This tail light makes me feel some kind of way. ⚒️

Artichokes. Periodt.

TSA made us throw out a 4 oz jar of speciality mustard, just a reminder that our troops die for nothing

I don't follow sports so I assume from the photos that the Ghostbusters defeated Gozer

They're called "Bigfoot hunters," not "Bigfoot finders."

Funerals are just family reunions minus one person

Liquid glass? Do not want. Siri AI? Do not want.

This is the ideal male body. You may not like it, but this is what peak performance looks like

these are getting weird

Remember how you used to just know everyone’s phone number? Then cell phones came out and you could barely recite your own number? That’s what AI’s endgame is but for every aspect of your life.

Pope Leo: 1, Richard Dawkins: 0

when you ask a sedimentary guy about anything igneous ⚒️

Due to climate change, the boys of summer can check out any time they like, but they can never leave.

Reply "STOP" to receive Cat Facts for eternity.

Oh shit, you mean we can finally use ivermectin for its on-label use? www.reuters.com/business/hea...

Welp there’s no unseeing this

happy gay sediments month to all who celebrate

a dad bod? you mean a father figure

So far, www.udm14.com still works.

Swallowing is not eating. You actually have to process the food yourself in some way.

You only get rewarded with a license if you are lucky enough to work for a firm that has enough licensed geologists to haul you up. Unlicensed geologists working for smaller one-man-band operations don't have a clear path to getting licensed themselves, and get stuck as staff geologists forever.

Tough world for new geologists out there. Even what I do takes at least three other geologists of similar licensing to vouch for your experience before you can even sit for the licensing exam, so the criteria becomes tighter as the candidate pool continues to shrink.

He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks another drink And it's a whiskey drink

BURN through the witches and BURN through the witches and BURN through the rest of my WITCH BACKLOG

Please listen carefully, as my parameters have changed.

I'm not ashamed to admit that part of my rejection of AI comes from my decades-long hatred for automated phone trees.

New product idea: foaming mouthwash

You come to me, on the day of my son's wedding, which I am not attending

Turns out I'm a crazy Kat lady.

We really wanted to introduce you to Vanilla. She has the daintiest handshake we've ever witnessed. 14/10 (IG: bordercollievanilla)

USPS Informed Delivery is resorting to jump scares now.

Hover-over popups are an abomination.

He reads the silly post He reads the scoldy post He reads the jokey post And the pedantic post He reads the posts that remind him of the bad site He reads the posts that remind him of the worst site Don’t screenshot that, troll behavior

H = Oₐ + T + Lₒ + Iₓ + N² + Eⁿ + B¹ + L³ + Iⁿ + N° + G Updated Drake equation. A highly speculative formula for estimating the number of galactic civilizations capable of booty calls.

HELEN OF TROY MUST BE PLAYED BY THE SEXY GREEN M & M

Every person I've known as an acquaintance offline or online who came to Bluesky and proclaimed they hated it, hated it for basically the same reason: they missed the algorithm. The algorithm, and its true progenitor targeted advertisement, are literally why fascism is on the rise today.

Crystal Gazing xkcd.com/3243/

He has the same energy as a guy telling his ex-wife that they're not divorced anymore.

Happy mother's day to single men with pets. I see you.

Happy birthday to the most powerful solvent of all time: Mom's saliva

This reminds me of those poor people who believe that their arm or leg is an alien object attached to their body and need desperately to have it removed.

Happy Mother’s Day to people who believe motherhood should be a choice and not a punishment.

Digging themselves a pretty deep canyon.

Your objection to my becoming so successful that I noped entirely out of the social contract is cringe, bro.

The cool thing about defunding science and ignoring basic health protocols is that the universe is gonna keep on doing its thing, and it *really* does not give a shit what you believe

Apropos of whatever, where the hell is a Big Mac Meal only $8.99? Fast food prices are literally out of control. Yesterday I paid $9.19 for one (1) Whopper at Burger King at the drive-thru.

Why has Apple decided that gray is the color used to select something in CarPlay? It's not like I didn't spend 30+ years being trained to see gray as the color used to denote that an option is not available.

Like the vast majority of spiders (certain Australian psychopaths excepted) the Brown Recluse does not seek confrontation and will only bite if threatened or trapped. To use words Kyle Rittenhouse will understand, Brown Recluses have a Castle Doctrine and abide by strict Stand Your Ground laws.

Happy May Day. They can’t kill us all.

Catcher in the Rye, hands down.