If Godzilla was trying to get somewhere, I'd simply walk in a different direction from his destination. If King Kong was polite enough, to wait foe me to get out of his way, I'd get the fuck out of his way, instead of running under him. This post is about my cats.

I always like it when I can work, 'yesteryear,' into a text like I'm goddamned Poe.

One great thing about BlueSky is that I'm almost guaranteed to come across one Muppets related post per day.

I hope the next season of The Morning Show is just 10 hour-long episodes of the characters making fun of CBS and Bari Weiss. Especially Alex and Cory.

All three of my cats have different forms of only child syndrome.

I think i pushed the leftovers, one too many nights. My stomach has been fucked in the eyesockets all day.

Other people go have a drink after a loss like this but Aaron Rodgers is going to go out there and get measles

Shit. Rodgers is gonna start a Podcast, isn't he?

If we get out of this, we need real systematic reform And we need to start identifying the people who are willing to do that and give them support and the people who are not and get rid of them

If you call your pets, "fur babies," please stop giving me dirty looks for referring to my, "skin children."

Why do Joe Buck and Tom Brady get so much hate when Chris Collinsworrh exists?

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Every player should have to wear those weird fabric things over their helmets. I'm sure it's safer and it's more fun to look at, like watching Funko Pops play football.

I bought a Tech Deck for my wife to take to a kid that she's been working with at her educational job. I didn't know they were less than. $3 so I got one for myself too. Why didn't anyone tell me how much joy these dumb cheap little toys can bring you?!?

Boss: If there's nothing else, I think we can wrap up this meeting early and give everyone 15 minutes of their time, back. The Worst Coworker you have:

The Pitt is foreshadowing a huge punch in the gut.

Is there a better feeling, in the whole wide world, than cupping your hoodie sleeve over a car heater and feeling the warm air inflate your clothes?

“renee good was a part of a larger, hidden network of organized leftists” you mean having friends? you mean going to local meetings about how to keep her neighbors from getting kidnapped?

Why, General Mills? WHY?!? Why do you have to release this one week after I've cut out 90% of my carbs and the cravings have finally passed?

Good question for Kristi Noem.

I'd die for her.

BREAKING: ICE shooter identified as Jonathan Ross. www.startribune.com/ice-agent-wh...

The “prosecute the former regime at every level” candidate has my vote in 2028.

I’m an American and I hate all of this evil shit. All of it. Fuck you if you don’t.

Release the name of the shooter!

Any ICE members want me to say it to your face? Where you fucking at?

I feel that society is finally past the point where parties and barbecues are just about waiting your turn to show a cool YouTube video. Too bad everything else went backward.

Just had to pull over, and wait... and wait... and wait... for the slowest ambulance ever.

Ok. I may finally give up on the Discover feed. It's all video games and furries.

We’re now an unpredictable rogue nation being run by a lunatic.

I'm not snobby enough to come up with my own music top 10 list but I did find 3 bands on multiple other top 10s that I dig, a whole bunch. They're incredibly different from one another and I forget the names of the records but they are: Agriculture Geese Home Front

Just let MTG cook. She has the ear of a demographic that no one, on this app, has. She may have (definitely has done) some terrible shit in tbe past but if she can influence a chunk of constituents, in the right direction, Ima fucking take it.

We must discover the names of all the individual OIL EXECUTIVES who did this to us. TIME TO START NAMING NAMES.

😕

I had to walk out of the living room because I kept yelling at Rubio on TV.

Somehow Dr Phil is going to be put in charge of Venezuela

In the past week I've seen commercials for the new seasons of Malcolm in the Middle and Scrubs. Oh. And we're going to war for oil, under false pretenses. Is emo coming back next?

Maybe if we all pointed our middle fingers, hard enough, toward West Palm Beach, we could make a difference. Worth a try.

Man! What a way to sully the integrity of the FIFA World Peace Prize.

There is a pleasant rain outside. In Colorado. In January.

It's so stupid that today is a Thursday. WTF am I supposed to do?

Do you open your New Years gifts before or after New Years brunch?

We’re leaving the expulsion of urine from the bladder in 2025. I’m taking the No Pissing In 2026 Pledge

I gotta admit, when this finale is able to avoid being kinda corny, it's doing a pretty great James Cameron impression.

If you're anything like me, and I'm approximating there's maybe a 15% chance you are, you're getting sick and tired of this freeze dried trend taking up precious grocery store space. Lemme tell you, the new Caramel M&Ms Popd are fucking legit. Those are the exception to the rule.

There was so much to dislike about this year. One thing I did like, though, is that it seems like movies are exiting the franchise rut. I don't mind franchises. I keep up with Star Wars and Marvel but I don't appreciate them the same way I appreciate a stand alone film.

I've been manning the office while my coworkers take vacation. I know exactly how much work has come in, in December. I hate it when they get back from vacation and need three days to, "catch up," on their inbox. I FORWARDED 2 EMAILS TO YOU! 2!!! Take on some new tickets!