This is basically flipping your cards over, seeing you have the better hand, and asking your opponent whether they’d like you to fold

It’s actually feminist to turn women into second class citizens using the law, you guys

Median Republican

“star”

I think we’ve all had three enchiladas at lunch and then tried to stay awake through a completely pointless afternoon meeting when what we really want to be doing is taking food out of the mouths of tens of millions of American children

Mixology meets crop engineering, we will never see heaven

Oh did they “blast” the CBP chief? They “blasted him”? Cool* *impotent and meaningless

people hate hearing this but it's 100% true, creating a huge pay gap between political leaders, their staffs, and other elites is a recipe for corruption. of course the flip side of that is taxes on the rich should be jacked way the hell up

The Mayor of New York only makes $260k. I bet there are police that make more than that in NY with overtime. We need to pay elected leaders more money and stop pretending it's some sort of calling. They're managing hundreds of billions of dollars in investments and millions of people's lives.

Can confirm that a parent who is so utterly brain poisoned that they feel the need to dunk on my kids’ classmates is not someone I’m going to allow into my social circle, these people are legitimately awful human beings

Nuremburg trials is the moderate position

Most corrupt administration in history by an order of magnitude or two

Ivy Leaguers: stop trying to reinvent racism. Challenge level: impossible.

I would love to know the specific physical mechanism by which AI could theoretically “end scarcity”

Laws only exist if they’re enforced

Democrats need to understand, need to really grapple with the fact that this is just who Republicans are and your only real options are preventing them from wielding power or shrugging your shoulders and hoping they don’t come after you

“What’s something your grandkids won’t believe you did when you were young?” Fly in an airplane in the United States the way they do in the rest of the world

Everyone knows the constitution doesn’t apply during a shutdown!

Nimesh Patel and Bill Burr and Pete Davidson are gonna be so pissed they did their comedy festival before this announcement rather than after

And then the Fire Nation attacked

Juries should nullify every absurd prosecution

Trump saw inflation dropping like a rock and went “oh no you don’t!”

The face of mild annoyance that he can’t just leave when one of his sycophants keels over in front of him

Musk is clearly lying here and gets tongue tied because 1) he isn’t very smart and can’t think quickly, 2) he is unbelievably lazy and has not bothered to think of a plausible justification for his lie ahead of time, and 3) was absolutely not expecting Rogan to ask any follow up questions

Cool. What would you call the other wing then? www.nytimes.com/2025/11/03/u...

This is how you write a headline

“he can’t be at his peak performance throughout three and a half hours” bro we know

Said this before but this kind of thing is pure projection and every single person in the country knows it. “Republican who wants to murder Democrats” is a core faction of the GOP, there is no comparable group within the Democratic Party

“I’m not antisemitic but attending a Jewish activity would violate my core principles” is, uh… certainly a bunch of words you can say!

Just heard a conservative coworker explain that there’s “no winning [the shutdown] on either side” and that we should just “have everyone [on foodstamps] bring their paperwork back in to make sure everyone who is on it should be on it”. The average conservative is just dumb as shit, guys

Ol Donny Economy does it again!

ME: goodnight moon THE MOON: wait can i have a glass of water first ME: what THE MOON: read me a story

A not insignificant percentage of the population has basically become addicted to battling an existential threat and they aren’t going to let something so small as there not being an existential threat get in the way of that battle

I hear what you’re saying but that is a run-of-the-mill conservative

Mamdani is the most Leslie Knope-assed American politician in a decade.

Bro what

looool

Oh shit a cop lied holy fuck has that ever happened before?

In a lot of places the healthcare industry pays better than most anywhere else

If any of the million rich conservatives living in NYC would like to sell their penthouses and brownstones to me for ~3-5% of the pre-election market value I am willing to pay you now before the value goes to zero, my DMs are open!

This is why you DON'T stop the shutdown. Clearly the voters know who's responsible for the shutdown and now it's gonna be even worse. Since the news isn't willing to be honest with Americans about what Trump was and is, this will have to do so they can get the message.

30% of Americans are not meaningfully attached to reality

Voters when Trump has been in office for more than a few weeks:

Along with everything else, Trump admitting the shutdown led to a bloodbath for Republicans should at an absolute minimum lead Dem Senators to shelve their apparent plan to prematurely cave. He's admitting he and the GOP are in a weak position, Dems. Exploit that!

“This is a conversation we don’t have in front of the customer” is something you have to tell your dumbest coworker so it makes sense that the president needs to have it explained to him

Joyscrolling

There really isn’t any excuse to have MTG on regardless but it is especially irresponsible to give her a platform like this and not point out very explicitly that her lies are in fact lies

Happy longest shutdown in US history to all who celebrate!

this is an obvious overcorrection that misleads the polling data and will lead to disaster in the Heartland. the results of tonight show that the Democrats should moderate: adopting two or at most three of the five pillars of Islam