If Brighton finish ahead of Chelsea as well, then this season should win the Edinburgh Comedy Award

Listen, I hate the inevitability of City too, but a Premier League season where Arsenal bottle it and Spurs get relegated too would genuinely be the funniest thing to happen since Eric Cantona drop kicked a racist

We’ve told all the casting agents that the Weird Al biopic sequel is currently on hold, but they just keep sending in headshots.

I guess all I can say is that I wish West Ham all the luck in the world for the remainder of the season, I'm truly rooting for you

lmao the eurovision mascot is so ugly I literally screamed at this reveal

This used to happen to me when I was younger and I'd had what Aberystwyth locals know as an Admiral - 4 shots of vodka with red bull, served in a warm pint glass. Anyway, somehow it always transported me into the back of a taxi where someone (don't know who!) had been mysteriously sick

One of the solutions proposed - I am not kidding - is "writing scripts to automate repetitive tasks." It's really funny imagining a software engineer being like "woah...like automating the boring stuff, you might say?"

If a company as large as Microsoft - the only hyperscaler building out AI from cashflow - is having to do token austerity, this shit must cost so much more than we think

hearing microsoft is reorganizing its AI team under the banner of "the Copilot System." Also hearing that teams are under pressure to *reduce* AI token use, remit is that there needs to be "fiscal responsibility in AI ops" and that Claude Code usage is being reduced in favour of Copilot CLI.

Working in comms is great. Junior colleague asked me which video we should post about Payroll giving and I watched them and had to say "probably not the one with a huge dog penis in it"

Why the fuck are lampshades so expensive? Who's seriously paying north of £50 to not look directly at a bulb? How does Big Shop get away with this?

BREAKING: Andrew Mountbatten-Windsor has been arrested on suspicion of misconduct in public office, according to reports Story to follow

moral panic you say

I think often of the women in the Louis CK story—how they all left comedy and never went back, but he’s still going. It’s everywhere and it’s such a loss for them and for us—for things they’ll never make that we’ll never see.

It’s so funny that this guy’s entire thing is “Oh are you triggered by what I have to say about marginalized people” but he loses it when someone more well-liked than he will ever be talks about an actual injustice

Shot and chaser from new Epstein batch

Calling transphobia a 'gateway drug' to the far right undersells it. It's pure accelerant. Grimly fascinating to guess what crankery becomes any famous transphobe's secondary obsession, cos they all have one: 15 minute cities are fascism! Grok noncing is cool! ICE are good! We should kill all dogs!

Raw Chicken and Mouse dropping ‘Misery Behind Them’

If there's one thing Bolsonaro and his supporters love, it's going to hospital

🚨⚡ Um raio atingiu bolsonaristas em Brasília nesta tarde. Eles estavam aguardando Nikolas Ferreira no Memorial JK para um protesto pela soltura de Bolsonaro quando um raio atingiu a praça. Três bolsonaristas foram para o hospital.

Harriet walking into the roundtable like

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

I had a terrible night's sleep last night because I kept having apocalyptic nightmares about the world descending irreversibly into an unlivable capitalist hellscape, an entirely avoidable judgement day that our leaders gleefully threw us into. Anyway,

Feels route one to complain about the Stranger Things finale being underwhelming but hey ho. This entire season has felt like a mid-tier Marvel movie and I did not care for it.

I really hope it's just a bizarre coincidence that Villa's winning run seems to have ended the second I completed Ghost of Yotei. I do not have it in me to do a NG+

Amazing sales pitch - we suck and won't listen to you. Join today!

me: you boy what day is it today? boy: nonces shout out of the window day. me: oof you’ve absolutely done me there.

I beat Takezo the Unrivalled on hard. After a full day of trying. Harder than anything in God of War and I beat all the Valkyries and the berserkers, but it also by far feels like the most bullshit fight of all of them. I like Ghost of Yotei but there's something intrinsically off about combat in it

Just a few hours left til I reach one of my favourite parts of the year: the week where I don't tell my parents I have annual leave before Christmas so I can spend it all sleeping instead of being guilt tripped into going back to West Wales

Don't agree with this reading of it. The BBC is not some magical entity that is bound to immutable principles, it is simply an organisation made up of people. And the most influential of these people are dangerous and gleeful bigots who are actively trying to push us further into fascist dystopia

Robin is a genuine beacon of humanity and integrity, but let's be clear: the BBC has been so utterly ideologically captured by the far right that what we are now facing is people with a conscience being forced to resign due to the simple act of *not* being a cunt. This is terrifying.

What a season Emi Buendia is having. The king of short kings

Do find it funny how I only turn up in this documentary about dating apps for about 20 seconds total, and each time I do I am saying the most depressing shit possible

Really feel like I got my money's worth out of my dental checkup today, turns out I have a very slight buildup of tartar and also I'm probably getting on a bit if I ever want to have kids. guys would normally have to pay a dominatrix quite a lot of money for that sort of service, good deal

new favourite New York Times term for a British thing just dropped

It's that time of year

I was just in the middle of calling the ref a cunt for not blowing for full time in the Scotland match and then.... then they went and scored that

When I encounter myself as a different colored cursor because I have the Google Doc open in two tabs

i do think fundamentally if you are out campaigning for this party you are a worse person than almost anyone who doesn't

Lmao why is it every time no. 10 sources brief to the press they make it sound like Keir Starmer is the most clueless himbo on the planet, like there's just a piece of straw where his brain should be. He exists in a miasma of cluelessness so thick it's amazing he hasn't accidentally drank bleach

Remember, when journalists just let trans people live their lives in peace, it’s “ideological capture”, but when they use their own personal anti-trans beliefs to lead a campaign to close down the only place in the country trans youth received healthcare, it’s absolutely fine, nothing to see here.

"World's first potential trillionaire has killed 600,000 people, including 400,000 children" is the only headline that anyone should ever read about Elon Musk

I don't think this was my favourite series of Traitors but that finale was pure fucking Hollywood. Unbelievable. Brilliant television.

nobody on the left cares because the bbc has spent 20 years lying about every left wing politician and activist in the country

Somehow this is exactly the sort of thing you'd expect someone called Ann Womble to say about one of modern history's greatest monsters

I have had an absolutely godawful week so I can only assume Dick Cheney dying is some kind of karmic rebalancing. You can all thank me for having such an abjectly miserable personal life that nature feels the need to address it in that way

I'm gonna be honest, I kind of fell off Pingu after the early seasons, how dark can it possibly have gotten. Did the baby penguin have a SIDS storyline or something

We tried to place this story - very expensive polling, the first of its kind, strong quantitative data about what trans people feel about Britain: bluntly there is no better way to tell the story - with the BBC but it said it was "too weak". But it will pick up any old piece of transhating garbage.

Morgan McSweeney frantically googling "how proscribe Green party terrorist"