Look, this is actually not as bad as the headline suggests (that a Two Johnnies podcast is added on to the sentence of the must egregious offenders as a form of cruel and unusual punishment.)

I accidentally bought my wife Johnny Metgod instead of Ruud Gullit for our fourth anniversary, and she didn't speak to me for a fortnight. Though the excellent set-pieces were actually quite useful.

Have we ever established whether or not Mr Trump actually knows what "Seeking Asylum" means? And, specifically, that it's different from "Insane Asylum," an archaic and offensive term for in-person psychiatric care, which hasn't been in clinical use for almost half a century?

beck: i got two turntables and a microphone urologist: that's..that's not the common terminology

they're going to keep moving closer to their webcams until something is done

Not from New York, so have no real right to any opinion, but what I like about Mamdani is that he genuinely seems to enjoy running for mayor.

Woodward: (crashing through the door, reading frantically off printer paper) Carl, Greta Thunberg just posted a photograph of herself on Instagram sitting next to a stuffed octopus Bernstein: (taking feet off desk, putting down coffee cup) My god

The GMB crew should be very careful. The last people to ask Alex Davies-Jones difficult questions she couldn't answer got sent down. news.sky.com/story/activi...

[me, a journalist who spends all day every day on a social media app where the discovery algorithm is personally controlled by its owner, captain birdseye] you know, a lot of people are talking about fish fingers, we should probably cover that

Every woman who has ever had a job knows how it feels when you find out that a male colleague has been talking about what it would be like to have sex with you, or imagining the degrading things they would do to you. Depending on your perceived attractiveness this is either presented to you as

I'm not, nor have I ever been, a young woman in the workplace, but I wouldn't be surprised to discover that Ovenden's graphic conversation with a female colleague about her having sex with a Labour MP was NOT ENTIRELY consensual on her part. 1)

At what point does a pattern of behaviour, say: consistent sexualised and racially-charged abuse of women of colour, indicate a cultural problem in an organisation? Asking for a Martin Forde KC...

Bold new prediction: Starmer's gone before Amorim and has left his organisation in a structurally worse position.

I've watched the rest of the press conference, and hoo boy this guy is in trouble, provided he doesn't own a change of clothing, which of course nobody does.

Quoting for alt text:

I'm not a big brain FBI spokesman, but if I was a murder suspect and I heard, for example in a press conference, that the authorities have a shoe impression from the murder suspect, I think I would burn my shoes.

Political violence is bad but me and my mates need to set fire to this hotel because it contains people I don’t know personally but don’t like the idea of. Political violence is bad but I support the right of a country to kill hundreds of thousands of civilians because I’ve deemed them terrorists

I agree with Peter Mandelson. It's inconceivable that an influential paedophile could face consequences in the UK.

"Er, technically it's an EPHEBOPHILE..."

- you clean up that banksy? - sure did, your honour, leaving a perfect, permanent outline, imbuing the work with real fuckin gravitas while making its point better than the artist did himself just like you asked

Maybe the greatest moment in my life was when my then girlfriend (now wife,) who is not Extremely Online, asked me "What even is Mansplaining?" and I got to explain it to her. In a manly fashion.

"Wait a minute, Mean Gene, is that Dame Andrea Jenkyns, Reform Mayor of Greater Lincolnshire's music?" www.theguardian.com/politics/vid...

I'm not really entitled to an opinion on who gets to be Mayor of New York, but I'm intrigued by Cuomo's "Hire The Most Embarrassing Loser You Can Think Of" to run his campaign.

The BBC's apology to Robert Jenrick (for a contributor to Thought For The Day describing his views as "xenophobia,") is looking Sensibler and Sensibler.

Perhaps, one day, schoolkids will study this squalid little chapter in British terror-panic history. When they do, I hope these two headlines from today are printed side by side, with clear annotation of which individual faced more outrage and condemnation.

First John Boyne, now Sally Rooney. Which Irish author will the next "Wait, what? No, seriously, what?" story be about, do we think?

I feel like they're trying to manage the electorate like a CLP, where people are with you or against you. If they're so against you that they leave that's even better! They're no longer even a factor! The country does... not work like that. People being so hacked off they leave the tent is bad.

"If you don't like it you can fuck off, pricks" is not a bad route to take control of the Labour party. But in the electorate at large people don't cease to get a vote just because you've driven them away.

I actually support this stance and actually would go further: this man should NEVER wear a seatbelt, no matter where he is.

It is with great regret that I have to resign as Minister For Not Murdering People. While my murdering was compliant with existing legislation, the media attention is distracting from the Government's Not Murdering People, Well, Not Murdering People As Much As Previously agenda.

Sure, Ring doorbells are a privacy nightmare, but on the plus side they're great for harassing your children's friends while they're waiting for your children to answer the door. So, you know, nuance.

Is it "The English?" I'm going to guess "The English."

Palestinian statehood is not a bargaining chip. It is not a threat. It is an inalienable right of the Palestinian people. Our demands on this shameful government remain the same: end all arms sales to Israel, impose widespread sanctions, and stop the genocide, now.

Can't believe the government just banned The Animals Of Farthing Wood.

Phew! Busy morning as Tim Minchin's new PR guy. Time to pour myself a cold one and check Bluesky for a bit before I schedule tomorrow's round of interviews

I don't listen to voice messages at all.

You think? Mark Vinton: Loyalist’s UVF flag stunt puts reputation of cross-community charity at risk | BelfastTelegraph.co.uk share.google/kBgKCURGNoZ7...

This person is correct. The immensely powerful public figure, and former President of the United States, has not actually been convicted as a result of the over twenty credible on-the-record accusations of sexual assault leveled against him over the last fifty years.

The UK, during the Iraq war. The Fairford Five broke into an RAF based and damaged vehicles and equipment. It delayed military operations. the group responsible were not considered terrorists, and their group was not proscribed. So shut the fuck up, you bootlicking apologist for genocide.

Anxious Sourdough

What perfect albums came out when you were 16?* *No retroactive cool, please. Albums that were in the house that you actively purchased and listened to bsky.app/profile/blue...

This exchange explains exactly why Labour are going to be buried at the next election. Not the specific issue, not the Tories or whoever being particularly strong. It's that Labour come across as condescending, incompetent middle managers. Something most people have had to deal with and hate.

Brownfacing a box of raisins and mocking my surname. Exactly what you’d expect from a right-wing hack who is the daughter of an aristocrat and ex-Tory MP.

Jair Bolsonaro, who I do not support, had every right to try to imprison me, who I also do not support. by Glenn Greenwald

He is so fucking good at this.

Pretty thoroughly depressing to live in a country where big, important institutions — like universities, the BBC, the Labour party — seem only ever to be run by people who seem to really dislike them.

holy shit lmao