hey thanks i got your note do you need the brick back

heeeeey everybody! 👋 been away on my hols, now im back, lauren has magicked up a cocktail she's called 'The Violet' which is gin, liqueur de violette, hibiscus sugar syrup & other hings 💁‍♂️ delightful! what yous having? slàinte!

I make love like i wipe my butt

"Hold me back, lads, hold me back ..."

Can't we give them some privacy 😳

Wtf, etsy? 😂

Happy Friday lads, cherry & berry daiquiri on the go before I get stuck into some cans and a Chinese to celebrate the start of the school hols ☺️👌 What yous having? Slàinte!

Every day is leg day if you have big fat clanging balls

In the market for a hat and these are the 3 choices Google serves up for me I feel like each will take my life down a very different path

The nights are really drawing in, eh?

Really want little mushroom booties now

Excuse me?

Gonna go down the rezzy for a morning swim if anyone wants whipped with a towel or ducked under the water

In order to achieve that I will have to drive even closer defeating the purpose of your sticker but pls roll down your window

Sgroppino in the sunshine 🌞 🥂 What yous having? Slàinte!

Me going into the barbers for my summer holiday haircut showing him this

Carbon? Weak soap for weak faced men Bull Dog? Might as well be a teacup pomeranian Mancave? alright now we're getting somewhere i bet it smells like shit ROCK FACE? YES just exfoliate with a literal slab of GRANITE LIKE A MAN... YES!

wish me happy fathers day cos I'M YER DA NOW 💪😎

It's Friday, baby! Kicking off the evening with a Ginger Sour which is going down super easy, Chinese tonight with some home made char siu pork and im gonna get on the cans a wee bit! What yous having? Slàinte!

I'm not laughing *at* you, I'm laughing *with* you

"It's so painful what we see in Gaza. It hurts me all over my body. And let me be clear, it's not about ideology. It's not about I'm right or I'm wrong. Come on. It's just about the love of life, the care of your neighbour" - Pep Guardiola

What if she just wanted to let off some steam and was thinking of someone else the whole time what then Simon

No I'm not eating junk food I'm Sequestering Carbon ie saving the planet 😎👌

Heyyyyy all you lovely folks how you doing? Getting on the cans, first of all a delicious Picante to start the evening with some zing! What yous having? Slàinte!

JD Vance somewhere stressfucking his couch

Smacking my word-penis against another man’s word-penis for the straight masculinity of it all

I bought Twitter for $44,000,000,000 and sold it back to myself for $33,000,000,000. I have 43 kids and no friends. Everything I make explodes

YouTube algorithm got me nailed

Here’s a prophesy from 1982 👇

Perfect fathers day gift ad serve no notes

remember you can separate the Art from the Artist [Me & my bad posts]

Can confirm #VisitScotland

I’m honestly quite surprised they were allowed to marry in the first place

Young me would've killed for one of these in the back garden which is fine cos I could bury the evidence 😎👌

Problem solved, I guess

When I die just put me in a giant nutribullet Enjoy my nutritious smoothie

Thinking about pride month and how everything around community and friendship and looking out for each other feels more & more critical, as the corporations and politicians repeatedly demonstrate that they are just a shop window for the fascists and the wealth hoarders who are fucking everyone

Congrats xoxo

Reggie Watts addresses Thom Yorke’s statement on Palestine and it’s good

@ronfleasley.bsky.social omg your profile pic! 😍

Kicking off the weekend with a Limoncello Reviver (basically... we're using up Limoncello 😄) What yous having? Slàinte!

Can't eat a fuckin monoblock tho can I mate? Stop trying to burgershame me into home improvements its not gonna work 😌

How's it going laddies an lassies an laxxies? Ur yees gid?!! Curry tonight, north Indian flavours, so we're calling this 75 variation with spiced syrup etc a Jaipur 75 💁‍♂️ delicious! What yous having? Slàinte mhath!

Hello strangers! I've been a busy wee boy but Lauren just stopped my working week by handing me a Cherry Blossom cocktail... going down a treat! What yous havin? Slàinte Mhath!

Btw, trans rights are human rights, this is a safe space for trans people, and fuck the UK Supreme Court 🏳️‍⚧️

You're not actually allowed to touch the net Sydney, that's a point to me

Practicing what with the arm, Temu? I will take the set of 4 merkins though, thanks

Personally if I paid the mega big bucks to do an 11 minute Space Tourism, I wouldn't want a single minute of that feeling like I had to smile and nod and indulge someone singing in a tiny tin can

Monday