🚨 New Dorkout drop 🚨 This is it, the definitive version of my ranking of the Ernest movies. #Filmsky

Exquisite.

Sleep well, Queen.

“I’m here at ground zero. Don’t worry, I don’t mean the New York tourist attraction.” I think How Are You? It’s Alan (Partridge) and I are going to be fast friends.

Friday

The DC Comics x AEW announcement got me thinking about Marvel’s WCW comics from the ‘90s.

Thursday

In addition to continuing to avoid politics, Jimmy Fallon plans to maintain his longstanding policy of not doing anything that might make the viewers laugh.

Wednesday

30th September ➡️ 1st October

#ThingsIJustSawOnline #StarTrek

For a man who left the Labour Party expecting some kind of North Korean-esque outpouring of grief at the act, turning up to the Labour conference is a bit attention-seeking, not going to lie.

When this comes out it’ll be almost 20 years to the day of the first one. Jesus.

Tuesday

A leveraged buyout with $20 billion of debt is a grim outlook for EA. It’s probably going to get butchered, then left to rot in the name of a quick buck like basically everything else private equity touches. Not going to mourn them, but feel sorry for basically everyone working for them.

Hard Target, but instead of Lance Henriksen hunting people for sport, it’s MrBeast putting people in life-threatening situations for content.

A while ago, I wrote an article ranking all of the Ernest movies, and… I wasn’t really happy with how it turned out; it felt like it lacked real depth. So I’ve gone back, and on Friday, I’ll be publishing a 12,000+ word ranking of all the Ernest films on dorkout.substack.com. #Filmsky

Monday

Considering Saudi Arabia’s so out of touch, they requested WWE bring Yokozuna and Ultimate Warrior because they didn’t know they were both dead. I’m surprised they didn’t try and book Bob Hope and Tommy Cooper for the Riyadh Comedy Festival.

This is what the Riyadh Comedy Festival makes me think of

I’m not surprised that any of these people are taking the Saudi bag. A veritable cunts’ row.

How long after the Ryder Cup has finished will it take TEMUssolini to be posting about what a bunch of un-American losers the USA team is?

The 'Riyadh Comedy Festival' reminds me of the story of Freddie Starr performing in the Middle East, under instruction not to swear or refer directly to Prince Hussein. He came on and said 'Which one of you fuckers is Prince Hussein?' and the curtain immediately came down.

Just so we're clear, Liverpool scoring goals in injury time is a sign of winners. So, by that logic, Spurs are title challengers? #coys

That Timothy Olyphant interview on Late Night with Seth Meyers is one giant chef’s kiss.

That lad’s going to have hair like Rapunzel’s by the time United win five in a row.

West Ham waiting to sack Graham Potter until after the press conference, so he had to talk about the memes, is some lovely shithousing.

Prime Video has uploaded the fascinating made-for-TV oddity Terror At London Bridge, featuring David Hasselhoff and, er, Jack the Ripper. filmstories.co.uk/features/ter...

Seventy years of ITV and it's still full of fresh new ideas. Like the new light entertainment show set to debut tonight at 7.15. #itv70

Absolute Green Arrow might be cooking.

"You'll have to speak up, I'm wearing a towel. "

🚨New on Dorkout🚨 Gibson, Issacs, Ledger, Wilkinson. Today, we’re talking about The Patriot. #Filmsky

Friday

I love how fucking gory it is.

Thursday

Coming Friday on dorkout.substack.com.

Bitten by a radioactive willy, he became…

Wednesday

Sadiq Khan lives rent free in TEMUssolini’s head. Imagine calling out a mayor from another country in a speech to the UN.

This Friday on dorkout.substack.com.

Tuesday

So what they are saying is that it's all... 🙂 🕶️ 😎 … Rumours YEEEAAAHHHH!

Big junior novelisation in the Scholastic book fair catalogue vibes.

A. The title is fucking atrocious. B. This is coming out six years after the show peaked with the S2 season finale. Pretty astounding mismanagement. C. Yes, I’m going to be there day one.

What I’m wearing to the Rapture

I’ve written almost 4,000 words about Road House (1989). If you love this film, then it’s a love letter to The One Perfect Film. If you’re not arsed about it, then it’s a tongue-in-cheek ode to ‘80s trash cinema’s favourite son. #Filmsky

Happy 70th birthday ITV, the number one broadcaster for things I have absolutely no interest in.

Monday