“I asked Ai to sum up my emotional journey and it said-“ “YOU’RE SEEKING THERAPY FROM THE THING THAT GENERATES CH!LD PORNOGRAPHY ON TWITTER! GET YOUR SHIT TOGETHER!”

give em the ole rizzle jizzle or whatever

This guy went to work today, put a mask on, kidnapped a 5 year old child, and then used him as bait so both he and his father could be sent behind bars

What if we all just didn’t pay our taxes this year?

Get to know me 1 like = 1 answer 1) what was the name of the street where you grew up? 2) what was your first pet’s name? 3) what is your mothers’s maiden name? 4) what are the last four digits of your SSN? …..

Damn, even Sesame Street is scoring off me

Being at peace with yourself goes so fucking hard

Post a car picture you took

I don’t say this enough - and I’ve never met the man - but Brendan Fraser is a f*cking prince. He make me cry! Yes, I’m watching Dudley Do-Right again! Jk, it was the whale Double jk, it was bedazzled

I've never heard of this Jonathon Ross fellow, but this Jonathon Ross fellow seems to be the name of the day. This Jonathon Ross fellow's shouldn't be said ever, because it may upset this Jonathon Ross fellow and the people saying not to say this Jonathon Ross fellow's name. Jonathon Ross.

I understand the assignment do you? JONATHAN ROSS.

So, Kristi Noem scolded someone for saying the name Jonathan Ross, since Jonathan Ross mercilessly murdered Renee Good and now people are talking about Jonathan Ross and she doesn’t think it’s fair to bring heat on Jonathan Ross; so it’s super important that none of us say the name Jonathan Ross.

BREAKING: Donald Trump has become the first American to win the Grand Sumo Tournament Championship in the history of Sumo wrestling. #DonaldTrump #PeacePrize

"Men are afraid that women will laugh at them. Women are afraid that men will kill them." Margaret Atwood

The UK treats lobsters better than the US treats its own citizens. www.theguardian.com/world/2025/d...

Gotta love @thehardtimesnews.bsky.social 💖

She was flying home to surprise her family and instead they kidnapped her and sent her to Honduras. Just say that sentence out loud a couple of times to really let it hit home

"Let them eat a piece of chicken, a piece of broccoli, corn tortilla, and one other thing."

Hitting that level of “I’ve had it,” where I might have to make a gravity bong.

not to be political but we are fucked

A U.S. president cannot be held accountable. Therefore, a U.S. president must never make a policy decision.

Psych meds make magic hard.

Depression hack: Jiminy Glick

It’s been January 2026 for the past 84 years

Groundhog Day of our discontent

there should be more sports where we get to just sit down

While My Guitar Gently Weeps is my favorite song about a guy who let his studio get way too humid.

I’ve seen more resistance from an unopened pack of baby wipes than I have from the democrats

Alpha bro: you don't understand babe it's for your safety I don't want you to have any toxic micro plastics inside of you.

Anyone do this yet?

This picture could heal me

Church full of white people in the Midwest literally singing “we will abolish ICE” and guys like Chuck Schumer can’t bring themselves to say they will maybe possibly not give them another million dollars

Make American football Gay Again ✨✨✨

At this point America is all four Alanises fighting in the car with guns and diarrhea. Which Alanis will win?

Taking a mental health break from violence and oppression by posting about Alanis Morissette and diarrhea. (Don’t judge, we earned this.)

Apple News: Here’s the news you missed Me: NO THANK YOU!!!!

this french skunk pervert is a menace, he has no honor and belongs in prison

ICE is looking for criminals. Apply within.

The only thing that calms down my neurodivergent 5yo now is watching the episode of South Park where Russell Crowe sails around the world in a tug boat beating people up.

"shitting on ai makes you sound like a Luddite" oh okay, thank you! Luddites were cool as hell

kids these days don't know how to impress Jodie Foster

Write like no one’s reading (because they’re not) ✨

As an American, I can’t form any real opinions until I hear what Young Sheldon has to say.

You mean I have to bear the shame of being an American on top of all my regular shame? Rude.

This asshole should've NEVER been reelected to office-especially after being CONVICTED OF 34 FELONY COUNTS... and this country knows it.