Pablo Larraín sets aside Jackie Kennedy and Princess Di to focus his attention on a much more intriguing subject: how Chilean strongman Augusto Pinochet was a vampire. A cautionary tale for any public servants out there who maybe don’t want to be remembered by history as literal monsters.

This is notable as a zombie film where there are so many little pieces of satire to squeeze in that the zombie part feels like almost an afterthought. Still, I’m pretty sure the zombies are in the right, so you can’t say the filmmakers didn’t take a stance.

Things I expect this idiot administration to announce before 2025 is over: - Pearl Milling Co. is ordered to restore the name of Aunt Jemina - Tomatoes are from the deadly nightshade family, and no one must eat them - US embassy in China being moved from Beijing back to its original home in Peking

Really loving the new Duolingo mechanic wherein you get punished for right answers. Savvy. Real motivator to continue. Enjoy that sweet Woodoku ad money, guys.

You know, you write a review hoping to reference the unsettling trend toward censorship and authoritarianism as reflected in the arts, and then the despot goes and makes things even worse prior to publication. So just know that while I’d love to take credit for my insight, fascism is just too fast.

@suboptimaldad.gobirds.online It appears that your better half has locked in promotion to League Two. Hearty congrats to the whole clan! Meanwhile, over here desperately trying to keep my head above water…

The phone number for the Walt Disney Company is (818) 560-1000. The complaint line for Disney shareholders is (855) 553-4763. To contact ABC about their programming, call (818) 460-7477. These are just fun phone numbers to have around. I’m sure they’d love to shoot the breeze with you.

Is this the greatest turntable-scratching animated golden-age sci-fi adventure about intergalactic dentists who battle worm-infested babies to protect the fundamentals of hip hop? You know, I think it might just be.

No one’s doing particularly well these days, but certainly not the kids. SNORKELING is sympathetic and occasionally insightful look at the disconnection and despair that teens are feeling. (Although you may be surprised to learn that drugs are not great. It’s true!)

If you’re going to take on the moniker ”M dot Strange,” you’d better be prepared to live up to the immense expectations that carries. My friends, that bar has been cleared, and I’m pleased to offer two Apocrypha in a row with this animated stew of madness. Say it with me: “I live. I hunger.”

A genuine honor to write the entry that inducts this epic of sweet, fun-loving insanity into the Apocrypha. Michelle Yeoh at her best, spectacular editing, and a solid answer to the question of what to do when you have more ideas than you know what to do with: use ‘em all!

@suboptimaldad.gobirds.online I shall be glad to get our direct confrontation out of the way early, so I won’t spend the next few weeks dreading its arrival.

Calamari is a delightful appetizer. So delicious, apparently, that two different weird features would call it out in their titles. Does this presage a run of edamame-themed films? Only time will tell.

For anyone out there who is interested in learning about how red-hatted pretty people could hoodwink an entire society into abandoning their humanity and supporting fascism by scapegoating scientists… the original “V” miniseries is streaming on Plex. l.plex.tv/M6pGHg8

This movie is a strong endorsement for second chances. First time watching, can’t get past how amateurish the whole thing is. Second time around, the film’s plucky spirit starts to shine through. It’s still not very good, but it’s got real charm in it, and that’s the headline.

Me and Jim Lovell, 7 years ago on my birthday. (NOT why he was there.) We hosted the entire Apollo 8 crew that year. And now they’re all gone. I have few true heroes. He was one.

@suboptimaldad.gobirds.online Why did you never mention the looming presence of Erma Bombeck across the Dayton campus?

If you’ve ever wondered what Charlie Kaufman’s take on the lingering effects of the fall of communism in former Eastern block countries would be, well, here’s a pretty solid guess.

So, yes, this is a movie about a woman who is treated spectacularly badly, but it all turns out okay because she (checks notes) kills everybody. That’s justice for ya, Swedish-style.

To thee we sing with our glasses raised on high.

Melanie joins the proud tradition of English orphans who find that their new home is a hotspot for strangeness and possibly supernaturals goings-on. And here, the mysterious force is… puppets. So when it comes to “magic,” YMMV.

“Who’s the cat who preaches safety but may be putting children in considerably more danger as the result of his unsanctioned advice?” “COOL!” “Yeah, that Cool Cat is one bad mother—“ “Shut your mouth.” “No, I don’t think you understand. He’s really quite bad.” “We can dig it.” “No! No, you can’t!”

In case you were wondering if financial woes, terminal illness, and mental instability can wreak havoc on a family, here comes a film to answer with a definitive “yes.” Excellent performances, but definitely not bringing any uplift to the party.

“The Omega Glory” is a terrible episode of Star Trek, but Kirk defending the U. S. Constitution against those who would weapon one it against the people was the perfect message for this particular July 4th.

