It’s Fat Cock Friday ✨ Gobble gobble 😏

First hot pot of the season 👁️🫦👁️

I can’t stand when I’m at work and they actually want me to work

Y’all, I pay too much rent for my bedroom window to *literally* come off the hinges. This is ridiculous 🙄

PDX bloomfs — I’m thinking of visiting next month for my birthday. Any recommendations of things to do while I’m there? 👀

omg i'm actually crying -- this is so unreal 🥹

Pray for me, girlies. I need these tickets 😭

USPS: We delivered your package! Parcel Pending: You got a package! Here’s the access code to the locker! The Locker:

Y'all, I'm honestly considering getting a chunky orthopedic shoe and sacrificing fashion for comfort. Pray for me in these difficult times 😔

“It’s October 3rd!” “It’s TLOAS release day!” “It’s Jocktober” “It’s Locktober” Babes, it’s Fat Cock Friday 😮‍💨

Now that it's October, if you have a thirst trap with a horror movie mask on, you are legally required to show me. I don't make up the rules 😌

Having to work in-office on a Sunday is incredibly homophobic 🥲

opening sniffies with no intention of hooking up

I tried to schedule a podiatry appointment with Kaiser, but there were no openings this year. So I had them refer me out to another provider. I spent 40 minutes on-hold with UW Medicine and got told: "We don't have your referral, so we can't schedule you today" Healthcare is a joke 🥲

I’m not entering my own contest (obviously) but you can! All it takes is a few clicks for a chance to get a free gift 🤭

Bruh

SCREAMING CRYING THROWING UP I’M SEEING MY DAUGHTERS AHHHH LE SSERAFIM w/ @orso-xl.bsky.social

My morning meeting was cancelled and this was the official notice. I think we’re finally starting to fall apart 😭

The day is finally here! The shop will re-open at 12:00pm Pacific with an entire restock of all candles (and a few new merch items as well). And as a treat, use BSKY15 at checkout for 15% off your entire order! Enjoy ✨

me when my alarm goes off in the morning

Jollibee really is that girl 🤤

Y’all, I haven’t played a Digimon game in YEARS, but I’m definitely going to grab this new one. I need Leomon to carry me around everywhere 😮‍💨

Currently.

🍑 Say hello to Peach Emoji 🍑 This cheeky candle mixes sweet peach with orange and a touch of musk. It's sweet, playful, and a little flirty 😉

Twilight Princess (GameCube Virtual Console) Mario Kart World "Classic Mode" Option Xenoblade Performance Patches Legends Arceus Performance Patch Cooking Mama 👁️👄👁️

I know food trends come and go, but can someone explain to me America's literal obsession with adding protein powder into everything?

🩷 𝕥𝕒𝕜𝕚𝕟𝕘 𝕒 𝕟𝕚𝕔𝕖 𝕨𝕒𝕝𝕜 🏙️

A fourth gray hair has been found…

✨ Meet Citrussy ✨ Juicy blood orange and a sweet-tart kick of goji berries are sure to give you a rush of euphoria ⚡

J0miCrafts now has a dedicated bsky account! Follow for product news, promo codes, and behind-the-scenes goodies ✨

I might make a third bsky account so I don't bother folks on main with stuff about my candles 👀

I’m full of wisdom 😌

Welp. There are now three (3) gray hairs in my beard. It's all over for me 🥲

I need someone to explain to me why all YouTube thumbnails look the same these days and why they always look like they are one step away from gooning 👀

Modern medicine is wild. What do you mean I take a little white pill made of pressed powder and I magically start to feel better? It’s absolutely bonkers.

Been in the hospital for 4.5 hours and I’m ready to go home 😭

Pro-tip: Save at least one (1) day of PTO for when "it" happens. Just in case 😌

Good thing I ordered a test batch of labels -- the original size was just right. A brand new batch of candles drops in September featuring updated labels, revised fragrances, and two new scents ✨

10 years ago today, I arrived in Seattle 👁️👄👁️

The Blue Angels can eat my entire ass. Stop wasting money on jet fuel and do something meaningful 🥴

Whenever the imposter syndrome hits, I just whisper to myself "Jennifer Lopez" and I feel so much better.

David Corenswet 😮‍💨

Vivi is all of us.

I need whatever demon that entered my respiratory system to leave. I don’t like feeling sick 😭

Mimi-ちゃん: 私のファンを攻撃しないで!! Raven-ちゃん: 私が見た限りでは、そんなに多くはないですね!

I wanna get back into my baking era, but oomfs are trying to be healthy. Who’s gonna eat all of the leftovers? 🫠

The work server has been down for more than two hours. That means I get the day off, right? 👀

Making @orso-xl.bsky.social watch Charmed for the first time. Let’s see how it goes 🤞🏽

Alpha-5 was right, “"aye-yi-yi-yi-yi!”