Update: I no longer desire a second Aussie.

It’s 7 p.m. the Tuesday before Thanksgiving. Let’s drop this couple in a grocery store and see what happens.

There is an Aggie at the table next to us.

I am well behind my baking schedule and I didn’t buy enough white chocolate so we are gonna have to work hard to catch up. We’ve got pie crust and pumpkin chocolate chip loaves made. Think I’m gonna focus on the elements of the pumpkin pie and the cookie dough tonight.

I see that Lizzo has an essay out about weight loss and “why are all the big girls losing weight” and she mentions the Ozempic Boom and … I’m tired.

Hmmmm.

We are minus one decorative gourd this morning. Don’t worry, the Aussies are on the case.

This is very Louisiana specific, but I have an aunt who scoops from the bottom of the gumbo pot, taking more than her share of the shrimp. One year, while cooking the Christmas Eve seafood gumbo, my other aunt accidentally poured from pepper grinder into the gumbo and peppercorns fell in. (1/2)

I spent like ten years trying to perfect the technique of my grandma’s apple pie filling, trying so many different ways — thickening with corn starch, cooking the filling in advance — and one year I said “Dad? I think I did it!” And he said “oh she used the stuff out of the can.” I was fuming.

Marriage Chipotle Crabs

Matt Moscona just compared Ed Orgeron to John Quincy Adams, they’re so out of stuff to talk about in the LSU coaching search.

Not even Thanksgiving yet and I already have a first degree gravy burn.

LET’S 👏🏻 GEAUX 👏🏻

Double trouble. (Parish’s brother Biscuit is staying with us for a few days.)

It’s Rivalry Week! Can’t wait to play our bitter rival :: checks notes :: Oklahoma?

Happy Monday to all of us Stupid Stupids who didn’t take the entire week off from the Email Mines.

All of the cleaning has freed many tennis balls from Dog Toy Purgatory and Parish is loving life.

I’m accepting no Actually Turkey Is Bad Thanksgiving takes because 1) I grew up in a house where my Dad injected the bird and then smoked it, 2) I am a dark meat stan and 3) we are getting catered turkey this year because my Dad has an infusion on Tuesday, so just eat the turkey people serve you.

@hollerin-bout-the-cocks.com 3%!!!!

Did I finish everything on my 31-item cleaning and prepping list? Hell no. But by my count I got 14 done and a bunch half done and I just opened my new floor mirror and it’s broken so we are tapping out for now.

Do not under any circumstance look under that little toe kick beneath your cabinets. What is under there is horrifying and none of your business.

Just casually adding to my Baking Tasks like this is normal

Rise and shine, bitches, it’s the Sunday before Thanksgiving and we’re steam cleaning errthing.

I just got served a Facebook ad for a $7600 stylish couch with recliners and USB chargers, maybe I’ll just get the faux leather one with bosoms.

there are two wolves inside of me: one wants to post silly things and the other wants to talk about the government they’re both socialists

A hearty fuck you to Brian Kelly just cause

Please make it stop

They’re showing a picture of Martin Van Buren because he has the same last name as LSU’s quarterback, fire everyone

Lane Kiffin is watching this LSU game and telling his agent $90 mil ain’t enough.

Can I call 911 if LSU is trying to kill me

AND YOU CALL ME UP AGAIN JUST TO BREAK ME LIKE A PROMISE SO CASUALLY CRUEL IN THE NAME OF BEIN’ HONEST I’M A CRUMPLED-UP PIECE OF PAPER LYIN’ HERE ’CAUSE I REMEMBER IT ALL, ALL, ALL

I don’t know what a Hilltopper is because we don’t really have hills.

I just had to explain Theo Von to my parents.

Quick pre game cocktail 🥰

Did I finish a task on this list? No. Did I start 10 tasks and buy drawer organizers and a bigger basket for dog toys? Yes.

I went to a new nail salon that is somehow completely efficient organized chaos and I’m both stressed out and finished in under an hour and my nails look great but also what just happened.

I have madeleine pans coming because I have an idea.

:: taps the sign ::

Good morning, Parish has been sleeping on the floor in the corner of the hallway to make sure we stay put at night and we were wondering if he would sleep in his bed if we put it there. I fear I know where the bed lives now.

Anyone posted this one yet?

I’m going to smother myself with a pillow

WE WILL NEVER LEARN

Manfriend just said he’s making cookies tomorrow … but he’s making Oatmeal Raisin cookies so is he really

I swear if anyone tries to Hand It To Marjorie Taylor Greene

Good news: I made a printed pre Thanksgiving Cleaning List. Bad news: I keep bouncing around and not finishing a single task on the list.

Excuse me, Ma’am, have you been herded today

Peak WFH is when you just keep your morning skin care at your desk.

Manfriend told me he appreciates that I communicate when I want to go out and do something on the weekend instead of just magically expecting him to know. That’s right, ladies, be Type A.

New Orleans ICE/border patrol tip line: 504-221-1499 PLEASE SHARE! #neworleans #ice #louisiana

Please save me from this hell