This how I find out I have a son??

40 years ago we’d have congressional hearings falsely accusing metal bands of putting backwards messages in their songs that told kids to kill themselves & now we have a planet-killing chatbot that’s all like “bet you won’t commit suicide chickenshit bitch” & the government is like here’s $5 billion

if you are food insecure for both the humans and pets in your household there is a tool called Pet Help Finder that can help locate pet food banks nearby and other free or reduced price assistance and supplies for pets. no one, ABSOLUTELY NO ONE, should have to give up their pet bc of this.

Everything sucks so here is my dog eating ramen. 🍜

footage of @papanocturnal.bsky.social after i've announced i've found 216 hours of "how it's made" on youtube

:B

Happy #N7Day from your favorite space marine himbo! #MassEffect #N7 #Gaymer

99¢ shot of vodka and a bottle of squirt for lunch, and up until 3 seconds ago i was able to say that with a straight face

i think drax temporarily intercepted the one orange cat brain cell that was intended for his friend there

Imagine this beautiful scene…❤️ If just 40 hearts each gave $30, our journey would be complete and a new chapter of our life would begin Samar and I are waiting for 40 amazing souls who believe in goodness and new beginnings so who will be the first to open the door with us? ✨ @mommunism.bsky.social

oh my god my roommate got his SNAP deposit today, and we have a pending for tomorrow oh my god oh thank fuck

Happy 265th Birthday to the forever iconic and forever dramatic Lestat de Lioncourt! 💚 And thank you to Sam Reid for his breathtaking performance!

god i wish that was me

I haven't shared this in a while, but it seems on topic right now.

12 angry men but its just Henry Fonda throwing sandwiches at people to disprove the testimony

fffffuck yyyyeaaah coelacanth!!!

hall monitor ass behavior. pathetic

yoshi-p holding back the ai slop like minfilia and the flood of light

This is Lukas. It's his first time swimming. He's kinda nervous, but we think he's doing a great job. 13/10 (TT: lukassss707)

maaaaaaaan, my boy bernini catching strays with his questionable sculpture subject matter again (they say, to distract the brain meat from calcifying the idea of hunting conservatives for sport and self-preservation)

i'm just a badger standing around waiting for my 100 pound dog to drop a deuce so i can go the hell back inside. literally shitposting at this point.

man the weirdos really aren't reacting well to mamdani's win are they (cloud tag style grouping will never not do funny shit to my brain)

i live *in the desert* of southern california and my electric bill pushes close to 600$ in the summer. imagine what just the roof of my apartment complex's car park could do if it were covered in panels instead of improperly-fastened aluminum sheets that shear off in a stiff wind

my favorite species to play in a ttrpg is orcs. the 1st couples dynamic @papanocturnal.bsky.social subjected our group to was my orc/his catfolk. i have 9 orcs in wow. so it's extremely funny to me that my favorite character so far in critical role c4 is the dweeby human necromancer.

they're flushing it down the toilet when even a fraction of the smallest amount listed would radically change the rest of my life for the better

vodka and cherry 7-up, lesssssgoooooooooooooo

my plan to fix TV: every show now has their own dance squad, like In Living Color did

prick season! bastard season! prick season! bastard season! PRICK SEASON -- FIRE!

me to others: it's hard right now. be gentle with yourself me to me: wtf is wrong with you

If I may propose an alternate?

the steven millerification of jonathan greenblatt this shit really does rot you from the inside out

love the implication that quiz shows are supposed to be women-only/women-inclusive here, graham has mock the week gotten the notice, you think?

here ya go

got a chill and went "bbrrrr!", which i guess was the queue for the universe to help me out with my thermal problem by sending me a full-body shudder that sloshed hot coffee all down my front. not cold anymore, at least!

this is a reminder that we dont have to settle for newsom in 2028

it's extremely adorable how many quote skeets are calling him raha

Extremely desperate for help, please help if you can

people on tumblr are joking that no one's sufficiently celebrating cheney's death and i'm like ... honestly? he was 84. died with a shitload of money and 0 consequences for anything. the guy *he shot* had to apologize. his family was getting rehabbed by democrats.

"Sphene, get out of my laboratory!" 💢 #azulityart ✦ #ffxivsfw ✦ #dawntrail ✦ #sphene ✦ #calyx

this is how you derail a session for 35 minutes where people are debating the aerodynamics vs structure of how to wrap it, "has anyone tried using swedish meatballs as bird shot?" and you didn't say anything about using spicy mustard before you called the shot, so it's regular yellow, sorry bud

Never to be outdone, Vigo the Carpathian has endorsed Andrew Cuomo (while also hinting at a potential role in Cuomo’s administration as the head of the Department of Environmental Protection)

imagining this "ripped from the headlines" episode of peak 90s law & order and wondering what wires i gotta fuck with at cern to make that timeline happen

i desperately need people to start laughing at them when they say shit like this instead of reporting on it like it's some sort of legitimate thing to say this is a 4 year old threatening to withhold night-night kisses if mommy makes him eat his peas

Low key love it when people pretend really hard that WoW is a medieval fantasy when they’ve got trains and plasma rifles also

took me a minute to remember that cheney *wasn't* the "bomb iran"/"barbara-ann" old white republican ghoul, which is a great metric for american politics