@weratedogs.com did I accidentally adopt a kangaroo?

Lily watched Zoolander and decided her Blue Steel is better.

Ah crap, eastern New Mexico is going through Instrumentality.

@hooverdam.bsky.social I found your shirt

Every time I hear a kid named "Ronan", I assume they're two seconds from yelling "J'Accuse!"

The Nobel Prize committee should announce the World Cup winner tomorrow

Update:

Mmmmmmmmmm, the taste of Vecna

"A...I. What's the A stand for?" "Artificial." "What's the I...?" "Intelligence." "Oh... what was the A again?" "Shut up, Caboose." #aws #reinvent

A better automatic native AWS security agent? Lily is intrigued and wishes to subscribe to your newsletter. #aws #reinvent #awsreinvent

As the other Beck said "I'm a loser, baby" - he was clearly talking about Glenn.

If you know you're going to lose Mariahpocalypse, why not just go hard?

Worst Pokémon ever. 300GbEAmon or GTFO.

Come on, AWS re:Invent. Is anyone going to get a tattoo of an S3 bucket called "Mom", really?

Damn. Southwest Airlines is harder core than I remembered.

Look, I get that one razor blade is old-school, but don't call your own product lame.

Are you not watching the MLS Conference Finals? Then Lily is judging you.

AWS is doing amazing things with system cooling. They've gotten down to Absolute Zero! (yes, I know what this really represents, don't um actually me)

Isn't this just... Half?

Overheard at HEB this morning: "Wait, you're telling me vinegar smells like that because it's Jewish?" "...what are you talking about?" "You said it smells that way because of the Hasidic acid." "ACETIC ACID. ACETIC!"

Are you sure it's not because you're doing a Dukakis In A Tank photo-op?

Why, yes, yes there is. "I'm retiring because I am clearly bad at this job now."

If any large sports investment firms are out there, why not buy #brfc?

Phrases only appropriate at restaraunts: "Are you 17?" "No, I'm 14." "Oh, haha, my mistake. Someone else gets this straw." ...never change, fast food. Never change.

Well, damn. That trashes all of my vacation planning.

Na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na na Bat Dog!

I mean, I can't be the only person to only see the first 5 characters of this name, right?

I was on YouTube and got an ad for a Christmas ornament of the Grinch eating ass?

Hey fellas, why don't you come up and... see me sometime

"Who's your favorite Kamen Rider?" "I dunno. Kabuto maybe?" "Mine is Geiz." "Huh. Why?" "'Cause Kamen Rider Geiz nutz!"

Canonically, which Kamen Rider always loses verbal duels? Kamen Rider Drake (I am so sorry)

Happy 150th Birthday to Blackburn Rovers Football Club! You've been a huge part of my life, brought me joy, brought me pain (so, so much pain), but I wouldn't change my decision to support Rovers for anything. Also, as is tradition - F*** Burnley!

@hooverdam.bsky.social is this what being a Revs fan feels like?

The official drink pairings of #LAFC 's 4 goals against #austinfc

You know what? Screw it. We're in "number go brrrrr" territory.

Whelp, now 3 dumbest. Maybe 4 if you include letting Uzuni take that.

Those are the two dumbest things I've seen watching Austin, and we used to be coached by Josh Wolff.

FINALLY NICO ESTEVEZ LISTENS TO OUR ADVICE

You know, if you're going to proselytize on Halloween, maybe pick something, ANYTHING, other than the objectively worst candy.

My favorite composer and yours. Oh, no, my mistake.

That's right world - I PUT ON MY ROBE AND WIZARD HAT

I want to ask every Halloween-becostumed dad I see dressed as Ted Lasso what their thoughts are on inverted wingers.

The MLS commentary team seems like they're trying to advertise a new sitcom...

This may be the most niche joke I have ever made.

Hey, what ex-American football player is the first name in jet engine parts? Al Cowlings.

So, uh, is that therapy to cope with collaborating with an invading Nazi force, or therapy to make you collaborate with said force? If the latter they must be doing bang up business in DC.