My cat staring up at me for a licky treat

Caturday vibes from my hallway

The entire country: Trump is going down!!! Bill Clinton:

Find someone who believes in you the way my watch believes in me.

Tonight is even better than when we thought he died.

I have unmedicated ADHD and I just renewed my drivers license before it expires in November. Please clap.

Please enjoy my texts with my daughter in law about my 4yo granddaughter’s shenanigans this morning. 🤣🤣

Now is a great time to donate whatever you can to your local food banks.

Big turnout today. Westmont ➡️ Collingswood.

Give me a nose boop and tell me I’m pretty. 😻

This my good friend Bob. He is the best Bob around and I’d like you to read about his important work.

Being disabled and caring for a terminally ill parent is really hard. Some days I feel like I’m drowning. Today is one of those days. Not looking for advice, just venting into the universe.

He has a great point.

High how are you?

I pulled up to get gas this morning and the car across from me on the other side of the pump had Paul Revere from the Beastie Boys on blast. So I did what any good person would do and joined in. So there we were, two strangers rapping at the gas pump. And it was beautiful.

Follow me for more toe beans and mediocre shitposting.

Today, after a lifetime of being medically gaslight I was FINALLY officially diagnosed with Hypermobile Ehlers-Danlos syndrome. I wasn’t lazy. I didn’t need to just exercise or lose some weight or do yoga. I wasn’t exaggerating my debilitating pain. This is what validation feels like.

The world is hot garbage. Please enjoy these toe beans.

White House dropped this totally real proof of life photo.

Clementine Caturday. 😻

So the cat distribution system has graced our household once again. This baby was found with a deceased sibling and is about 3 weeks old. She gets bottle fed every 3 hours and saw the vet yesterday. Please say hello to Clementine.

I received some art from @tinyarms-tinyart.bsky.social and I love it so much. The tiny drawing of my profile picture is amazing. I love you and your artwork so much! Thank you! Also go buy my friend’s art!

My granddaughter told me I smell like unicorn farts in case you wanted to know.

All about preorders!

Our friend Cassie and her nephew could use some help with back to school items. If you’re able to help here is his Amazon wishlist bsky.app/profile/kwee...

Roses are red Violets are blue I want his red blood cells To stick together like glue

When the Beastie Boys said AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH i really felt that.

I’m having surgery tomorrow and I’ve had zero cannabis since Sunday night and I don’t know how some of you are just out here raw dogging reality but I can’t wait until I can eat my weight in gummies on Thursday.

If I were in the BB house I’d ask Rylie where he was on Jan. 6th, 2021. #BB27 #BBSky

Quick, while all the “Christians” are in church let’s go block Fox News from their TVs.

I wonder how many puckered buttholes there are in the WH hoping he doesn’t share Azealia Bank’s latest post.

what perfect album came out when you were 16?

I’m fully convinced that Trump’s DOJ arrested Epstein just to ☠️ him. Now the coverup. Im old enough to remember when 3 of his top executives died in a helicopter crash (Trump bailed from the flight last minute) in S Jersey. Then he blamed them for his casinos going belly up. The pattern repeats.

So racist Hulk Hogan died. Did they raise his arm 3 times to be sure?

Happy Shark Week Eve! 🦈 Be sure to chum the water before throwing your worst enemy in the ocean! (for legal purposes this is a joke)

We are cooked folks.

I've got my prints on sale as I switch shops, printers, and offerings! There's not a ton of options because this is a clearance sale. New shop with originals, new prints, stickers, magnets, and pins are coming soon! ko-fi.com/mysticbedhea...

Live your life in such a way that the whole world doesn’t celebrate your chronic venous insufficiency.

If Karoline Leavitt says he has chronic venous insufficiency then the actual truth is much worse. I mean LOOK AT HIM.

The same people who screamed political persecution when Biden’s DOJ carried out a lawful search warrant at Mar-a-Lago are now absolutely losing it about Biden not releasing the Epstein files. I can not with these dumb mother fuckers.

“They’re eating the lists!They’re eating the files!”

🎶He’s here, he’s there, he’s every fucking where ROY KENT! ROY KENT! 🎶

🎶He’s here, he’s there, he’s every fucking where ROY KENT! ROY KENT! 🎶

BREAKING 🚨 There is a CAT CAFÉ opening up near my house. A CAT CAFÉ!!!!!!!

If you know what #TeamFunFeeds means we should be friends #BB27

I’m not sure if my area should take cover or bend over.

Will someone come and wrap me in my weighted blanket like a burrito?

Is there a US Ambassador to Siberia because I feel like that’s where Pam Bondi is headed

“Ya know the Epstein files are radical left inspired documents?”

I got really stoned and spent 5 minutes saving boner gifs to my favorites…Don’t tell me I don’t know how to have a good time.