What are the names of the U.S. Navy officers carrying out these orders to serially bomb civilian boats that pose no threat to their own vessels, killing everyone aboard? Surely they’ll want to take personal credit for this honorable service and perhaps wear a little campaign medal on their chest.

Seriously? Can it wait until early Wednesday morning like an iPhone update? We’ve got Phils tickets Tuesday night.

Good morning!! I’m going to be teaching Shakespeare workshops during the game today, but go Birds!!

🤣 he was out cold on my chest and still caught me trying to catch him napping. He never really sleeps. #NickFury

The GenZ mind cannot comprehend the I Dream of Jeannie/Bewitched Power Hour. An entire ½hr of Veteran & Submissive Magic Wife Who Leaves When Your Friends Show Up followed by Salaryman & Mischievous Magic Wife Whose Mother Never Leaves These were The Two Lifestyles. And we used to masturbate to it

This isn't being done for disparaging Charlie Kirk or celebrating his death. It's for implying out loud and on the air that JD Vance is a lying sack of shit. And I'm here to tell you friends, that while the Vice President is a great many things, a lying sack of shit is definitely one of them.

Uncle Vic is the gift that keeps on giving. Go birds.

this would theoretically provide power long enough to play the monorail episode of The Simpsons, which is all we really need electricity to do these days anyway

I can get caught in an affect/effect loop like an elderly driver in a Jersey roundabout for HOURS. Just going back and forth trying to remember which one's a noun and which one's a verb like

Just to yes and what I just reposted from @treblaw.bsky.social - it seems increasingly obvious that in many aspects of our lives, there's an entire class of people who get paid to analyze/evaluate events while pretending they're not actually participating in them. That seems weird and destructive.

the thing I wonder: is he really influential? Or is he just omnipresent and loud? Do people truly tune in to learn from him and be influenced by him or is it a car crash watch where you want to see what b.s. he says and/or you like to get mad?? Do you smell burning toast

CF Phyllis DH Schwarber (let him chase 58, FFS) 1B Phanatic RF Castellanos (JUST IN CASE) 3B Schmidt (let him chase 550) LF Me and my buddy who has a small scene in "Task" for celebrity value (we'll trade innings) 2B MICK-EY MORANDINI! SS Lantigua C Stubbs (wearing his overalls and 12-pack box hat)

Ta-Nehisi Coates has done the reading web.archive.org/web/20250916...

He's alive, so I guess we're still legally permitted to point out that Ben Shapiro is a glib, nasty dipshit whose success is a testament to the abysmal intellectual standards on the right.

Watched the first two episodes of “Task” last night and I’d like to think that the quality and force of Tom Pelphrey’s *immaculate* hoagiemouth dialect is what inspired the Phils to last night’s win.

I’m so sorry, New England friends but it’s obviously Moxie. The rest of us are discussing an intervention.

Those that know every bar written supported and said without guessing Thank you all across this Planet Earth

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

Not trying to be ungrateful but so…we’re just back to hitting long 50s like they’re nothing and everything’s fine? What was that last year? The yips? Did he sprain a nut in camp and not want to tell anybody? Do y’all know how stressful that shit was?!?

AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA FUCK YOU COWBOYS

Every picture of this garden gnome looks like Dr Sam Beckett just quantum leaped into his body right this second and hasn't figured out what's going on yet

Can I just say I assumed it was pronounced Skatte-BEAU and then felt like the dumbest mfer alive because of COURSE it's Skatte-BOO. It couldn't possibly be anything else.

Morning everyone. Go Birds.

It’s up and it’s so fucking stupid. 🤼▶️ youtu.be/HawR7Au8o9U?...

No, YOU got choked up both before the main event during the heartbeat and afterwards. Shut up. Thank you to @powerprolucha.bsky.social for an amazing weekend!

Last night through no fault of their own @powerprolucha.bsky.social got hit with technical issues that make the theater manager in me want to cry, and still pulled off an A+ show. If you weren't planning on going to night 2 tonight you should reconsider. 🤼

Me, to myself for the next 24 hours or so every time I get to watch a couple of those 102s: 🕷️

WOO HOO! Trios tourneys in September are kind of my jam.

Extremely online meme brain rot is what ties together the killer, his victim, the "law enforcement officials" leading the investigation and most of the reporters covering the case, so it's not really that surprising nobody's noticing. It's like expecting fish to report on water.

Omg omg omg #aew #wrestlesky 🤼‍♂️

"We can't allow political violence to become a common occurrence!" It's already a common occurrence. We just got really good at exporting it to other countries so we didn't have to experience it in ways that affected the elites back home. Now it's starting to, and you're panicking.

Some people don’t choose words over violence out of principle - they choose words because they know they’re speaking for a system that will happily do the violence far more efficiently for them. (And usually also because they’re giant fucking cowards.)

We simply cannot live in a country where the death of hate mongers is a tragedy and the death of everyone else only warrants a shrug.

Every billionaire is simultaneously a bold visionary genius and a smol bean who's just too busy and trusting! Honestly, who has time to make sure the shit you're doing isn't wildly illegal? And there's so many mean and manipulative people out there looking to exploit doe-eyed naifs like Ballmer.

When the Abbott & Costello bit has gone off the rails

PAY THE MAN, DAVE

👀 The implications of all this for the Clippers and Kawhi seem to be getting worse. Hey uh...what does the potential fallout of all this mean if a team that *isn't* the Clippers is, shall we say, "heavily invested" in future LA Clippers first round picks?

*credibly accused rapist*, otherwise carry on

what a humiliating way for don jr. to find out his dad sends birthday cards.

So. You elected a child-rapist

*deep, extended breath entirely through nose* K.

Thinking of my Dad today - I think about that last line I wrote two years ago about the size of his shoes, and I'm grateful that I'm in a (mostly) good and positive place and that at least for right now I feel up to the challenge of living up to his memory. I still miss the hell out of him.

Many media types and Dems continue to operate as if Trump is a politically invincible figure, a "Teflon Don." But in truth he's becoming an increasingly weak, failing, diminished, unpopular, naked-emperor figure, and it's time to treat him as such. 1/ (new piece) newrepublic.com/article/2000...

Yaow dis app is bein’ a rull dickead.

Comedy - Love’s Labors Lost (technically one of the romances, but w/e) - the answer to the question, “what if Shakespeare wrote an episode of Three’s Company?’ Tragedy - Ricky 3. The acting challenge everybody thinks Hamlet is, plus a much cooler and better paced story.

You could save yourself $69,999,500 or so and just get “I care too much about college football” tattooed across your forehead.

Tattoos you get when you’re a very specific type of theater person. Design and art by the incredible Amado Bird at Heart of Gold in Philly.

The PA announcer in Brazil sounds just enough like the guy at the top of Duran’s walkout clip that I keep randomly humming El Incomprendido to myself. (jk I’m never not humming El Incomprendido to myself)