What if you wanted to throw a Nazi party but everyone came as Himmler

it's Hobbesball

Gary Larson: In my cartoon I invented Cow Tools as a cautionary tale Cows: At long last, we have created the Cow Tools from classic newspaper comic Cow Tools

Even this headline and subtitle are reflexively understating. -no mention that the Nobel committee is not run by Norway's government -no mention that Norway does not control Greenland -"push for" is a weak way to describe the president's actual words. "Threaten" and "demand" are not editorializing.

My god he’s doing it

guy who is both a homeopath and a germ theory denier who believes that a lab leak is incredibly dangerous because the virus provably contains nothing which would make you sick

I have no knowledge of any of the horrific actions of Jeffrey Epstein other than what I have learned from news reports.

Everyone was so caught up pointing fingers at the left, nobody thought to suspect the Hapsburgs.

Parallel lines are a scam invented by the Home Depot to sell levels.

Need a Batman adaptation with more of this energy

(From varnie.vamp on Instagram)

New "it's uncivil to speak ill of the dead" loophole just dropped

A lot of the Cuomo hate on here is because he's neurodivergent (poor boundaries) and queer-coded (cuomosexual) but y'all aren't ready for that conversation 💅💅

Municipal Universal Uncle, he gives a video address to be played at thanksgiving for families and individuals whose weird uncles couldn't make it

Guy who supports land back because of housing and trade policy

HELP US FLIP NY-02: tinyurl.com/SLEEPNY02 Andrew Garbarino is asleep on the job. Literally. I've spent my entire career helping those who need it most – first in the classroom, and now serving Long Islanders with developmental disabilities.

Guy who's mad about the tattoo but because having a historical military insignia is nerd shit and undermines Platner's working class vibes

The Methodist Senior Women's Rifle Club will be, simultaneously, the most decorated paramilitary unit of American Civil War 2, and the paramilitary unit connected to the most war crimes

Far Side 2077 #cowtools #farside #cyberpunk #hightech #futurism #tron

pp small 😔

I was married, but I'm not married anymore. Women don't like the vehicle.

Hank Hill could have raised Superman

*seeing a couple with a kid* So... which one of you is the cloth mother and which is the wire mother?

It's okay buddy you don't have to explain your mental state or have a character arc they're gonna say you had a yellow space monster in you the whole time

Now we just need a spider-like robot that can lobby zoning commissions and perform Environmental Impact Assessments.

Is the kid from Inside Out a mecha

breakfast food is just regular food with a egg on it

I am just now realizing that the oddly frequent references to "Fergie" in British media refer to someone other than the member of the Black Eyed Peas

Blink 182 advocating for expanding the number of seats in Iceland's parliament: SMALL THE ALTHING

Teaching middle school again this year

Why does water taste so much better out of a paper cone

THANK YOU PRESIDENT TRUMP for taking the Eurasian Steppe Nomad threat seriously

This man is a victim of racialized workplace harrassment and needs to talk to HR and/or his union rep

Fantastic 4: First Steps is the Man of Steel of Fantastic 4 movies

Aw, cash? I wanted a potato chip.

wife's getting into a new show

a better world

The male urge to buy a bunch of lego and build a big medieval castle