Out this time next week. Final Destination - the paperback!

I've got two books to deliver this year, but I still suspect that this will be the best thing I come up with in 2026.

London to Manchester before the microwave goes ping (43 seconds, I just worked out.)

17,500mph is quite fast.

I keep seeing "all authors use AI, the real issue is they're being forced to be sneaky about it" headlines. Full stop No. This is a lie peddled for normalization. It's schoolyard-level pressure tactics "C'mon, all the cool kids are already doing it. We won't tell. It's fine. We're on your side."

The Uggs Don't Work

This is not an April Fool’s joke. Tickets for my one man umbrella man show at the Edinburgh Festival are now on sale. 21 performances in total so you really can’t say you have other plans. Be lovely to see as many of you as possible. Book here - www.edfringe.com/tickets/what...

Whoops www.adidas.co.uk/italy

Another World Cup without Italy. Extraordinary.

Home Bargains flapjacks rule.

Lithuania's response to the hike in petrol prices: slashing train fares by half for two months.

The Four Brothers were terrific. Had the pleasure of putting them on at university. Top fellas. Marshall the drummer/singer was knocked out that I knew his name. They were famous inside my head.

At least a dozen years ago, I wrote a piece for WORD magazine on famous folk who went to school together (Nicole Kidman & Naomi Watts, Lauryn Hill & Zach Braff, Cameron Diaz and Snoop Dogg etc). Just learned of another one I should have included: George Bush and Victor Kiam.

Sad news, his gentle, daft humour was a joy. RIP Glen Baxter

40 years and one week ago precisely, The Wolfhounds got our first feature in the NME, courtesy of Jerry Thackray. I rushed down to WH Smith in Romford, snapped one up and read it – twice – on the fountain wall. I'd been reading the magazine for 10 years by that point. It was all downhill from there.

Golden retriever runs 15 feet after owner mimes throwing tennis ball

The Stone Roses as Peanuts characters. An old one from a few years back, drawn during my ‘peanuts-period’.

Do the recycling collectors lie in wait until I need to go out, then suddenly appear so they can block the road? Every time.

that’s quite a short flight, even for twenty five quid

Yup, behind the door of my parents' bedroom. Next to the snooker table. That's right. A snooker table in their bedroom. The only room big enough to take a 6' by 3'. You had to kneel on the bed to take shots at the baulk end.

Go on then, since you asked. This is the ‘he’s already dead’ Simpsons meme in live form. Andy was prepared for the cheap ad hominem about his level of education.

We go again. #TOTP

I wish @dannykellywords.bsky.social a peaceful and restful Friday night after what must have been an unnerving, uncomfortable week.

After utterly dominating Paris–Nice, Vingegaard puts a minute into his rivals in the last five km of today's stage in Catalunya. Both the Giro and Tour are going to be tremendous judging by his form.

Bit alarming in the Volta a Catalunya.

When there's no more Updike or Roth left to read, what's a man to do?

- Roy Hodgson (aged 78 years, 230 days) at Bristol City. First managed in 1976. - Lennie Lawrence (aged 78, 105 days) at Hartlepool. First managed in 1978. - Neil Warnock (aged 77, 116 days) at Torquay. First managed in 1980. Insane!

Might be the greatest opening paragraph of anything ever.

2026.

Last night's GAME Q&A at the @princecharlescinema.com - with @iandunt.bsky.social asking Qs and Marc Bessant, Me, John Minton & @jetfury.bsky.social doing the As.

I do still love The Smiths but this tweet is my favourite piece of Morrissey-related media.

General erection etc.

After a win in Paris-Nice and two in three days in Catalunya, Godon is going to be hard to handle in sprints at the Tour.

Handsome proofs Congrats @graemethomson.bsky.social And thank you to Paul Palmer Edwards for design and Stephen Lovell-Davis for his beautiful photo Out 21st May

Hugo Bostik?

The perfume of someone on this train smells like PVA glue.

Off to the audiobook studio for a morning of reading out loud.

There are still tickets available for our Dusty Springfield afternoon with Lucy O’Brien and Jana Varga on April 19, at The Betsey Trotwood in London. It’s going to be great - everything you were wishin’ and hopin’ for… 🤔

Right. To the football.

Hearing Ipswich Town have renamed their stadium Deportman Road

Penny Rimbaud, later of Crass, receiving records as a prize from John Lennon on Ready Steady Go, 1964 🤯

Ratcliffe's charm offensive shows no sign of faltering. "Tony Riley, whose father-in-law played for United under Sir Matt Busby, is among 1,100 supporters forced to move under cash-boosting plans overseen by Sir Jim Ratcliffe."

Commissions Available! Get in touch to discuss any potential projects, from logo design, book covers, infographics, match programme covers, and architectural illustration @charleswatts.bsky.social @nigetassell.bsky.social @adamski152.bsky.social @alexhorne.bsky.social @thornbridge.bsky.social

Brabazon and the West Innovation Arc sounds more like an early OMD album than a new town. www.theguardian.com/society/2026...

Brabazon and the West Innovation Arc sounds more like an early OMD album than a new town. www.theguardian.com/society/2026...

Just done the bins and recycling several hours earlier than normal and now sorting out the washing while listening to John Walters' Idle Thoughts on BBC Sounds. I think we know who's the winner this afternoon.

cc @campbells.bsky.social

Last Sunday.