selling poppers/elfbars/protein bars at the munich security conference, dm for details

refuse to use copilot for clinical reasons at work, instead asking it things like "would a quadruple fried chip be a flavour explosion?"

the goonsday clock edges 1 second closer to midnight ....

a high fever will have you saying things like "heated rivalry starring paracetamol and ibuprofen"

what the hell, sure

not his body keeping the score ....

pigs in blankets, porridge with oat milk, dipping hummus chips in hummus ..... all testament to mans sick mind and mastery of produce ......

Might get inspired by the rich texture of fine velvets later.

yall mind if I spike my blood sugar before bed?

diarrheo (diarrhea for boys)

hey man. me and a few of the guys were thinking about attempting the transition from seasonal foraging to early sedentary city-state status later if you're down ?

incredible scenes at the Euston urinals - dozens of men holding hands and chanting "Put your phone away and have a proper piss"

im at the festival of arts and ideas laying out the progressive case for littering

the sturdy and proud garden pea ... the mercurial and preening petit pois .... oh to be a fly on the wall of the freezer for their conversations!

no evidence base but I strongly believe a diet rich in vinegar allows your body to better harness the power of lunar cycles / tides

if elected as a metro mayor i would rule like it like a central european prinicipality ..... at the end of my term the electorate could judge me on my alliances, skirmishes with neighbours and how many exclaves i have won

if james bond was an urban young professional his gadgets would probably be a lost mary thats actually a gun, invisibilty birkenstocks and a jar of kimchi that irreversibly damages your gut microbiome .....

my own private lincolnshire

responding to a council planning consultation under the username The_Soulful_Placemaker

committing sepukku in the exam hall for dishonouring my family and medical school for not knowing the third line management of gout in patients with poorly controlled asthma

Go beast mode, if you must—but a beast of kindness, of understanding, of compassion.

Engaging in dialogue with all stakeholders is what gets me through the day. I like to think of myself as a vast, safe harbour, and of them as little boats. If a stakeholder told me they didn't feel listened to, I think I'd have to go to hospital.

"Flying Ant Day" is the title of my widely panned, rooneyesque debut novel

met office forecast for me please mate, none of that dutch meteo group muck

Melvyn Bragg voice: Hello, The Elf Bar was invented in Shenzen, China in 2017 and it soon became synonymous with the disposable vape craze that swept British cities in the early 2020's. Joining me to discuss the rise and fall of the disposable vape is Prof. Adam Higgins of Nottingham University...

when peanut butter clogs up your mouth i suddenly understand how augustus gloop must have felt in the last moments of his short life

my corbyn chemsex hell walked so heated rivalry could run

hey man, me and the boys were thinking of transitioning to a prosperous, multi party democracy this weekend if you were keen?

when its two men ...thats heated rivalry ... and three women? thats haim

Large Moon Of Health.. Crazy What It Done To My Wellnesses. Love That.

heated rivalry but its set in the inately homoerotic world of pro snooker

I love eating unsoaked chia seeds but they swell up inside my stomach and leave me feeling like a beanie baby

mural of children grabbing at a big jar of leeches at my local pharmacy

aged 10 i vomited directly onto one of the charming lesbians featured in this week's guardian blind date

garlic bread used to mean a baguette ... its all bloody flatbreads now 😒

if you have a distressing, intense or strangely psychosexual dream you should be allowed to go to A&E in the morning

thank you google AI for suggesting a clip of jessi j performing at jools hollands hootenanny. this is exactly what I was hoping to see as I try to access my online banking

When I'm in my 90's I'm gonna take a knock off Labubu I got in TK maxx on the repair shop

the marketing team at "the bold bean co" after i finally buy one of their jars of beans after 5 years of incessant advertising towards me

goodbye lenin style operation to convince an entrepreneur who has woken up from a coma that his 2011 business (the urban sandwich company) is still solvent

(guy with slightly outdated cultural indicators): typical islington elite drinking costa and eating wraps 🤣🤣

fontaines dc jukebox musical but the plot is the same as mamma mia

me and the boys are going to head down to the imperial metropole on friday if you're keen?

"kill your darlings"? ummmm not sure why i'd do that, theyre literally my darlings lol

dictating a whatsapp message via my wireless headphones to a friend commenting on the frozen sewage leak on the road outside his block of flats

for sale, 30-40 baby thermometers, never used

entering lidl on a sunday 30 mins before closing time with a childlike sense of play

Japanese copywriting still reigns supreme

explaining how parkrun barcodes work to my boyfriend ASMR

lets just say ..... a new pope wasnt on my 2025 bingo card