drinking a few cold ones (falling down the stairs again)

‘Seed oil’? How many fucking words for cum do you people need. on God

top of my class at moron college

they labeled my posts crude and shrewd

they put funny worms on my burger

When you haven’t posted in a while and your followers are relieved instead of wondering where you went

tornado came and took my labubu

good thing Scott Adams isn’t alive right now

At some point in time a store promoting their “LOWEST PRICES EVER” was actually correct because prices were never that low ever again

At some point in time a store promoting their “LOWEST PRICES EVER” was actually correct because prices were never that low ever again

Like if your watching on youtube rn

live on poop.tv

the worst post but double it and give it to the next poster

a small truck for a smol bean

the mystery of the empty fridge

doing a goofy dance in my very serious pants (it’s a crime)

Dolly Parton wrote a sequel to her song “Jolene.” It’s called “Jostand”

i will eet the spaghettis

perched onnthe porch

dirty chicken man or woman

rainbow peanut butter for the gays

cashews in the airpods case again

laughing at the kumquats

buying flowers? for your partner? on valentines day ?? instead of growing them yourself!? ok, you capitalist hog’!!

I’m always gonna assume you disagree with me — it’s the trauma

I’m really good at misinterpreting communication though text, it’s no wonder I’m such a hit on here! /s

People from other countries: “Why are people in the United States so litigious?” people in the United States:

They need to start banning people who bring those fake babies to Disneyland

tater tot recall?! on Valentine s weekend?!

so what Vince Neil doesn’t know the words to Dr. Feelgood, do YOU??!!

so what Vince Neil doesn’t know the words to Dr. Feelgood, do YOU??!!

If my kid had a speech impediment I would constantly ask why they talk like that

🎶 the cum police the live inside of my head the cum police they cum to me in my bed the cum police they’re cumming to arrest me, oh no 🎶

dalai lama in the files? well suck my tongue

Hawk it Tuah me?!

Rosencrantz and Guildenstern are Still Dead

#GnomonTV "The Adventures of Bees Lightyear" Nicolas Cage, Tim Allen Directors: Neil LaBute and Jordan Cole Science fiction comedy horror fantasy film. youtube.com/watch?v=xHGn... youtube.com/watch?v=Ptvm... gnomonchronicles.com/wiki/The_Adv...

Super Bowl but it’s full of bees and everyone would be like “aaah the bees”

Why am I never in the grocery store when the old person drives their car full speed into the front door?

lots of people jumping on the bandwagon* *my lifeless body

they’re doing this to me later (gunshot to face)

Just know if you use ai you immediately get locked in a room with Richard Simmons

IT, IS TIME ‼️