Stockley Park - the VAR period drama coming to ITV 1

FFS, can nobody have sex in Ambridge without getting up the duff, it’s so fecking tedious #TheArchers

I found out today that one of the forces pushing Trump the hardest for this Greenland shit is… the owner of Estée Lauder. Sharing this here because they own SO MANY makeup brands and I bet a lot of you might like to join me in not repurchasing anything from this makeup brand family!

I talked to Dean our paperboy about the government possibly banning under 16s from social media today. ‘Do you know what Toxic Masculinity is Dean?’ I ask him. ‘Yeh Course I do bruh!’ he replies. ‘It’s that new antiperspirant from Lynx. My Nan bought me some this Christmas.’ 🥴

I feel Sandi Toksvig could sort this.

Rachel paid someone, a former FBI agent, to teach her about profiling and micro expressions and still believed the former detective? 🤣😂 #TheTraitors

In better geopolitical news, the northern lights are currently in full swing in Carmarthenshire.

I’m not keen on dairy with citrus. Blood orange and burrata? 🤢 #TheArchwrs

Esme grew up here , but has an off accent, and was driving a tractor- but no one saw her. #TheArchers

Oh do stop fing about Eddie.You’re not the IMF #TheArchers

Beef Bourg. Treated with utmost suspicion by some farming folk round here earlier this month. I said it was beef stew really, and that made it ok and less furrin. #TheArchers

I missed all that about Harrison driving somewhere else to avoid arrest. Fill me in someone please. #TheArchers

Cardamom is a good anti inflammatory. We need plenty of it. #TheArchers

Does Dopey want a lesbian mentor or a rookie like Esme in his family? #TheArchers

Hurrah! It’s Esme and Dopey, and TB testing. What more could we wish for? #TheArchers

PETITION: By-elections to be called automatically when MPs defect to another party petition.parliament.uk/petitions/73...

Donald Trump isn’t negotiating, he’s punishing. This post looks at why the UK’s “reasonable” strategy was never going to work, how the NHS ended up paying the price, and why there may be no stable way to deal with this administration at all. A darker one than I would have liked.

Beginning to think the detective from #TheTraitors is leading the George case #TheArchers

As requested by @rmappleby.uk, this week’s issue episode of Bear and Monk Debunk was about immigration, asylum seekers and the benefits and perks that aren’t all that they seem to be. If you have a thought, for an episode, let @monkemma.bsky.social or myself know, and we’ll debunk it for you! 🐻

And while we’re recommending YouTube films, here’s the inimitable @petergeoghegan.bsky.social doing the Lord’s work. Because nothing says ‘free speech champions’ like, erm, going to Court to keep who funds your payroll secret. www.youtube.com/watch?v=oP0O...

Clive: “This village is full of farmers, tramps, and thieves. But every New Year’s Eve Chris would come around, And lay his bottle down.” #TheArchers #FarmersTrampsAndThieves

OK. It’s Harrison. He wants to leave the cast. He’d know the laptop details for the cctv, he’s still furious at George for the miscarriage. He was in Ambridge on NYE. If he appears for the holiday relief shift he get arrested or confess to Fallon- assuming she hasn’t guessed already. #TheArchers

Oh excellent Clive caught harassing & upsetting Soozan in front of George’s probation officer. Three ex-lags in one scene. #TheArchers #Porridge

Clive or Bruce, which is the greater panto baddy? #TheArchers

Clive: My body is a temple #TheArchers

I daren’t imagine what Dopey needs gelatine for 😱 #TheArchers

George saying he’d kill anyone who harmed Keira is probably not his best suit. #TheArchers

“Time To Think” technique being used by Alice. I’d genuinely like to see / hear Nancy Kline dealing with George and the Aldridges. #TheArchers

Kate’s words to George were really good IMO #TheArchers

I wonder how many people waiting for anger issues counselling (and people affected by them) might now be wondering if a bottle over the head might be a quick fix for them too? #TheArchers

I’d like to say sorry from the heart of my bottom. #TheArchers

Pilates by candlelight sounds like bliss - even with Kate. #TheArchers

Hellen:Maybe Bridge Farm can offer you that sense of belonging Akram? I’ll offer you minimum wage paid by the hour, no sick or holiday pay, as many hours as I say, when I say. You’ll belong to us here. #TheArchers

George describing Willurm as a nasty lump of gunk stuck in the filter is fair enough, but probably best thought not said. #TheArchers

Chris: Put something shallow under the filter. George: Ok Uncle Chris, I’m lying down now. #TheArchers

We as the UK have been fruitlessly chasing the mythical US-UK Trade Deal for what feels like decades now, and even cut ourselves off from our biggest trading partner, the EU, to do so. Additional tariffs are now going to be imposed on the UK by the US because we oppose the annexation of an ally.

#MikeJohnson rowing back on having said threatening Greenland is not the way to go, and that Trump won't really invade, but yes, the world should take him seriously. So that's cleared that up. #bbclaurak

Oi, America - please come collect your geriatric orange demagogue. He’s threatening Europe again and we’re all very tired. Enough of this shit now. Signed, Europe

Tour guide at Mar-a-Lago: ‘If you look up in the far right corner, 3 rows down, you should be able to see President Trump’s European Figure Skating Champion Trophy of 2022. Below that his ‘Neatest Handwriting in Class Award of 2013. Oh & there’s his FA Cup winners medal etc etc’

Surely not! I’m shocked. #TheArchers

Surprised Reg didn’t ask George for details of the help he’d asked for with his anger issues. Given what George has told him and what Reg has been tipped, it’s pretty important to know if George has sought help and from whom. #TheArchers

I tend to agree with Clive. George’s Bottle Crash Therapy BCT seems more like the work of an amateur than Marky’s gang. #TheArchers

Reg hasn’t seen George since his release? Hope he notices Clive and his gob sounding off outside. #TheArchers

Why is Kenton pretending to Reg nothing happened? Fwit. #TheArchers

Nice of Clive to indicate his intentions towards Amber. What a charmer. #TheArchers

Clive’s got a curious view of people. I expect he detects who is “Nice” through his Reiki sensitivity. 🥴 #TheArchers

Brian: Can you imagine George making a life for himself in Ambridge? Soosan: It’s impossible for anyone to live anywhere but Ambridge, especially a Grundy. #TheArchers

Missed yesterday’s episode (Friday) as I went to see Hamnet. No idea what happened from the posts here. 🥴 #TheArchers