First morning back in the states and I’m already missing Vancouver. Here are some highlights from my trip (despite me not taking photos of everything) 🧵

Vancouver, I’m no longer inside you 😔

happy 4th

Vancouver, I am inside you 👁️🫦👁️

Do I have any bloomfs in/around the San Antonio area? I might be going there for work in October 👀

Honestly, the IKEA double hot dog needs more meat. It leaves something to be desired (◡‿◡✿)

So tired…but I must go to Costco for glizzy…🫠

I don't know who needs to hear this, but if you are working with a ticketing system and you need support with something, please explain what the issue is (in detail) in the ticket. The amount of tickets I've gotten that just say "I have an issue" with no other context is astounding 😵‍💫

Sometimes I think about the fact that 9/11 ultimately led to Ellen DeGeneres’ demise and that brings me joy 💖

Only 24 hours left to enter! Good luck, everyone! 💖

I wish He-Man would call me His-Hole 🥵

Want a free room spray? I'm holding a tiny giveaway this week. It's totally free to enter and it helps spread the word about my lil side hustle. Every cutie who shares this can have a lil smooch too 🤭

Want a free room spray? I'm holding a tiny giveaway this week. It's totally free to enter and it helps spread the word about my lil side hustle. Every cutie who shares this can have a lil smooch too 🤭

CRISPY CHICKEN 🍗 FRESH LETTUCE 🥬 THREE CHEESES 🧀 RANCH DRESSING 🥛 WRAPPED UP IN A 🥗 TASTY 😋 FLOUR 🫓 TORTILLA 🌯

Apparently I’ve been wearing the wrong shoe size pretty much my entire adult life. Turns out I’m supposed to wear a size 11.5 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Candles not really your thing? Need to set the mood or cover up a multitude of sins? Two new Room and Linen Sprays are launching this week! Refresh and Renew drop June 12th at 12pm Pacific. Use "PRIDE26" to save 15% off any order this month. Happy Pride! 🌈💖

Pokopia DLC, a new Xenoblade, and an OoT remake? Plus Switch 2 upgrades for the existing Xenoblades and a KH4 teaser? AND a HD-2D Final Fantasy Brave Exvius rework?! Baby, I’m eating good 🤭

need to be choked by he-man

In bed with an upset tummy and a woozy head. What did I do to deserve this? I’m just a silly lil guy 🥲

Tried to make tinga and ended up making chicken ragu. That 0.1% Italian in me is strong 🥴

Seeing my daughters again? It’s more likely than you think 😌

I'm on a diet and all I wanna do is be a big back so bad 😭

My account got restored! 🎉

Bsky suspended my alt… I just wanna look at oomf’s nudes 😭

The hot guy at work just got fired Pray for me during these difficult times 😞

After much back and forth, the train tickets and hotel for Vancouver have been booked. It’s my 1st time leaving the country in 20 years 🥳

Fuck it, Zordon Mamdani

In random work-related side quests, I was the “voice of god” and introduced an Emmy award winning broadcast journalist 👀

I think I killed my yeast 🤭 Time to start another batch of dough

Time to dust off the kitchen aid, slap on an apron, and start baking again. Today, I'm making bagels 🥯✨

My CPAP is trying to kill me. Around 2am last night, it went into turbo and would not let up. It felt like the mask was trying to fly off my face too 😵‍💫

GET IN THE ROBOT, ALPHINAUD

I put shorts on for the first time since the end of summer and I’m gooped. I’m two entirely different shades 😭

If I put Dr Pepper in my CPAP machine, do you think I’d wake up feeling good and nice? It’s medicine after all 🤔

Me, sending Boo to steal a star in Mario Party:

This time next week, I'll officially be in my Darth Vadar (CPAP) era. May I finally get restful sleep 😵‍💫

Whose dick do I gotta suck at Taco Bell corporate for them to bring back the full sized taco salads? The minis are cute but I yearn for the original.

On today’s trans day of visibility we shall not forget this diva

My baby (car) is in the hospital (shop) again, but at least I get to eat at this bougie Taco Bell 😌

Want to fold him into a pretzel so bad. 😫

All I wanna do today is look at fat cocks and play pokopia, but alas — I’m forced to participate in capitalism (work).

Look at my precious babies 🥹

Fair question

Had a cute lil late lunch date at Halgatteok in Federal Way for Valentine’s Day with my bb @jofig92.bsky.social 🥰🥰🥰

The annual tradition continues 🎉 Bienvenu à Cirque du Soleil 😌 w/ @orso-xl.bsky.social

good morning! fuck AI

I can’t fully gather my thoughts right now. Every aspect of that show was intentional. La Casita on the field, the piragua cart, the tíos playing dominos, Ricky Martin singing “Lo Que Le Pasó a Hawaii”, the power lines, every bandera on the field. Utter perfection. Gracias por todo, Benito 🥹

‘the only thing more powerful than hate is love’

I miss her and I want her back 🥺