he’s not eating he’s spending all his per diem on pouches

[pat benatar voice]: oceans are battlefields

[santa claus voice]: call me ishmael

“The notion that we must spend our time in endless debate with unconvinceable people is designed to rob us of our time and energy. The notion that we need to work out the redemption of people who have shown no interest in redemptive work is a narcissistic enablement.”

I don't need to buy a Rolex. I just look at their ads and figure out what time it is for free.

this is how you know you’re at the Bad Target.

the hippies on Mad Men are styled like Klingons from ToS

found a dried-up minion in my storm gutter

one nice thing about being bald is that, after haircuts, the barber gives me a nice little kiss on top of my head

of all the words I’ve only ever seen in books, “espadrille” is the most

a mere drop in the ocean of similarities between The Sopranos and Æon Flux

happy birthday Isabella Rossellini

A friend sent an image from Europe of a remarkable Hockney painting I had never seen before: David Hockney, "Still Life on a Glass Table," 1971

“You there, boy! What day is it?” “Today? Sir, why, it’s Disclosure Day!”

tfw this is what you mean

these are getting weird

people in found footage horror are all like “ohmygod” and “whatwhasthat”

“so what’s your take?” “the city of New York must pay me $1 million cash in the next hour and I will kill one person for every minute they are late” “100% disagree”

Heard Steven Spielberg causal say the sentence “every weekend some other directors and I paint models at Guillermo del Toro’s house” on a podcast this morning and it’s all I’ve been able to think about for the rest of the day.

“The kids want liminal spaces!”

And hiding on the backrooms Hiding on the backrooms With a love so hard and filled with defeat Running for our lives at night on them backrooms

I’m gonna say something spicy and it’s gonna make some of you mad: we should turn on the Torment Nexus 😏

board game guys never wanna play battleship

my gf works corporate and is on a training about AI and there's a word cloud for "what do you use AI for." the largest word by far is "Nothing" and the trainer is PISSED

[to the tune of Walking on a Dream]:

Rear Window but he has a space telescope and witnesses alien murder

Grogu’s family has announced he has passed away. “He was probably like 56 years old, which is like a baby age for little freaks like him,” his mother told the Times. He will be flushed down a special toilet with an extra wide pipe designed for Yoda disposal. “Like a big green turd,” she added

Guy with visible stink lines: the birth rate,

I did it for me. I liked Pop Corners. I was good at making Pop Corners. And… I was really… I was alive.

16 May 2026

smorgasborgnine

uncles giving gifts are like “here’s a beautiful piece of ceramic art from my town and an axe to keep in your car in case it fills with water”

“You there, boy! What day is it?” “Today? Sir, why, it’s Disclosure Day!”

Everyone talks shit about Disclosure Day until it's here!

FISH COP: do you know why I pulled you under

the new Strokes song sounds like the driver selection screen for a kart game (complimentary)

hockey sock

why are ai folks so bent about me hating it. fine, i'll fall behind! let me!!! fuck off!!!!

in Death Stranding you’ll deliver 40kg of model trains to some guy named The Barber and he’ll be like “that’s great Sam here I made your shotgun deadlier”

in Death Stranding you’ll deliver 40kg of model trains to some guy named The Barber and he’ll be like “that’s great Sam here I made your shotgun deadlier”

commercials are like “things have been getting a *little* crazy at *this* burger restaurant”

just passed a cybertruck with no fewer than four fedoras on the dash

[to the tune of Elliott Smith’s “Needle in the Hay”]: Groove is in the heart Groove is in the heart Groove is in the heart Groove is in the heart

i would like to dunk the basquiatball

i would like to dunk the basquiatball