Enhance a book! Portnoy's Hissy Fit

Remember when the Ken White team was primarily Deadheads?

And now, every time the word rapture is mentioned in the Bible: [A thread]

More rapture goodies for you youtu.be/8d3IM8lIASI?...

🎶 Joseph never showed 'em.....

When I was 9, my dad enrolled me in sleepaway camp without realizing that the camp was run by Christian evangelicals. Once the camp realized I was a Jew, they told the kids that the kid who won my soul to Christ first would get a big prize at the end of the week. They gave me this comic to read.

Lonely Tylenol Not a banana baton

Acetaminophen

It is time. youtu.be/Z8P6DDCZZhw?...

if you see this, post a robot

I'll take "terminally bad jets" over "glimmer of hope jets" any day.

Remember when they blew up Obama's head in that dumb Kingsman movie?

This is great and all, but now I've got "Ana Ng" stuck in my head

Ten sacks.

Thank me for my attention to this matter

Look the Kimmel situation sucks, but it calmed down the blood lust. Damage could have been so much worse

I can't watch the Auburn game --- I'll be at the dentist! *rim shot*

People keep misspelling Willennium

Do you guys ever think about how if Keiko ever left him, he’d be Solo Dad O’Brien

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

Oklahomans are masters of Bitter Beer Face ™️

Wow, the revolution really won't be televised.

Mary and Dennis invite me to talk about Robert Redford sites.libsyn.com/398906/episo...

So the treasury department released the new inflation numbers today. Did you see those Ed? I tell you, if prices keep going up, Haircut 100 is bound to have a comeback. [Golf swing]

Beyoncé-approved

🎶 Cause everybody knows L.A. Toon Femme Fatale

Who called it Hejira and not Funky Go Medina

Don't labubu, vote

I was proud of this one

gonna post some old tweets i’ve saved over the years

Discovering computer as an adult makes you go crazy. Discovering computer as a baby makes you go crazy. In all of human history, there will only ever be one generation to discover computer at the correct age: 13

Seems like every tragedy devolves into

The piss tank on the ISS is now 69% full.

On a scale of Richard Jewell to Luigi, how sympathetic will the dumbest of our allies be?

Political violence disproportionately hurts people with less power, not people with more power. Political violence will disproportionately hurt people of color and women and LGBTQ people. It’s not fair, but that’s the way it works. Celebrating political violence means at best indifference to that.

Girl, im starting to suspect it *is* a meta-phor.

This joke doesn't work in Oklahoma

I should have asked Tom Paxton if he had higher function

The emergency sirens go off at The Capitol Steps HQ

You’re not supposed to aspire to the idiocy of a Wodehouse character.

Three consecutive songs on Chickasaw Public Radio today: Diana Krall Amy Grant Olivia Newton-John

Sabrina should have been wearing an H2S monitor. Stay safe in manholes everybody

Oh my.

Its ***finally*** nice enough to go to a MiLB game. You know what that means? See you next summer

We're going back to the super bowl Joe! I want to kish you

John Mater, is this anything?