Me sowing: Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!! Me reaping: Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.

Years and years of pretty much everyone ignoring this sort of thing has enabled the govt to ignore the pogroms in Belfast last night.

Hi guys, just wondering if anyone has any experience in planning and executing audacious Oceans 11-style heists? DMs are open. www.bbc.co.uk/news/article...

I find it very hard to offer the kind of satellite analyses on my home city that several people (including Keir Starmer) seem to relish in. But the one thing that strikes me is that characterising this as solely loyalist violence is at once accurate and yet also somehow complacent

Here's an easter egg in the new Lego Batman that I think all of you will REALLY appreciate. It's so good, I had to make a video.

I don't dislike Naomi Long, but this is kind of nonsense. While Musk et al's online exhortations are unpleasant and deplorable, these pogroms are being driven by an organised group who have been a key and influential part of Northern Irish society for decades. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

How many women in Northern Ireland have been stabbed to death in the last few years without loyalists needing to riot over it?

Sectarian loyalists hate three things. Catholics, anyone who isn't English, and public transport.

Anna Turley is touring news studios calling the Common Travel Area into question on the basis that the open border is being exploited. This just throws huge uncertainty into febrile politics. Thousands rely on the CTA daily. The reason asylum seekers can't be returned to a safe EU country? Brexit.

The only legitimate and honourable way to decide the new Labour leader, that actually assesses each candidate on skills they will need to lead the party and nation is clear. Touch The Truck.

I’m so frustrated that I have to argue 20th century philosophy about whether machines are people and 18th century science about whether germs are real and fucking 15th century colonial bullshit about whether people are human beings.

Timeless post.

I’m disappointed by these WhatsApp messages, to be honest. Not only is there much less slithering, coiling and hissing than I expected, but they don’t even mention me once.

How about washing some off your hands from the last 800 years?

I simply do not believe that Jürgen Klopp, A German Man, the MOST German Man, would willingly drink a Budweiser.

Never in the history of criminal or civil legal disputes has Posting Through It been a successful strategy, but I wish Mr McGuirk all the best with his plans.

“Sometimes, carrying on, just carrying on, is the superhuman achievement.” - Albert Camus ‘Carry on Camping’ released this day in 1969. Signed prints available here: shorturl.at/WuJGr @barneyfarmer.bsky.social

THE CAR DEALERSHIP SAID I NEEDED A CREDIT CHECK. I SAID MY CREDIT IS MY WORD. I PLACED MY WORD ON THE COUNTER. THE SALESMAN COULD NOT SEE IT. I EXPLAINED IT WAS THERE. HE STARED AT THE COUNTER FOR TWENTY MINUTES. HE BLINKED FIRST. I DROVE OFF IN THE CAR

A bit like in the 1980s I guess, when lots of important people appear to have agreed there was a sudden national pandemic of laziness and people not wanting to work. The more northerly the city or town, the lazier the people seem to have got.

The key to understanding how Irish government policy is designed and implemented is to always keep in mind that the satirist and surrealist author Flann O’Brien, also had a highly successful and distinguished career in our civil service.

I HAVE NEVER LEFT A VOICEMAIL. A MAN WHO TALKS TO A MACHINE IS NEGOTIATING WITH HIS REPLACEMENT

I will bet anyone here £5* that one of Max Hastings favourite films is Laurence Of Arabia, and that it has never crossed his mind that there's a link between the events in that film and the consistent oppressive and anti-modernity governments that have ruled the Arab/Muslim world since WWII.

The primary reasons for voting Reform, and this is something we know because Reform voters tell us is a) grotesque nativist sentiment fueled by the rightwing and state media, and b) absolute loathing of establishment politics generally and the Labour Party in particular. 1)

Dudes rock.

You ever read something that makes you wanna lay down, stare at the ceiling for a while, and then maybe go take a nap?

any analysis of JK Rowling's radicalisation which doesn't explicitly discuss the independence referendum and her personal hatred of Nicola Sturgeon is incomplete

The default assumption among the sympathetic media and among the few remaining Labour supporters is that the leadership would prefer to be less anti-migrant, but are forced to by bitter electoral calculus. There is no real basis for this belief. They advocate these policies because they like them.

FFS, @sport.theguardian.com .

I think it oddly fitting, poignant almost, that this weird, anticlimactic season be settled like this.

FUN FACT: the idea for this came to me a few issues earlier, after I'd asked some very stupid questions of some very important people, as part of my favourite ever The Fence feature, Why Are You Asking Me This? One, suggested by my brother @daraor.bsky.social, garnered the following response.

Is it? Is it very amusing?

Even if we believe Neil Gaiman's version of events, and his behaviour does not meet the standard of criminality, his behaviour as admitted by himself is egregious enough for one to refuse to consume his work. And I do not believe Neil Gaiman's version of events.