I don’t know if this is the first movie ever to be filmed in Beveled-Mirror-Vision, but it’s certainly the first one on my list. Also checked off for me: child under threat from wild livestock, very awkward cuckolding at French-surrealist-themed sex club, DIY skull removal.

Will the movie be short? Will I feel unsettled? Will the presence of Garrison Keillor add to the discomfort? Will this connect to other movies that explore the connections between old images and new problems? Will the reader-suggested queue still be shockingly long at the end of this review?

Another Sunday post, and what could be more appropriate than this tale of the spawn of Satan and Lucy Westenra terrorizing a Mexican convent. Remember: never let the kids play in the forest with a demonic goat man.

It’s a rare Sunday visit to the Weirdoplex with my old pal Fruit Chan. Questions that are NOT answered in my review: (1) Which of Pizza’s internet novels should be adapted next? (2) If this is the Chinese “Lost”, then who is Hurley? (3) Did David Bowie have to sign off personally on use of his song?

@kirkhamilton.com Kirk, I wondered if, during your research, you came across this clip of Stephen Sondheim and Marian McPartland discussing the intricacies of “All The Things You Are.” youtu.be/VpYWY8UNA7M?...

Felix the Cat The wonderful, wonderful cat Whenever he gets in a fix He reaches into his bag of tricks Felix the Cat The wonderful, wonderful cat You’ll laugh so hard Your sides will ache Your heart will go pitter-pat Watching Felix the Wonderful Cat But not so much his movie.

Well, this is promising.

@suboptimaldad.gobirds.online Top 6 in the top Rundle? You are holding your own nicely, sir. Hope the momentum stays strong in the second half.

An ugly story about an ugly crime, with Keri Russell thrown in the mix in an BBC effort to make the whole scheme a little less ugly. (Side note: the English title is meaningless. I guess the crime was German and the Grimms were German, but it’s pure pandering. I see what you did, marketing team.)

There’s something almost admirable about a film that goes to great lengths to set up a plot and then immediately jettisons it in favor of meeting lots of offbeat people. It’s a stunt, and nobody stunts like Luc Besson. Catch him here still coming into his own. (Plus cool Isabelle Adjani outfits.)

This contest is for the real fans... nominate a current List Candidate to be elevated to Apocryphally Weird status, win a hardcover copy of Vol. 1 of the 366 Weird Movies Guide. (Vol. 2 is expected to be available in June). 366weirdmovies.com/nominate-apo...

Time to enshrine another classic weird movie, and this time we’ve got alien abductions, Catholic guilt, rampaging Andy Kaufman, a bunch of classic New York guys, and so much virgin birth. Thank you, Larry Cohen, for putting it all in one big stew.

@suboptimaldad.gobirds.online Good luck on your debut in the Premier League. My advice: everyone in A is really good, so just play your game and remember that it’s a long season. (Helpful, yeah?)

Once again, I quietly put my dream of “Pope Sixtus VI” back up on the shelf, hoping to dust it off in a decade or so.

This is the movie that reveals the ugly truth about how far I’m willing to go to review a movie: I did NOT read “Gravity’s Rainbow” in order to confirm how much the film borrows. I know, and I’m sorry.

😢

This movie has been sitting in the reader-suggested queue for years, just taunting us with its provocative title. I finally got to see it, and while it gets nowhere near the hype, it was definitely an interesting journey to learn how it came to be.

If you’ve ever wanted to see me do battle with my 366 colleagues (as well as, curiously enough, the letter S), well, my friend, your time has come. Long live Rare Genres!

Jack Palance. Martin Landau. Oscar glory lay ahead for these movie legends, but first, they had to chew the scenery in this movie about flying killer silver dollar pancakes.

Totally missed that @sfgiants.com had joined the Bluesky party a month ago. Happy to give them a follow. That’s now 5 MLB teams posting regularly over here. (Representing 5 of the 6 divisions, even.) Hey, other 25 teams: whatcha waiting for? Get on over here.

Someone somewhere decided that what the world needed was a filmed biography of a pop star who is almost unknown in America, and further concluded that the best way to sell this story was to place a mo-cap chimpanzee in the starring role. And I am here to say: good call.

Murder? Mayhem? Drunkenness, hostage-taking, and battles with crime lords? Sounds like someone’s got a case of the Mondays. Let Sabu take you on a journey through “The Hangover: Worst Case Scenario.”

TOP SECRET! is on Pluto. Damn right, I watched it. Val Kilmer debuts in fine form. Straighten that rug!

Once again, I have the privilege of enshrining another film in the Weird Movie Pantheon. This time, step into the fitting room for the tale of a demonic dress and the truly demented department store that has it on clearance. Hint: don’t loiter near the mannequins.

I’m hearing that, following the Wisconsin result, Musk is filing an appeal with the North Carolina Supreme Court.