Celebrities don’t like when you ask them to sign your gun

this and a few beers

Me: I wish more people would see my posts. *more people see my posts* Me: Oh no.

A stiff drink? Buddy, when it's solid it's a food.

They penalized me at the bowling alley because my dick was over the line

this and a few beers

this man is not real but an ai generated abomination dwelling in the murderous uncanny valley

BUTTER CONE Cone with the butter on it

Uncle Gary’s hosting Thanksgiving this year and I just know he’s gonna make us listen to his barbershop quartet again. They only know Barbara Ann, then they spend the rest of the time giving each other haircuts

guy who invented IPAs just didn’t actually like beer and decided to make it everyone’s problem

A. I. stands for AINT INTERESTED !

“Hamburger, uh, finds a helper”

The robot brothels are nigh

I hate fabric shower curtains “Ah yes let me bathe but first put up a bedsheet that will get soaking wet no matter what”

The American educational system is failing. The signs are everywhere.

there we go

Truck nuts but for your casket

Don’t show me a video of your baby’s first steps, I know that shit is A. I.

I’m not giving my baby eyeglasses BITCH I AINT RAISE NO NERD

I’m so annoying on Instagram my entire family unfollowed me

sitting in a normal chair again

Birth certificate?! Um it’s 2025 you need a birth QR CODE

Posted up

I believe in Joe Hendry

Me: My relationship with mind altering substances is completely healthy. Also me:

Chudler found dead at local Hardee’s

Babe what's wrong you barely touched your chudler?

chudler i barely know her

chudler? hardly know her

Chudler? I hardly know her!

drunk on that muskrat juice

whenever you hear a record scratch in a movie the whole picture should just end, right then and there

I DO NOT CONSENT TO FOR USING ROUNDUP WEED KILLER KILLING MY GRASS AND LAWN. THIS EXACT MESSAGE IS THE ONLY ONE BEING TRACKED BY MONSANTO

grundle in the jungle

I hate fabric shower curtains “Ah yes let me bathe but first put up a bedsheet that will get soaking wet no matter what”

Denied entry to heaven due to my “fugly haircut”

new Tame Impala album is very good in case you were wondering

My most boomer take is that people need to stop adding syrups and shit to their soda pops. Just put some alcohol in it like the rest of us

They are FINALLY making a sequel to Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid where he goes even more nutzoid