Gift link: www.wsj.com/us-news/ruby...

The future is real things, tactile things that make sense on the scale of individual human beings. That’s where it’s all heading—you heard it here first.

I thought Chris’s book was beautiful.

I can't believe it's been 18 years (!!) since the Slate Culture Gabfest started. Thanks to @thehighsign.bsky.social @juliaturner.bsky.social and Stephen Metcalf for having so many thoughtful, funny, insightful conversations and letting us listen in!

Next A24 indie horror: “Lobster Intern”

Been emailing with Alice, who definitely is not AI (I asked,) loved my book SERIOUS FACE and had a genuinely insightful take on how it might reach a bigger audience. Alice wanted to sell me her various marketing services, which I kept declining. Eventually, 🧵

Extremely real stuff here

Been emailing with Alice, who definitely is not AI (I asked,) loved my book SERIOUS FACE and had a genuinely insightful take on how it might reach a bigger audience. Alice wanted to sell me her various marketing services, which I kept declining. Eventually, 🧵

Billy Joel anthem about a deckhand missing his wife and baby, bottlenecked at the Strait of Hormuz.

We should bring this back. Imagine the unusual but uncomplicated pleasure. Nowadays we only drop messages from aircraft to say we’re about to blow you up.

This is a moon of Saturn and proof that there is no god

Writing is a craft that many dead people would have loved to learn and instead of making a society where everyone can learn we made a button that means no one will learn

Anyone knows why I wrote SHAPES, PICTURES on my to-do list? (This is also a haiku.)

people used to believe taking a photograph stole a piece of the subject's soul and maybe they were onto something and we should have listened.

idk why everyone is complaining, i think it's cool that they are building the ship from CONTACT (1997) on the white house lawn. the liberal media says it won't work again but they are IGNORING that approximately 18 hours of static was recorded on that fateful day. explain THAT

I think about this and want to invoke it every day since the day I heard it

I do not think posting is healthy for me.

A eulogy for this whole era

Bainbridge Island's "Scotch-Broom Parade," a whimsical guerilla-style event where the Kiwanis Club selects a "Scotch-Broom Queen" and puts her in a classic car to lead a spontaneous, sardonic parade down Winslow Way celebrating the invasive weed is in fact bad because it further scatters the seeds!

You all getting these? Not seeing too many hearts...

I thought the Pied Piper was a jovial, benevolent guy: funny-looking hat, cheery little flute, like a birthday party entertainer. In fact he was a disgruntled freelance rat-catcher who ensorcelled and abducted all the town's children because the mayor didn't pay his invoice. Now I like him more.

Now, more than ever, is the time to rename the Williamsburg Bridge the Sonny Rollins Bridge.

Catch me and @jmooallem.bsky.social in Seattle this Thursday!

I’m deleting my post about AI-powered macaroni and cheese.

In 1986, before a game at Exhibition Stadium in Toronto, I got Royals reliever Dan Quisenberry’s autograph on a torn off square of notebook paper. It was right before the All-Star break and someone asked him what he was doing for the break. Dan Quisenberry said, “A little hunting.” #MyMemoir

I am reposting the Jonny Bench. I made two more Jonny Benches today. These Jonny Benches aren't going to sell themselves.

“Our concern is whether we can live with dignity in such a system, whether it serves people rather than people serving it.” ~ Václav Havel (1936-2011) #Illustration, Jon Klassen, ‘The Dark,’ 2013.

Emanuel Swedenborg’s conception of hell sounds like social media. (Quoted in @isaacfitzgerald.bsky.social AMERICAN RAMBLER.)

Introducing: The Jonny Bench “A refined take on an American classic” - The New Yorker “Uncompromising in its construction, tender where it counts” - Gary Shteyngart “[Mooallem] has ‘put the screws’ to critics who insist a bench mustn’t infuse tradition with whimsy” - Vancouver Review of Benches

One of those things the Internet loves explaining.

You’ll never guess how many wolves are inside me.

These are the apricots George Harrison wrote “All Things Must Pass” about.

There was a time when people in the background of live television spots screamed “Hi, Mom!” because this was before cell phones and it was difficult to reach one’s mom.

hey john. its your cousin marvin. marvin cage! you know that new sound youve been looking for? well listen to this *hangs up phone*

the mangoes are not ok

I Drink Your Milkshake, 2026

Every year my husband takes my son to the thrift store and lets him pick whatever he thinks I need for Mother’s Day, which this year is a straw hat and book of sea shanties

“I fucking mean it everyday.” - Bruce Hornsby #BestBruce

On Mother's Day, a reminder that the oldest "Your mother" joke is from the Talmud. (Megillah 25b:9)

Do people still bother spitting out watermelon seeds? Or is that something our parents did?

I’ll be releasing my Mother’s Day statement shortly.

these look delicious

Yeah I mean *now*

For Billy Joel’s birthday, I’m re-upping @fluxblog.bsky.social’s 🎯 tweet.

spotting the 4-pack key lime Chobani in the back of the fridge

threesome photos at 6:08 am on New Year's Day, absolute legends