Come on man. Don't do that. Don't do that to the baseball. defector.com/mark-vientos...

being horny causes a lot of people to do cool things

This Weeks Editorial Cartoon: Zzzzzzz

if you’re annoying from being too online, you don’t need an alt account to be more annoying from

“Sorry gas prices are sky high and you’ll never own a home — anyway check out these grainy UFO pics!” Cannot overstate how stupid these people think we are.

I wouldn't hold my breath on this one

the dem CIA governor is just accepting defeat? you don't say!

the US is undertaking a military mission called Project Freedom to... protect oil

oh is a horseball happening

they’re saying bluesky is one of the baldest apps of all time

okay, i'll bite - who's taylor swift

i drastically reduced my social media intake when i realized that i don't want to read the stupidest fucking thing i've ever read every day

You’re laughing. Our obese stupid senile pedophile president is trying to barricade himself in his winter palace after sinking the nation into an empire shattering conflict he cannot win and you’re laughing.

boy howdy the mets stink

Jake Mangum spots kid in the crowd, tosses the ball, and her brother catches it and gives it to her. Dudes rock.

googling “voices in my head for real for real”

literally perfect outside rn

my 13 yr old just called me from school to tell me that the other team for today’s softball game had to forfeit because six of their players got suspended for fighting one another

washing over the realization that possibly a lot of people don't know what the pope does with the realization that trump doesn't know what a doctor looks like

one of the things i like about daredevil is that it's comfortable with not trying to be prestige television also, gotta tip my hat to marvel for doing a good prestige show (Wonderman) back to back with DD

my 10-yr-old, in her ninja class, and I, on my laptop, looked up at the same time to make eye contact and wave to each other, and I gotta tell ya, that's one of the best feelings

sorry I have to tap the sign again

We’re gonna have 20 more years of this shit man

RONNY WITH THE WALK OFF 👏

starlite drive-in theater sign, route 10, bay city, michigan, 1988

spotted dec 15, 2009

mfw beinf choked

doing the 6-7 hand gesture on the cross

David Byrne should be tried at the Hague for being a prototype Funky White Boy

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Kissin Whoppie Jr

oh so when the long soft hair of a puppy blows in the wind it’s adorable but when the thinning hair on my balding hair blows in the wind it’s grotesque????

I bought this before we knew elon was honking

this post motivated me to finally get The Onion delivered

Love that we have shows called FBI, CIA, and Doc - we’re getting so close to the entertainment options of Idiocacy

Incredibly funny that the president of the United States can do this and retain command of the American Armed Forces, but I said it about a literal Nazi and got fired from a job writing superhero comics.

Let’s go VCU!!!!!!!

We spent the last couple decades dedicated to erasing the humanities and promoting tech just so we can revere nerds so dumb they can't make a coherent point, congrats everyone

we are getting woke 2, but it won't try to appease the left

Why do I have to pay to watch the same medication ad five times during a movie while the head of the streaming service makes nine figures

chat knows my answer to this is "Philip Morris plant"

Amazon Crooked Penis Logo

*dramatic music swells*

it bares constant repeating: the people who think the government should be run like a business do not understand how fucking stupid and ineffective most businesses, especially enterprise level ones, are

2026 All-Star Jorge Polanco

the pronouns are absolutely going back in the bio

Need wapo to tell me if the gas price voters are bad yet

No one willing to say “Our cause is just”

Having “confidence in… moral strength” is truly a critical trait most people in the US lack