“No leaf-eaters in the Navy. Also, no meat-eaters in the Navy. No people who require food for sustenance in the Navy… Haven’t you heard? We serve this now:”

The vending machines at my high school were only allowed to dispense “healthy juice drinks” and because this was from SoBe they were stocked in the vending machines. We probably were SOLELY responsible for keeping the market afloat during these years because everyone was drinking one at all times.

Somebody must have already done a “dark and gritty copaganda reboot of Blues Clues” comedy sketch, right. It just writes itself. “There’s a knife covered in blood over here in the doorway… guess I better write this down in my handy dandy notebook.”

Did you hear about that new movie about the very small car? Minnie Driver is in it.

Watching Alex Jones get his own special Hell-on-Earth is something I am loving

Holy crap, guys. His approval rating is down 300%.

As Katie said, this *is* fiddly and complicated! It’s not weird that the average American has trouble wrapping their head around this because the way we do math instruction here is fucked. It is absolutely justifiable to hold policymakers accountable for understanding concepts like these though.

If you haven’t played Control, you are cordially invited to play Control. I don’t like shooty games generally, but I made an exception and I’m so glad I did!

Something I love about music starting in about 2012 and continuing today is that there’s an abundance of artists who imprinted on the soundtrack to Sonic The Hedgehog 2 on the Sega Genesis when they were young, like baby ducks.

🎵We’re goin’ down, down In a Scooby Doo town. And sugar, I am Old Man Jenkins. Dressed as a raci’lly insensitive spirit… As long as no kids start meddlin’ I’ll get away with it.🎵

The only "Unc Gamer" you'll ever hear me talk about is *MY* Unc who works at NINTENDO. He says the Switch 3 is going to come out on my birthday and it's going to come with a luigi's mansion game where all the ghosts have faces of people you actually know in real life

They’re going to say that this will be done with AI, but it’s gonna be controlled by Person With DualShock Controller Being Paid 5¢/hr. You mark my words.

I for one believed this to be a Ralph Lauren ad due to the nearly identical logo and overall aesthetics. This belief made me think less of and be less inclined to purchase Ralph Lauren.

I will never be able to get over Da Juggz on Castform.

It’s profoundly ignorant to suggest that the Pope should be fighting crime on behalf of the Catholic Church. Anyone who was remotely familiar with Roman Catholicism would know that that’s what Daredevil is for

We’re playing a long game, but we’re winning.

It’s like they’re looking at what I’m currently playing and saying “how can we make NMS more like…” They’ll do Blue Prince next, lol

We are watching as a man slowly shrinks down and becomes a corn cob in real time.

just to be clear, everyone, when 8 pm EDT comes and goes, regardless of what does or does not happen, the president still threatened genocide and war crimes and we should still impeach, arrest, and try him

I don’t know how to express this more clearly Every time you do a war I’m against it I’m against it in all forms I’m against from All sides I’m against the careless loss of life

I guess we're just waiting around to see if this demented psychopath kills everyone: defector.com/i-guess-were...

Happy International Asexuality Day!

throwback to a few years ago when easter, passover, and ramadan all overlapped on margaret thatcher's death day

Headline - “FEMA Official says he Teleported to Waffle House… it’s Equally Probable he was Driving Under the Influence.”

We’re doing funny posts from the old place, yes? Is @thepunningman.bsky.social on here? (Appears to be yes!)

A good week for the Cabin in the Woods “The evil is defeated” reaction image.

Tired: Explicitly teach cursive handwriting. Wired: Explicitly teach grammar and syntax.

People keep trying to make me play caffeine games, but I only have eyes for weed games.

There are many works of fiction that taught me not to aid and abet people who are trying to kill your friends. That One Children’s Series is one of them. Even separating the art from the artist, THE GODDAMN ART ITSELF is telling you what is the right thing to do here.

Takes like this drive me absolutely bonkers. It’s insulting to sex workers and it’s insulting to mental health workers. People who provide a service care about their clients! They care that the client gets what they need and they care about being a good practitioner!

Oh boy, sounds neat! Unrelated: remember this thing?!?!?!

Since Daphne has already had made The Best Joke and then had The Correct Take, no one needs to do any more jokes or takes! We’re all good here!

Taken out by Gandalf the Grey, Gandalf the White, the black knight, Benito Mussolini, the Blue Meanie, Cowboy Curtis, Jambi The Genie, Robocop, Terminator, Captain Kirk, Darth Vader, Lo-pan, Superman, the Power Rangers Bill S. Preston, Theodore Logan Spock, The Rock, and Doc Ock as was prophesied

Kid at work: “Did you… dye your hair or something?” Me: “No, the big change you’re noticing is that I shaved off my beard.” Kid: “Oh!” Me: “When I choose to dye my hair you will know because it will be PURPLE!”

People when they’re telling me to take time for myself: “Haha fuck yeah!!! Yes!!!” People when I actually DO take time for myself: “Well this fucking sucks. What the fuck.”

How’s this for an accurate campaign slogan for 2028: “Vote Republican: Fuck them kids”

yeah honestly I think of the frontrunners either Kat or Biss will do a good job and, well, if you really believe in Primary Everyone she went out there and actually did it regardless of whether or not she wins this was a net positive campaign for her to run and I hope more folks follow suit

Yo @dantendo64.bsky.social, @skellyton27.bsky.social, and @daphenistration.bsky.social… does this move the needle for you?

Friendly reminder this tax season that friends don’t let friends use TurboTax. I’ve been using FreeTaxUSA for years and it is free for everyone (there’s a slight charge for state filings) and at least as easy to use as those other guys.

“Hello, I am extremely low hanging fruit for foreign intelligence agencies to make into an asset” he seemed to say.

This week can fuck right off, as far as I’m concerned. Like imagine the farthest you could expect something to fuck off. Farther than that.

6 hours ago me didn’t even know that present me needed to read this, he just posted it because he thought it was beautiful.

Make & model of your first car is a common security question on websites.

If you’re an appreciator of finely designed playing cards, are a Hanafuda aficionado, or have never played Hanafuda before but are looking for your new favorite card game, you’ll find none finer than Junior Cards. Strongly recommend taking advantage of this sale.