"Broom the soup." A lot of centrists are freaking out right now, and people are both reading too much and too little into the DSA victories, but a metaphor from my career may be helpful here. 1/?

righteous paragraph. I don't think I'm alone in being sick to fuckin death of hearing about Donald Trump

Who’s paying team algae? George Sporos?

Let’s check in on how Jared and Ivanka’s luxury Albanian resort is doing…

If I was a firefighter in Los Angeles I would simply put out the warehouse fire.

Next time you’re about to use the term “comprised of”, please pause for a moment and ask yourself if it will make you look intellectual, or like an idiot.

Combination reflecting pool/strategic petroleum reserve

Heads up, Pete, your title might be changing 😅

I hope this doesn't distract her from the critical work she is doing as the Special Envoy to the Shield of the Americas.

Never before in the history of this country has a war been lost so quickly, pointlessly, and decisively. Utter humiliation.

In defense of JD Vance, he can’t really be expected to negotiate some amazing deal without any experience or training.

The wild celebrations and street parties are really going to something to watch. Too bad he won’t be around to see them.

Same way tariffs on everything you buy aren’t taxes.

Morning Kitten

It never ceases to amaze me that even a single tradesperson believes this man would represent their interests. This is the asshole who stiffs his contractors, buries them under lawsuits, the suit with his boot on your neck, squeezing every dime of profit out of you, bleeding you dry.

For decades, Dan Patrick has sold out the poor, the sick, and the vulnerable to enrich his donors. Love feels like blasphemy when you worship power.

Per the 1901 McMillan Plan, the Reflecting Pool is perfectly bookended by the Trump-Lincoln Memorial on one end and anchored by the Trump-WW2 Memorial on the other, with the Trump-Washington Monument almost perfectly aligned in the distance.

Not only had the war ended, we obliterated their nuclear program before the war even began.

Special Report: Markwayne Mullen is so dumb he wipes his ass side-to-side.

Focaccia: vastly overrated

I hope this email finds you fucking dead! Haha damn autocorrect amiright?

Oh to be a little Tardigrade walking across a microscope slide. 🫧🐻🧪

Having the hardest time getting a straight answer from my veterinarian, Dr Schrödinger

DAVID

Where’s MAHA? Where’s all the MAHA Mamas? Still in the cereal aisle screaming about fruit loop food dyes?

Luckily the pilots safely ejaculated

Finnish artist Tove Jansson painting the fresco Party in the Countryside, Helsinki, 1947 #WomensArt

The more things strange, the more things stray insane.

This wheel is to the boy squirrel the way that the football is to Charlie Brown and it still makes me laugh every time he tries to use it only to be immediately spun.

Russian joke, now applicable here Every day an old guy walks to the news stand, looks at the front page, then sadly replaces the newspaper. What are you hoping to see? the seller asks. An obituary, he says. Obituaries aren’t on the front page, the seller tells him. This one will be, he replies.

Despite the clickbait title, a thoughtful explanation on the various scenarios and how they could play out. Spoiler alert: None of them are good youtu.be/HcjbJvpKZIU?...

A single pellet? Specious as fuck

That last lonely rotisserie chicken sweating under the heat lamp at the grocery store 5 hours past its prime 😬🤮

Still searching Sun Tzu for “If your enemy is 86 years old, martyr him so his son can assume even more power”

time to unleash The Grilled Cheese Essay (which personally made padma lakshmi cry) on the newskies buttondown.com/theswordandt...

Weird to me that they changed starfish to sea stars bc they’re “not fish”. And yet. Do they think sea horses? Are horses??

After the day we’ve had on Bluesky, we all need this. #Cats 🐈‍⬛

Exactly one year ago today:

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JD Vance: Don’t let your mouth write a check that your ass can’t cash, Pope.

Cute but weak on crime

Magyar: “No mercy, they will need to take responsibility for all their actions.”

Y’know who was REALLY weak on crime?

I WAS TOLD HE WOULD RUN THIS COUNTRY LIKE A BUSINESS! (extracting every drop of profit for the executives while screwing over the workers)

Not surprising to me that a real estate developer, a son-in-law with no international relations experience, and a couch-fucking venture capitalist couldn’t negotiate a deal.

Little baby Adolph was such a darling angel, couldn't bring myself to strangle it.

Changing one of the best branded companies to "X" was absolutely dumb from a marketing perspective but I'm glad they did it to demarcate the era when it turned into a festering Nazi hellsite