Greetings, humans who have hatched humans: what do you want postpartum that a friend can provide? I want to be as helpful and available as possible without being intrusive. What would you have desired most in early baby stage?

My besties have kept a human child alive for an ENTIRE week. I continue to cry, which is so bizarre as someone that had never been a baby person. She’s perfect. I never could’ve imagined this level of infatuation. Who am I???

My friend printed stickers of #FriarGus and I am about to be ungovernable with places he is stuck upon

So we are just supposed to have a full day of no World Cup and act like it’s NORMAL?

2(8)-3

You get a car(d)! You get a car(d)!

My dad’s and my communication is at an all time 10/10 #PapaPaul

1) welcome all to the Norway fandom. 2) don’t worry, we know what next year can bring

We can’t trust men to do women’s jobs.

Let’s geaux boys (?)

🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣 🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣🚣

Neymar vs Haaland could be a case study of how to be the least vs most likable person.

HAALAND SCORES ROW

‘Tis I, walking my Very Brave Dog Bred to Hunt Vermin™️, as he cowards behind me after seeing a lizard. #FriarGus

I’m outside bebe’s room and hear her squeaks, and I’m already tearing up.

I was crying in my living room My mom thought I broke my leg (again) when I called her to tell her I’m so good at this already

BABY IS HERE I AM SO HAPPY

One of my best friends may be in labor right now based on her location and isn’t texting me back What could possibly be more important than telling me she’s hatching I’m handling this SO WELL

Can someone explain this red card situation plz and thk u

SPORTSBALL IS STRESSFUL

Princess Diaries level of glow up after the spa today for #FriarGus

Can we find out if Harry Kane has ever had a hurricane? I feel like it’s meant to be his cocktail.

TIL the world's new favorite himbo once bought a 13th century copy of one of the Norse Sagas for $150,000, then donated it to the library because "I'm not much of a reader."

HAALANDDDDD GOALLLLLLLL

GOALLLLLLLL NORWAYYYYY #FriarGus

He’s cheesing hard as he tries to help a rival team at trivia (they have snacks) #FriarGus

Setting bars high #WorldCup

#StickPic with my lil man #geauxvote

as a longtime fan of cape verde’s soccer program (two weeks), it’s such a thrill to see them succeed on the world stage

2 years of the being Mama to the best little man. I’m so lucky to have had the opportunity to adopt the good Friar. #FriarGus #Gotchaday

God this man really does get all the best celebrities

Update: lil man has been reunited with his family!!! He’s very adored and only 7 months old. Slipped out of his AirTag and ran under a fence directly into a mudpit in true puppy fashion, which is why he was so dirty. His family is so happy to have the baby back!

Happy Gotcha Day to Norway’s smallest fan #FriarGus

When is Dr. Congo on call, and in what speciality?

I got to finally meet the legendary Garyana Elizabeth Biscuits today, and she was absolutely perfect. #nolasky #nolatwitter @malber1.bsky.social

Hello, #nolasky! This lil fella approached my friend this morning in Midcity. He’s not snipped or chipped. Seems to be a young sport. If anyone knows/recognizes him, please let us know so we can get him home! He was very stinky but had a bath and is a complete sweetie. #nolatwitter

Gus’s friend peed on him today. Again. My poor, subservient little guy. #FriarGus

Wild time this evening- a man sitting next to me had literally never heard of endometriosis. As someone with Stage IV endo and multiple surgeries in, this is like someone never hearing of citrus fruits. Just completely different existences.

PUT A WOMAN IN AS REF YOU THINK A WOMAN WOULD BE COMPLAINING OF A CRAMP??? #worldcup

I believe this World Cup is doing wonders for the man bun revival. #worldcup

Gus does NOT know this man, but he has been chosen as his World Cup friend. #FriarGus

Biiiiiiiiig fan of (looking at) the Bosnian keeper. #WorldCup

Gus is somehow snoring louder than the thunder and tornado alarms. #FriarGus

🌎🏆🧢👻 #messi

Please enjoy some belly scritches on the last night of our mini vacation #FriarGus

Messi, man. Can’t make it look easier than that. Just absolute perfection.

I want the flag system of a Brazilian steakhouse but to signal if I’m interested in being alone, friendship, or flirting. Because sportsball is NOT the time to attempt to woo me. I’m way too invested to be interested or interesting.

Norway fans are rowing their way up the escalators in Boston

HAAAAALAAAAANDDDDDD GOALLLLLL #norway #worldcup #rowrow

I figured it’s raining but I’d get wet in the pool anyway. He doesn’t see it the same way, so he’s sitting 1 foot under the roof, judging why mama would be in the rain AND a giant bath simultaneously. #FriarGus