So two weeks ago, I decided I was going to take up college football as a Saturday hobby since Big 10 games are on Peacock. But nobody told me there’s a stupid Big Ten Network and I still can’t watch all the games

77% of people are idiots. Fortunately, I belong to the 33% of intelligent people.

Go back to Halloween Town

I am once again calling on state governors to mobilize their National Guards to escort congressmembers into ICE facilities so they can DO THEIR LAWFULLY ASSIGNED FEDERAL DUTIES

I beg you, please watch. Why America is like this.

My sister died the day after her 40th birthday due to extreme stress. She took a nap and never woke up. Nothing is gonna stress me out to that extent. Not a man, not a job, not these bills, and for damn sure not politics. I refuse. Stress kills. That’s the real advice for your 30s.

Ehhhhh….. you can actually get diabolicaler Telling his mama she gave birth to cheating lying ass bitch and she should have left him in a rag after his daddy wiped her chin with is actually light work

I swore I blocked this man a few months ago for being a disrespectful prick. I remember that pfp. Is this a different account?

Black women Only daughters Oldest daughters Remember that you’re only one person. You can’t do it all. You’re not failing because you didn’t get it all done. Survival is not the bar. Living is. Love y’all.

Day 3 of government shutdown and I’ve already forgotten what day of the week it is.

Love the song but I’m feeling some kinda way about Meg using a bad boy sample in 2025.

Don’t you just love the efficiency and competency of this administration? 8 hours into the government shutdown, and I still don’t know if my position is “excepted” from furlough.

I have ambient lights on a timer set for 7:20PM. It’s😢already😢dark😢in😢my😢house😢 I have to change the he timer by 30 minutes.

As someone about to have spinal surgery, I can’t help but notice how stiffly Mariah Carey has been holding her head and neck. She looks like she’s in pain.

🎶 Take a look, it's in a book 🎶 🥹 After nearly 20 years... Reading Rainbow is returning to motivate, help, and encourage kids to become avid readers with new episodes, new friends, new projects, and of course... new books! Make sure to follow the rainbow 📚🌈 #FollowTheRainbow

Dogs Adding Fun to live broadcasts 🤗 #SundayFun #SundayVibes

She look like if she was doing an impersonation of TonyTalks doing an impersonation of her. 😐

I'd enjoy a shower more if I had backup singers.

When I heard Tanner Adell’s song called Throw It Back, that’s when I realized what a pink cadillac was. Literally like 2 years ago.

I once dated a girl who had a twin, and people always asked how I could tell them apart. Easy - Alison painted her nails red... and Bob had a beard.

Why do people thirst trap on the same Snapchat account they post their kids? That’s a bit weird. Them: 🍑🍑🫦👶🏽🍑 Me: ☎️🚨🚓👮‍♀️

I wish Publix was here so I could boycott it. I hate that I couldn't find any news about it. Without public coverage, we can't really expect public outrage. Hopefully the big TikTokers like Jasmine all do videos on it to spread the word at least.

Looks like my hormonal acne is trying to make a return. Thanks perimenopause!

Hold Up, Wait a Minute by Antonique Smith will not let you down. 😡 tidal.com/browse/track...

ever eat a kid’s meal at a restaurant, then get beat up by their parents

Well, I got midway through season 3 rewatching The Good Place before it left Netflix and went to “the bad place” (aka Amazon). I can go back to watching Wednesday now.

I moved states to get out of management. After 3 years, I had my non-supervisory dream job. Three months in they changed my job duties and made it managerial. I finished out the year of my probation and told them I wanted my old job back. $13,322 a year less pay. Wasn’t worth it.

Those of y’all that don’t have to lubricate, shole ‘nuff got it made 🎶

🤣🤣🤣

Wow. Didn’t know this many people were in to karaoke! 🎤

Morning funny:

And always a good time to Never Eat at Atlas restaurants

English is not your first language huh? Or are you just really bad at math?

May your workday be touch-less.

My friends laughed at me when I said I had a hot date and they said she was imaginary. Well, the last laugh is on them because they're imaginary too.

Sunrise, midday and sunset.....

These folks really believe the rapture is tomorrow. Everybody who owns a trumpet should get together and do the funniest thing ever and just all blow their shit at the exact same time.

Dang, where the dummies at?

happy autumnal equinox

I can only admit this now because she is dead and gone. She was definitely a rub it in your face “I told you so” kinda girl. (Me too, but that’s beside the point) That the military was not for me. But my refusal to let her know that got me all the way through my contract!

Who designed the menstrual gush?!?! I know it’s “normal” but it feels like a manufacturing defect. Like how could this thing possibly hold a baby for 10 months if it’s flooding over a cough? #IThinkMyVaginaIsBroken

The only reason trans rights and other human rights are even on the table to discuss is because everyone wanted to ‘both sides’ every thing instead of calling them weirdos for worrying about what’s in people pants. Stop debating today. Call them weird like you should have in the early aughts

“Being a great man is just being a basic woman” My homegirl got me thinking

I love us! Shoutout to #WSSU

Y’all better buy them babies those banned books and get to it. My parents weren’t perfect but they did make sure I was educated. It didn’t stop at school. Little me had lots of help at home and it paid off. ALSO stop letting them use AI for assignments!!

We let any ole body try and overthrow our democracy and take away our rights These villains aren’t even moderately attractive, not great orators, hairlines be pushed back to Calabasas, they don’t get any hoes. They take over with just racism, coffee stained teeth, and vibes. We had a good run.

Yall come see the most beautiful cosplay of Cinderella ever 😍 (ig: @kristline__)

With 2 hands, 4 eyes, and 40 years of living under my belt, I couldn’t do this with 19 HOURS!