I once dated a dendrochronologist. He double-timed me by dating a tree. There were rings involved.

Unfortunately, like all the journalists still addicted to X, folks like Heather Cox Richardson and Paul Krugman lament the impending fall of democracy on Substack, which platforms Neo-Nazis and sends swastikas out on push notifications. Presumably because they'd make *fewer* millions elsewhere.

“Eternal Sennheiser of the Spotless Mind”

I can't say this loudly enough: THEY ARE TRYING TO NORMALIZE THE KILLING OF CIVILIANS FOR PARTICIPATING IN FIRST AMENDMENT PROTECTED PROTEST ACTIVITIES.

Why do I drive a white SUV in Los Angeles like every other white SUV? So the cops can't tell me from anybody else.

The message from the White House this morning is that, once again, it falls on ordinary American citizens to remain calm and professional when dealing with the heavily armed agents of the government because they are very emotional and might fly off into a murderous rage at the slightest insult.

DHS Releases Watchlist Of Mothers Driving Cars https://theonion.com/dhs-releases-watchlist-of-mothers-driving-cars/

My dad ignored me until I was a teenager and then one day he decided I was finally worthy to start a conversation with and I was like WHO IS THIS GUY

Department of Interior says if you put a sticker over Trump's face on your national park entrance pass, the pass will be invalidated. Meanwhile Trump's decision to put his face on the passes is being challenged in court

What's not written here is that Scott Adams did not undergo the standard prostate cancer treatment arc, but instead wanted to prove that IVERMECTIN CURES CANCER And all he proved is that IVERMECTIN DOES NOT CURE CANCER. This is, by far, the funniest thing Scott Adams has ever done.

they’re rebranding wartime rape

I missed that Schoolhouse Rock! cartoon where the anthropomorphic AR-15 sang about how the laws (and whims) of the United States of America are legally enforceable beyond its borders.

This all seems pretty unbecoming of a FIFA Peace Prize winner

Bragging that you just passed your 3rd dementia test is a great way of telling us they've made you take 3 dementia tests

My calculator deeply apologized for displaying 5318008

I've heard it said about 10% of people find looking at images like the Ultra Deep Field unsettling, leaving them feeling small and adrift. For me, I find the very opposite is true. I look at images like this and see lights on in distant buildings, a city across the crescent of a dark ocean bay.

One of the best things that happened to me in 2025 was that we got a permit to visit The Wave in Arizona. Here are some photos from last Friday; needless to say, photos do not do justice to this place

If you are a resident of California, the state now has a portal where you can demand deletion of your personal data from 500+ registered data brokers with a single request form, for free. consumer.drop.privacy.ca.gov

Trying to get into the Star Wars pre-sequel and/or Andor

getting ahead of all the NEW YEAR WHO DIS posts by throwing my phone away

Look, I'm sure that Nolan's adaptation of "The Odyssey" will be fun, but I highly doubt it will be as good as the original.

Timelapse of the 12” bowl I printed

Can confirm.

millions of people watching bootleg copies of the CECOT 60 Minutes segment while advertisers writhe in agony over those lost eyeballs

motherfuckers over there painting Wite-Out on their computer monitors

The full spiked 60 Minutes CECOT package, clean & subtitled. 1/5

sexy robot women following me and trying to sell me FUCK ICE t-shirts many such cases

Who called it thermodynamic equilibrium and not heat sync?

Pantone just updated their Color Of The Year

Hi, I'm the CEO of Glorbo, the company who enjoys near unprecedented goodwill in our field, I'm here today to talk to you about our pivot to using the Magic 8-Ball powered by children's bones that everybody hates, I've given myself psychosis listening to the 8-ball aaaaeeeeeiiiiooouuuu

Not to brag, but there isn’t a single person in my address book who knows or cares about Bluesky. Just as well.

Merriam-Webster’s human editors have chosen ‘slop’ as the 2025 Word of the Year.

This year has been the longest decade of my life.

let it die

GET OUT OF MY DREAMS AND ONTO MY LAWN

can’t wish anyone a happy honda-days anymore

Lots of “olds these days” posts lately.

I think it’s also true that loneliness among women has historically been treated as an individual problem, while loneliness among men is treated as a societal problem. That, in turn, comes from an assumption that women are supposed to earn the company of others while men are entitled to it.

In case you need a real world example of how life began in primordial earth and was able to reproduce and evolve.

Paramount Skydance McDonald’s Dunkin’ Donuts Lululemon launches hostile bid for Warner Brothers Discovery Nestle Etsy.

Pillars of 👀 🔭🐡🧪🎨

Anyone who agrees with the illegal, unconstitutional actions of the regime against immigrants under the claim of "people need to come into the country the right way" are lying through their teeth. These victims of regime criminality HAVE come in the right way. people.com/immigrants-a...

Holy shit

Humbled and honored to receive the prestigious Double‑Double Diplomacy Award (Tim Hortons). Sure, I picked it out of a catalog—but don’t let that diminish the gravitas and responsibility that come with this Timbits trophy. Looking forward to the Loblaws Lifetime Loyalty Award (President’s Choice).

“You won the Nobel prize, Mr. President!“ “But it says FIFA?” “Oh, they’re just hosting the event this year.”