in the evacuation of afghanistan fyi, weird how the media has decided that isn’t a point to drive home this time

Mueller in both his report and testimony thought that he was laying out a damning case against Trump — far worse than the same conduct that had gotten Nixon forced out of office — and then the media covered it as "TRUMP TOTALLY EXONERATED: NOTHING THERE"

That was a particularly become the joker moment. Report literally and specifically said "Does not exonerate" Trump crows "Totally exonerated!" and that just became the story. Real canary in coal mine kinda moment

So is "19 Kids and Counting" describing the Duggars' victims, or...?

happy Mario day to all who celebrate 🍄 Mariokart poster art by me*

Thread.

All this was a choice. I can’t get over how all of this was a choice. A plurality of American voters saw corruption, bigotry, pandemic, economic crisis, coup attempt, and criminal conviction, then opted for more.

Have we not simply tried

Basically what happened in the Iran deal was, we paid cash to buy a car that some people thought was a clunker. Then AFTER we handed the dealer the cash, Trump yelled "This is a terrible deal! The deal is off!" and stormed off without the car.

Post DOGE I think of redistributive taxation far less in terms of redistribution itself than in terms of taking away social-political nuclear launch codes from people who can’t be trusted with them.

Anthropic CEO always looks like Matthew Rhys doing a viral ad campaign for a The Americans spinoff.

A new Middle East refugee crisis and unrest is just investing in international hard-right parties and future GOP campaigns.

Don't threaten me with the best fucking time I've ever had in my life

Some things make you wonder if the Secret Service swears an oath to uphold the Constitution or not.

Kash Patel says he now has a lead that Savannah Guthrie's mom is being held at either the NCAA Final Four or the Masters golf tournament, plans to personally investigate.

Some thoughts on AI and math, inspired by “First Proof”: www.daniellitt.com/blog/2026/2/...

Big Drummer energy.

Juxtapose this with the guy who wants everyone to give him their awards.

You all started it and we fucking finished it.

Frankly it's unbelievable that there hasn't been a Joe Wilson-esque "You LIE!!" moment during a Trump speech at the National Prayer Breakfast.

You don't have to love Stancil, but a reasonable person can appreciate his penchant for drawing out a horde of need-to-mute accounts.