ICE can target deez nuts

I'm always tired and it never seems to end 😭

Can we negotiate at a pumpkin patch?

Don't want me in the liquor store at 9am, don't have the liquor store open at 9am.

I shutdown all the time, government ain’t special

I've been tired since somewhere in 2009

Everyone should try smoking at least once

I've been tired since somewhere in 2009

Are cigarettes really bad or is that just another lie by the liberals?

Are cigarettes really bad or is that just another lie by the liberals?

It's 2025...why isn't the whole poptart frosted?

Change your vocabulary and stop using the language of the predator. 1. Underage woman = child 2. Sex scandal (involving children) = rape 3. Sex with child = child rape 4. Sex trafficking = rape trafficking 5. Pedophile = child rapist #opdeatheaters

This email has found me dead

The POTUS raped kids. Really no other way to explain it.

Why are Senate Republicans HELLBENT on preventing you from seeing who molested children?

MAY EVERY DAY BE ANOTHER WONDERFUL SECRET

Tax the church

I didn't even know Nick Adams was a real person. I swore it was a satire bot account. Ffs. WHAT ARE WE DOING

"American Dream" because you gotta be asleep to believe it

What amount of Benadryl meets the Hatwoman

I'm starting to believe I'm living in a fever dream. Literally no other way to explain the world.

I didn't even know Nick Adams was a real person. I swore it was a satire bot account. Ffs. WHAT ARE WE DOING

Your love for me may be temporary, but the disappointment you feel is forever.

This year is just end-to-end fuck-ups and bad news.

All gas. No brakes

Head of NASA goes from an actual astronaut to an MTV real-world contestant. Get me off this timeline please

Geez..now they have drop off bins?

The richest country on earth with the shittiest alert systems. Thoughts with all the families from Texas and New Mexico.

Tax the church

If churches are allowed to endorse political candidates, then they must also pay taxes.

MS13 is short for Microsoft Office 2013

No more awareness please. I've seen enough

*Do I show up 30 minutes early* Yes *Do I stay in my car for 30 minutes in the parking lot to cry before I head into work?* Also yes

Maybe if I set myself on fire this guy will get the hint I'm not interested in his story.

We could just tax billionaires

Are we winning yet?

Any good Signal chats to join?

I just slapped a huge tariff on your Mom's ass.

The joke is literally this year and it ain’t even funny

*we noticed you missed a payment* Yeah, didn't feel like paying

A protest is planned in Green Bay to speak out against Musk’s influence. Our votes are stronger than his money. Wisconsin is NOT for sale. Protest Details: Sunday, March 30 | 4:30–6:30 PM CDT 300 Main St, Green Bay, WI 54301

With the amount of guns in this country why hasn’t anyone **** ***

Are you guys filing your taxes or like, what are we doing this year.

"Ten" by Pearl Jam is the greatest debut album to ever be recorded. Change my mind

Trump signed an executive order that he said would “begin eliminating the federal Department of Education once and for all,” although the agency cannot be closed without the approval of Congress.

Reminder: If you’re sharing information, protect yourself. Documents and communications often contain hidden watermarks, intentional typos, odd punctuation, inconsistent spacing, or stylized phrasing—all designed to uniquely identify the source.

Has the IRS been dismantled yet or do I still need to file?

Even my teeth are tired

Twinkle, twinkle little star How I wonder WHAT THE FUCK