🎵I love eating lunch So put another lunch in my lunchbox baby 🎵

Just learned that New Jersey has other islands? I thought it was just Atlantic City and Sicily

Twitter is down. This is the last post that loaded on my TL. Maybe it's down forever and this is the last tweet I'll ever see, like a dying man's last memory being of his mother's face

An underrated part of American culture is the subconscious belief that if you can just make yourself stupid enough you can get into heaven through the door babies use

Guy on the radio at the Christian thrift store just said "diapers may very well be the thing God uses to push your squishy button today"

The Grinch And Santa Are Raging Inside Me

The Doula's Tulpa #thedoulastulpa

How high does your blood sugar have to get before you stop worrying about mosquitoes and start worrying about hummingbirds?

*guy defending trump* well I know HILLARY wasn't doing it

Last night at Halloween I drank a diet coke with lime while smoking a menthol cigarette. Scintillating. Refreshing.

I'm in the pond with a boba straw slurpin up my weight in tadpoles

"I asked ChatGPT" "I asked Grok" yeah well I asked my friend Joe, I asked my friend Jake, they said it was fhqwhgads

Steampunk hacker pulling a bunch of levers really fast

installing a subwoofer in my car to make the Google maps lady sound taller

Rumble The Bison has been spotted at the Red Dog

The top of every Thunder fan’s Spotify Wrapped is about to be Sam Presti’s Milk Money

Rumble better get a ring

Chet needs to be 2-3x fatter

I actually don't think the three-pointer should be a part of basketball. It's dishonorable

Basketball is my least favorite sport I hate the way they dribble up and down the court

They put Patton Oswalt and Jar Jar Martin in X-men

Arthur the Aardvark is Latino

The Oklahoma City Thunder

You: you better not be the 2001 film adaptation of Herman Melville's famous short story "Bartleby the Scrivener" when I get home Me:

This is extremely stupid. And yet Jamie, @themartinduprass.bsky.social, @serioussanchez.bsky.social, and @zizpa.bsky.social still turned in Grade-A performances. We love you @clabbergirl.bsky.social

'The sheer thudding force of @chatpileband.bsky.social is what’s initially noticeable – and when I say 'noticeable', I mean in the way a plane landing in your kitchen is noticeable.' ★★★★★ for Chat Pile in Glasgow earlier this week

All will fall before the Spirit of the Prairie

let's get lost tonight, you can be my black-caped Bostonite

Got too high at my whaling job and forgot the name for the harpoon gun. I was yelling at the harpoon guy like "Use the rope blaster! Blast rope at him!"

Seeing Kill Tony be on Netflix makes me for real think about like. What were comedy variety shows like in 1933 Germany. Were people just being horrible on stage? I would assume so lol

The Kickstarter for GAMER MOM: THE MOM WHO GAMES - live now! - is pleased to offer a special discounted fee for the print edition to a limited number of backers while supplies last! Check out our free ten-page preview to see if it catches your fancy. www.kickstarter.com/projects/abb...

Gary Sinise's more virtuous doppelganger, Gary Dext

"I like to call it Gnarlins" -The Louisiana Snowboarder

Travis Kelce knows he's getting hit with a rolled-up newspaper after the game

Cannot IMAGINE the psychic damage Mahomes is taking

Things are NOT looking good for the Kansas City Chieves

i cant believe the super bowl is streaming on tubi <3 it feels like watching a character actor go from indie darling to being the face of a franchise. it's like jenna ortega

Okay for this one pretend it's 6 months ago and also 40 years ago: Let me go on Like a blister in the sun Let me go on Moo Deng I know you're the one

Joe I'm moving to LA this weekend get me a meeting!

Tom Lehrer if he was working at the birth of the universe: there's hydrogen and hydrogen and hydrogen and hydrogen and hydrogen and

Niblet definition Niblet vs Kernel differnece between kernel and niblet list of corn terms

Coffee isn't special. You can roast any bean and it'll do the same thing

Mallrats would not have been successful if they'd had podcasts in the 90s

creators.spotify.com/pod/show/dan... Epiosde 1---Alex Sanchez on I Will Go Sailing No More @serioussanchez.bsky.social

Today's youth need a positive role model to help keep them from getting radicalized online. That's why my new YouTube channel, The Steampunk Greaser,

Christmas Eve reminder that those Santas you see in malls ARE the real thing. Every one of them is a genuine present-delivering Santa because there's not just one Santa, Santa is a hive organism. That's how all the presents get delivered. I'll explain:

Gonna cross post the long-ass Twitter thread I did about santa on here so sorry or you're welcome or whatecer

“If I were a sculptor… but then again, no” Why are we listening to your first draft, ASS HOLE??

Happy birthday to the two people who made this show possible --- Randy Newman and @serioussanchez.bsky.social Hear me talk to one of them about the other. open.spotify.com/episode/4TCf... #RandyNewman #Wow #Hashtag #HotSnigletsInYourArea