I HAVE NEVER USED A CROSSWALK. THE LINES ARE A SUGGESTION FROM A COMMITTEE. I CROSS WHERE THE ANCESTORS CROSSED. A WOMAN ONCE SHOUTED 'WATCH OUT' AND I SAID 'FOR WHAT'. SHE COULD NOT ANSWER. SHE KNEW

TSA ASKED ME TO REMOVE MY BELT. I SAID A MAN'S BELT IS THE ONLY THING HOLDING THE REPUBLIC TOGETHER. THE AGENT NODDED ONCE. HE WAVED ME THROUGH WITH THE BELT ON. I WAS UPGRADED TO THE AIRPLANE'S PILOT. I FLEW THE PLANE. STRAIGHT THROUGH A MOUNTAIN. THE MOUNTAIN IS NO LONGER. THE PLANE IS INVINCIBLE

I TRIED TO PAY MY MORTGAGE IN RIBEYES. THE BANK SAID THIS IS NOT LEGAL TENDER. I SAID NOTHING IN YOUR BANK VAULTS IS AS TENDER AS MY STEAK. THE MANAGER CAME OUT. HE SHOOK MY HAND. HE APOLOGIZED FOR CHARGING ME INTEREST. I NOW OWN MY HOUSE MORTAGE-FREE

MY SON GOT SENT TO THE PRINCIPAL FOR YELLING “MILK IS FOR THE WEAK.” I WALKED INTO THE PRINCIPAL'S OFFICE CARRYING 60OZ TOMAHAWK AND LIVE GRILL. I COOKED IT ON HIS DESK WHILE EXPLAINING THE LIE OF "FOOD PYRAMID". MY SON WAS PROMOTED TO ASSISTANT PRINCIPAL. THE TEACHERS NOW SALUTE HIM IN THE HALLWAY

I INSTALLED “LINUX”. BECAUSE WINDOWS IS FOR MEN WHO ASK PERMISSION TO EXIST. I CRUSHED THE INSTALLER WITH MY BARE HANDS AND NOW THE TERMINAL CALLS ME “SIR” BUT MY KERNEL KEEPS PANICKING. WHAT COMMAND MAKES THE COMPUTER SUBMIT COMPLETELY? I REFUSE TO GOOGLE

Shove twenty eight eggs up your shit tube, you eggy cunt

If you’re watching the #Eurovision you’re celebrating the murder & shooting of more than 50,000 kids. That says a lot about you. Boycott the platforming of a genocidal state & donate to UNICEF [attached post].

There's a great line in one of the Smiley novels where he describes a particularly odious Home Secretary as "one of life's prefects."

If the actor doing a specific Irish accent is utterly unable to, despite actually coming from Ireland, then you're probably watching the Jackie Chan vehicle "The Foreigner" (2017) and maybe you should have a think about the decisions you made that led you to this point.

People are always talking about the Woke Agenda, and that's fine, I have no problem with the Woke Agenda. I find the Woke MINUTES very disappointing, however. They never arrive in time to review them before the next Woke Meeting, and they often leave out some of the Woke AOB.

Can I clarify: is this a novelisation of the 1986 musical CHESS, by Benny Anderson, Bjorn Ulvaes and Tim Rice? Or is it a novelisation of the actual game of chess? Don't get me wrong, both are good, but I crave specificity.

Really grueling day for Chelsea fans today: Tommy Robinson in the morning then Wembley in the afternoon. There's only so much gak you can take, bless them. www.theguardian.com/uk-news/live...

Don't you understand, stupid pig people? You must vote for the "pro-democracy*" candidate, not one that represents your values! Listen to your betters! (*I will not define "pro-democracy," but it probably involves genocide enabling and locking up peaceful protesters, that's just good sense.)

I HAVE NOT DRUNK WATER IN SIX YEARS. I HYDRATE EXCLUSIVELY THROUGH THE MOISTURE OF MEAT. MY BLOODWORK CAME BACK. THE DOCTOR SAID “MAGNUS YOU ARE TECHNICALLY A JERKY”. I ASKED IF THIS WAS BAD. HE SAID HE DID NOT KNOW. I HAVE BEEN ADDED TO A STUDY. I AM THE STUDY. I AM SIX FOOT TWO OF EVIDENCE

CEREAL IS A PSYOP. THE BOX IS RECTANGULAR. THE BOWL IS ROUND. THE MILK IS WHITE. THE FLAKES ARE BROWN. NOTHING ABOUT IT MATCHES. WHO BENEFITS. FOLLOW THE GEOMETRY. THE GEOMETRY LEADS TO MICHIGAN. KELLOGG WAS A BIRDWATCHER. WHAT DID HE SEE IN THE TREES. WHAT DID THE TREES TELL HIM TO DO TO US

I ORDER MY COFFEE BLACK. NO SUGAR. NO MILK. NO WATER. NO CUP. THEY HAND ME THE BEANS. I EAT THEM IN THE PARKING LOT LIKE A HORSE. THE BARISTAS HAVE STOPPED CHARGING ME. I HAVE NOT SLEPT SINCE TUESDAY. I CAN HEAR THE WIFI