Does seem a little odd that nobody seems bovved about extracting any policy/manifesto commitments from Burnham 🤷🏻‍♂️

Ah Cannes. A very good reason to stay the hell away from LinkedIn this week. In case anyone needed another reason.

Monday

Whatevs your allegiances, you gotta love Big Dunc. youtube.com/shorts/VSwxl...

I have found a name for my pain, and it is… Figma.

Not sure I can sit through a second half of that.

Am I having a mini-stroke or has ITV really put the only woman on the commentating team in a kitchen? 😬

Gotta be a pen

Just listened to Gary Lineker’s advert podcast.

Had high hopes for this one but it’s proving to be a bit of a stinker thus far 🇳🇱 🇯🇵

BBC Guest: “I think Gianni Infantino and FIFA are a bunch of greedy fucks.” BBC: “Apologies for the language.”

Sadly I could see Tony Khan inviting Jesse Marsch in for an interview.

Also in honour of David Hockney, this is my niece wearing a Bigger Splash jumper that my sister knitted her.

This World Cup is stuffed with Fulham stars 😁

If the BBC fired Chris Mason maybe they could afford a fancy Friends-style set overlooking the Brooklyn Bridge.

Incite riots. Bomb children. All OK according to the British state. Peaceful protest not so much. Fucks sake. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

Just gave Joan As Policewoman’s remake of ‘Real Life’ from 2007 a go. Perfectly pleasant, but not entirely sure what the point was…

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAL 🇲🇽

Yes, I can imagine you having that effect on people

Well the heating’s gone on.

Go on Raul old son! 🇲🇽

If Muslims or members of the Asian and Black community had set fire to white people’s homes with children running for their lives, do you think we would be discussing legitimate concerns or focussing on who radicalised them and ideological and contributing cultural factors?

God Ivan Toney is such a bell end. Unbearable.

Bloke in Southampton gets two years for chucking a bollard (OK he had previous) while Farage, who incited the riot, swans about smoking cigars in Mayfair gentlemen’s’ clubs? Meanwhile Tommy Robinson and the Tates appear to be getting trained up in Russia, without anyone seemingly batting an eyelid 🤔

Get out of a permanent defensive crouch and go after these people. There's plenty of material.

Shove them into the meat grinder, everyone wins.

Here’s this week’s cartoon for @sport.theguardian.com www.theguardian.com/football/pic...

Labour strikes looming, criminal proceedings launched against Infantino, revoked Visas and military conflicts - this World Cup could be truly spectacular 🍿

Reassuring to see our world beating players appear flummoxed by the low block

Hopefully Ivan Toney will turn his ankle on this pitch and we can get someone else in late doors.

Already been exposed at the back twice by NZ 👍🏻

This is one of those pics Bert from Suede doesn’t want you to see.

Genuinely hope both Iran and Iraq pull out of this cursed tournament on the day of their respective first games. Maximum embarrassment.

Just seen an actual Amazon TV ad in which the name ‘Xavier’ was pronounced ‘Ex-av-e-ay.’ Ex-av-AI 🖕🏻

So Mandelson was in talks with Farage, and told Labour comms not to say anything "disobliging". But Farage obliged by recommending Mandelson as Ambassador. Something about all this stinks

Well. Who knew there were so many racist wankers in Southampton?

Harrison Reed against Liverpool Premier League Goal of the Season

Energy profits “is not something that falls within our remit”, says Head of Ofgem. What does regulating energy companies mean then?

Someone tell The Guardian they can stop with the Arsenal articles now…

my first tattoo

Genuinely heartening to see the lack of love for Arsenal in my timeline this evening.

Boycott @hayfestival.bsky.social

That Tom Cairney goal went a long way towards mitigating the tedium of this dismal season 🧙

Well trying to sleep in 28 degree temperatures was fun 🫠

What’s that you say, our stand-in ambassador the US has been suddenly removed for leaking details of a meeting in which the PM suggested allowing the Americans to use our bases to bomb Iran in an illegal war, despite the objections of his cabinet? Absolutely classic Starmer.

Nice one Boris, you useless, blustering sack of shit 👍🏻 www.bbc.co.uk/sport/footba...

JP Morgan can fuck right off. www.theguardian.com/business/2026/may/12/jamie-dimon-jp-morgan-could-scrap-new-3bn-hq-if-starmer-is-replaced-by-pm-hostile-to-banks

If there is one essential quality for any Labour PM - actually any global leader - in the current environment, it is courage. Both leadership challengers are currently hiding behind a battalion of unknowns, sent out to inflict hourly papercuts on their own PM. This seems to me to disqualify them.

A plague on all their houses. Sick and tired of the whole fucking dismal lot of ‘em. And as for the British media, well…