Five spice cola

Have just paid $20 for a Chinese lady to punch me in the head repeatedly.

Or maybe, just maybe, a government with a massive majority should just take a leaf out of Thatcher's book to hunker down and pass legislation it thinks is necessary rather than just get whacked around by weekly polling

My favourite online lunatics are the Australians who complain about Australian news outlets reporting on US politics but then spend 90% of their time on social media frothing about US politics.

Google Photos is asking me to tag a photo of a waxwork of the Queen

Today is the National Day in China, and there are lots of fireworks 🎆🎇

in October 1973 the BBC went to Hornsea where the council allowed nude bathing (i’ve been laughing at this for longer than i care to admit)

This article notes that the risk doubles, but it doesn't say what it doubles from and to. The paper it refers to, however, does, and it is from almost nothing to almost nothing.

Hello, "some legal experts have called it a crime" doesn't mean others have said it's not a crime. It can mean that *all* of the legal experts consulted called it a crime, and all of the legal experts consulted are just some of the legal experts who exist. Please learn how to read.

Our meal this evening features very very fresh peanuts from the peanut farm in Renhe – blanched, not roasted. They have a slight peppery taste. Delicious. Also a spread of fresh vegetables from the vegetable garden, and prawns and oysters that were in the sea VERY RECENTLY.

We used to go to a fish and chip shop in Ilkley that offered fish and chips and a full English breakfast in massive breadcake, with the promise that if you finished it, it was free. I don't think they ever paid out.

Not my idea - I can't remember which institution implemented this, but it's worth sharing: It is possible to comply with the government's shit new bathroom laws by making your *main toilets* inclusive and making your "third space" the one TERFs can use. If you have sway in planning meetings...

I'm both of these people tbh. I just won't read or listen to really boring stories, and I am perpetually confused by people who will.

I am now on a coach to Rongcheng. I understand why I am on a coach, even when there is a train that goes to and from the same place slightly quicker and for the same money, but I am still unhappy about it.

I got some knitting done on the plane yesterday too. I don't need any more socks, but a sock really is the ideal travel knitting project. 🧶

I read Thomas Mann's "Death in Venice" on the plane yesterday, but Wikipedia tells me it was the translation that has been criticised for being puritanical and downplaying the homoeroticism. Still a nice read but.

One thing in like about China is how common 2pm check-out in hotels is. It's 11:30am and I'm still in bed, and we're preparing a leisurely onward journey to Rongcheng.

🛬 TAO

Waiting...

My standard morning grumpiness is not being helped by having to spend time in this bit of Sydney Airport that I didn't even know existed (the public area). Adrian is making me sit in what I assume is the cargo hold for our flight to Qingdao, so I'm not allowed into the lounge.

Looks red to me

In an Uber to the airport.

New slur just dropped

Well that’s just rude.

Mary Poppins has been CANCELLED

I really do not understand the knitters who are constantly churning out stocking stitch top-down raglan sweaters worked in the round. Like, a lot of the are beautiful and show off lovely yarns, but the process must be so so boring, how do they not go insane? 🧶

There is already a fairer and simpler system

When readers with terrible reading comprehension skills read poorly written books by incompetent authors.

always

Would be great if my Brother printer had a mobile app with a name that had either the word "Brother" or "printer" or "print" in its name. But, no, the name of the app is "Mobile Connect", so its basically impossible to search for it using obvious keywords.

This is a thing that is true, but also saying it reveals you haven't read beyond the headline.

Mordor on the Orient Express

I have installed Alipay on my phone in preparation for my upcoming trip to the Middle Kingdom, so RIP in peace my battery life.

No need for jogless colour change techniques when you can just hide the colour change jog in a cable! 🧶

Did they actually put "Ming Campbell" or is this screenshot doctored?

It's a log of Tony Abbott's raw onion consumption in 2014.

"Labour Party expert here: Labour only consider Burnham as a leader when very distressed!"

I get so irritated by people giving advice in the comments on Facebook knitting pages - so many of them either give bad advice or refuse to give advice at all, telling people asking for help that their work is fine and they should ignore their mistakes and just carry on etc etc 🧶

YouTube Music coming up with the good stuff tonight 👍👍

✅ Laptop CLOSED ✅ Out of office ON ✅ Teams and Outlook mobile apps DELETED ✅ Holiday STARTED (Except I have two exams this weekend 😔)

Lol people really do believe that "planned obsolescence" is a thing don't they.

This essay was a bit of a struggle – I had a serious case of writer's block, and even telling myself "just fucking write the damned thing" didn't work, which it usually does. So I'm quite pleased with this mark 👍

Why on earth would I ever answer the phone? Even to known phone numbers. Like, if I wanted to talk you you, I would have phoned *you*.

Four nights left before I go to China, and I have four episodes left of "Bon Appetit Your Majesty" to watch. I have timed this perfectly 👨‍🍳😘👌

Imagine a man gets raptured in front of you and you look up and see his balls and hole and everything and he’s kicking his legs. Huge ick.

Sabrina Carpenter is a gen x lounge singer trapped in the body of a Polly Pocket. Sabrina Carpenter is countryfied britpop. Sabrina Carpenter is a paper maché Ann Margaret. Sabrina Carpenter is David Foster Wallace in a peignoir set. Sabrina Carpenter is postmodernism itself. Sabrina Carpenter is.

See how well I, as an immigrant, am ✨integrating✨ into Australian culture. Explaining my own jokes as soon as I've told them. What's more Australian than that!

Slightly downgrade a band CMXCIX People

I wonder if it will be of those old style coins with a hole in it

It's Sam Campbell's elongated vowels that make me go all unnecessary tbh.