Looking at the Bills/Eagles game, and I think we're gonna have to put @peterberkes.bsky.social in a bag of rice.

Tonight I ate 7 fishes. And several Manshattan.

I was itchy because I didn't have an international trip booked. Problem, solved.

For Christmas, I got the party surrounded!

I have absolute proof my neighbor is a conservative Christian. Weeks leading up to Christmas, they have a sign up about how "Despite the circumstances, Joseph and Mary CHOSE LIFE." Day after Christmas, after the baby is born? Sign's gone, they apparently no longer give a shit.

This is definitely a "Day After Christmas Itis" Bowl. The Chips are not fired up.

Did I just have a stroke

I am hurt that none of you got me Snoop Dogg's coat for Christmas

So, before baking.

In medias res.

It begins.

The best scene in A Christmas Story is when Ralphie snaps and absolutely beats the dog out of Scut Farkas. Let's bring that energy into the new year.

Merry Christmas, y'all.

@hollyanderson.bsky.social oh hey, I meant to tell you- they opened a Scooters coffee near me, and I went a while ago. It's a coffee-flavored sugar delivery device. So they exist outside Nebraska, but I'm never going back.

I just realized it's Miami v OSU. The Valtrex Bowl?

Easiest tomato soup ever. Fresh tomatoes (frozen from my garden) onion, garlic, 6 hours, then heavy cream salt and pepper. And a stick blender.

Guy has been dragging his feet getting me a thing on a case where I'm really just helping out, not charging. Just said he is gonna have it to me tomorrow. Sir, what part of Christmas Eve is unclear to you? I'll do it Monday. Maybe.

Kinda want one of those bean bucket hats

Louisville is thinking bout thos beans.

Making The Sauce today, as well as slow cooker tomato soup. It's gonna smell GOOD up in here.

Bari Weiss is a useless twat.

Bobby Petrino.

Good. Now set the building on fire.

Should have let Christopher Plummer sing.

/taps sign

"WE HAVE AN UNUSUAL RULING."

I need an adult

This is going to suck so hard when they lose

That is some Steelers bullshit

Will the LOINS shit their way to victory? 2 minutes to find out

Can the Lions fly home after this?

Hey! If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like Brad Holmes, the Lions GM, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here!

Goddamn, Hutch

Tracy Wolfson: "Jared Goff bought his O linemen all golf carts for Christmas." Goff immediately sacked by like, everybody.

Disappointed we didn't get to a hundred

What a move by Olivia Olson there

Stock for days.

It smell good in here.

An absolutely magnificent Freudian slip! 🤌🏼

Jujitsu Jim sent me

MILLER NEEDS TO BOX.

HIT HIM AGAIN.

This Montana/Montana State game is a fight with a pillowcase full of door knobs. They do not like each other at all.

Fighting with Nik and Jerkwheat notwithstanding, a thing I'd do regardless for fun, I really don't care that much who Michigan's next coach is. It's kinda meaningless while the big useless turd is AD, the Regents are who they are, and the whole thing is no longer very much fun. I hate the playoffs.

It's not all bad news

Come now, Oklahoma, I wish to have options.

@spartysubs.bsky.social asked me to lunch at what may be a North Korean money laundering front. 10/10 would recommend.

We love to get the email settling one of our outstanding cases on essentially the last working day of the year, don't we folks?

I love my two blackout drunk Minnesota sons

My penis can only get so erect