Few can summon the courage to nurture my buddy Ben from their own bosom

sometimes I like to pretend the pretty ladies at work think me handsome - and whoa boy - what a rush

People don't want to hear this but screw worm infected beef is delicious. The parasites are the quickest way to flavor town, believe that

never be ashamed of the fluids that ooze from your body

Was there a homoerotic Kung Fu movie called "Cum of the Dragon" or am I making that up just now for shit posting purposes?

Hey man did you ever get that pleasure raven I sent ya?

Large throbbing lendickular cloud formation. Totally Freaking Erect Bro. Aching with atmospheric desire.

My buddy Jeff got locked up for putting other people's kids into a burlap sack. Most people accept that he was krampusmaxxing but the cops sure don't.

1 in 4 Americans suffer from "giddy anus"

Your appointment with The Spectre is today at 10:00, text C to confirm.

Humbled! By workplace diarrhea

Happy pill bug Sunday to those that celebrate

before the ai bubble bursts and our economy implodes and the time of woe and famine decends upon us i want you to know i love your shitposts, playboy

He doesn't know how to be spooky

Peeing while you poop is a cowardly act and an affront to the Crap God.

Hey man swing by later tonight, we're all gonna go gnaw on the carcass

bad news buddy, they're making you fight in the Pervert Dome tomorrow

My boy is not excited about fall. My mans is meh about autumn.

Management is demanding we milk Brad from IT today. We are way behind on this project and we need his precious juices. Not a Brad fan but this decision feels rushed.

online i come across as a humble jamoke but i need you to know that in real life i'm actually a yearning simpleton

I know my house plants be bickering, that peace lily is just too cunty with it

My buddy Ben made an abacus using human teeth. I forgot to ask where he got the teeth - as I was just so impressed by the arithmetic operations of the device.

Steel yourselves, gentlemen, for tomorrow we don the Ass Hat.

Caught a blistering skin infection and a vicious fungus from swimming in the slough - so yeah this summer was a success

you ever look into the forest and know for a fact Predator is watching you?

In high school I was reading a lot of Hemingway which inspired me to write "poop falls slowly from the butt" on the bathroom wall. It was likely the best post of my life.

a social media app is a great place for like-minded people to gather and feel anxious together

When experiencing extreme emotional distress a quirked up white boy may only be able to communicate in Deftones lyrics.

inhaling particulates is perfectly fine. some of us actually thrive on lunge sludge ok

Brother, you need to make Ham a priority.

Happy sinister thursday to those that celebrate

I studied at the Institute Le Urine under the instruction of the renowned Professor John Peepee, so ya, pal, I know how to take a freakin' whizz

The Grand Dummy thinks you might have what it takes to excel in the Order of the Jamoke. He cordially invites you to our temple's Chump Day this weekend.

This owl just let me get super close, looked me right in the eyes and quietly - purposefully - whispered, "you're a cunt."

We found Craig from IT eating handfuls of soil in the break room again. Management won't do anything though. He is a protected class - too mineral-rich to touch.

my henchmen are plotting. the air is filled with mutiny and dander

I went to the Erotic Grocery on the liberal side of town and they had an entire isle dedicated to celery, the least sensual member of the allium family, smdh

We appreciate the abundance (of slime) we enjoy this summer offering (of fetid ooze)

birb update - the Brood Rises

the Creatures are Emerging 😬

It's hard out here for a pimp

My neighbor sent me this pic - the great horned owlet is being fed a steady diet - of baby ducks... damn nature why you so mean 😔 why you gotta be this way 😭

For some people the human butt is a kind of treasure. A fleshy, precious substance.

Well 2 more chickens died of spring whimsy, and brother Cecil has a terrible case of Moon Penis, but Pa reckons we'll make it through to the next harvest 'cause his plums have the tickle. Which he takes as the surest sign of providence but could well be the cancer come back.

women over 25 only want one thing - rare earth minerals

The steller's Jay chicks continue to thrive. One day they will be like their parents - loud, obnoxious - downright wicked and unlikable ✨️

found a map behind the local Arby's that shows the path to the Pervert Hut... 🤔

Pretty sure that if we sliced you open you'd be filled with tasty seeds, like a pomegranate, not reeking nasty guts. Fairly confident about this.

This world has me confused - downright befuddled

Honestly I'm not even that big of a pervert I just enjoy leering