I think John Wayne would have loved Roblox

autozone is the #1 store when you need a betty boop steering wheel cover and a shifter knob that looks like a metal skull

Fair

If you make me President I promise I'll make Descendents "I Wanna Be A Bear" the new national anthem.

Listen I am opposed to banning books or censorship in any way. I also believe that no one should ever read The Catcher In The Rye and I'm in favor of burning all copies.

My 17 year old daughter is reading my copy of a book about the West Virginia Mine Wars. She's going to be just fine.

Buc-ee's is the Cracker Barrel of 7-11's.

just found a bullet casing with the entire bee movie script on it

30 years with this wonderful human. She saved me from myself.

Tom Hanks be pissing

If there ever was a show to see, this would be it.

One of my favorite cities. A true gem of a town.

What better way to observe the end of slavery than a rich old white man yelling to work harder.

Ben Shapiro is just an asexual version of Ted Cruz

RIP Pope, you would have loved Skyline Chili

Casey Royer of Social Distortion/Adolescents and D.I. has a son named Casey Royer, Pt. II, the Sequel. Just let that sit for a bit.

they just don't make supernaturally enhanced ninjutsu murder cults like they used to

The collective noun for a group of Ohioans is a skyline

Happy Thatcher is Dead day to those who celebrate. A reminder that some of us may live to see better times.

It’s like we’re being governed by dumb Thanos.

I want a Megadeth cover band where all of Dave's vocals are just the swedish chef from Muppets

People that wear red hats think that Lulu was the best Metallica album.

I oppose the death penalty in nearly all cases, with a few exceptions. 1) Cops that kill innocent people 2) People that back into parking spaces 3) People that refer to their significant other as "lover" in public 4) People that say "doll hairs" instead of dollars 5) Morrissey

I propose a trade. We keep the 530,000 people from Central America that the Trump administration is trying to and already has deported. In exchange, we deport all of the residents of Ohio. It would be a net gain for the citizens of America. Would culturally enrich us and lower crime simultaneously.

I don’t understand why the new Snow White is failing at the box office even though seeing the original film is a core childhood memory for people in their late 90s

@darthbluesky.bsky.social this is Wednesday, she likes pup cups.

He drinks a whiskey drink He drinks a vodka drink He drinks a lager drink He drinks a cider drink He sends a text that remind him of the war plans He sends a text that reminds him of the war crimes #Hegseth

Danzig logic: Possession by demons, ok Hacking heads off little girls, ok Raping your mother today, ok Vaccines, not ok.

Personally, I think it's not a good idea to transfer special education services to HHS where the head of the department brags heroin made him a better student.

"Tiger Woods is dating Donald Trump Jr.'s ex-wife, who kept Trump as her last name," I say. Forty-thousand bees descend on me instantly, killing me in seconds. That was the magic sentence, it turns out. The relief is immense.

As a people, we've been in global decline since smack barm pea wet.

Shoutout to torpedos for getting through hardships.

no matter what the circumstances, democrats are always saving their energy for a mythical future situation where they will do something good

Joe Rogan is essentially Radio Reddit

My daughter is now on social media, and is doing the dark Lord's work.

Comeback, George Carlin, we need you now.

Tariffs and measles in 2025. Feel like I'm taking crazy pills

It would be really cool if the Democrats tried to fight these fascists half as hard as they fought Bernie, for 2 presidential cycles.

Am I nuts or did he just put Elon Musk in charge of the federal government? I'm obviously nuts... right?

Danzig probably at home, eating soup and watching cartoons right now

Drake (sadly): bumbaclaat

Decide right now which side you're on

(GIANT KAIJU EMERGES IN THE ATLANTIC OCEAN) ugh can we not? sorta got a lot going on rn