I can't take this any more - I'm off for a twix

Haaland off?

I'm unusually, with Dixon, Spence bought it, but the Norweigian defender was selling.

Whenever Bellingham is not in the box all the other players should be asking "Where's Bellingham?"

Matterface wanted to take him off a minute ago.

James in in centre mid. Mainoo be like..

"don't you know who I play golf with?" #NorEng

Why can't a Noni mishit cross fly top bins?

90 mins till kick off and I’m already falling asleep.

I ain't reading all that. I'm happy for u tho. Or sorry that happened.

There’s no excuse for AI slop. I’m out, Spoil Your Ballot.

Whilst giving my cat a cwtch she’ll often hear me say “my cat’s breath smells of cat food.” “It’s funny because it’s true.”

Obvious joke may be obvious but… www.instagram.com/reel/Dao932A...

Rolf Harris did some great cartoons. Just to throw that in.

First watched this a few months ago when @chrisbaker108.bsky.social sent it to me to watch the first minute because he knows how I feel about being offered an americano when I ask for filter. But I watched the whole thing and couldn’t believe my ears… youtu.be/0HdzJz_evNw?...

draw you own conclusions about propaganda/ scaremongering / psychosexual hangups

Holy shit the accuracy

Glassholes 👏👏👏

“Overwhelmingly Awful” -Craig Revel-Horwood.

British Museum 2027: Tapestry you say… delivered in a crate… well I’ll see if I can find it… one minute.

Good luck getting that back.

Dont want to be remembered as an awful person? Try not being an awful person.

Friday's TGT is the phenomenal Kelsey Pfendler - who rowed the mid Pacific, solo and unaided in the fastest time ever. Beating previous female record by 6 weeks and previous male record by a week. This girl can! And she wants to inspire others to hard things - Be the conduit. bit.ly/TutorGroupThink

That did not live up to the billing. France too good.

Good night

What’s that, Dale? You want to give me an unconditional personal gift of £5million to do whatever I want with? Sure! I just need to fill out a form. If I didn’t declare it that would be silly.

Friday's TGT is the phenomenal Kelsey Pfendler - who rowed the mid Pacific, solo and unaided in the fastest time ever. Beating previous female record by 6 weeks and previous male record by a week. This girl can! And she wants to inspire others to hard things - Be the conduit. bit.ly/TutorGroupThink

Another round-number Birthday as one of the most recognisable people on the planet turns 70. Discuss your tutees favourite Tom Hanks role (Turner & Hooch, obviously) his childhood, living in ten houses by the age of ten and why he's the most trusted man in America. bit.ly/TutorGroupThink

Hamad Butt’s Familiars. What sums up the fragility of life more than a playful set of suspended flasks of chlorine. Except if you play with them, you die.

Just done my first intervals session in about a decade. Think I’m gonna be sick.

Duke of Edinburgh Awards have been enriching lives since 1956! That is awesome.

“You’re wearing your bin?” “What else would you expect, mate.” “What’s your appeal to the people of Clacton?” “I’m not Nigel Farage” … … …

Another round-number Birthday as one of the most recognisable people on the planet turns 70. Discuss your tutees favourite Tom Hanks role (Turner & Hooch, obviously) his childhood, living in ten houses by the age of ten and why he's the most trusted man in America. bit.ly/TutorGroupThink

This is journalism

People who are not in the UK. This is not a comedy show. This is UK politics right now.

On the contrary Nick, everyone will be paying attention.

Alan Shearer: "When the referee goes back to VAR for Egypts goal & cancels it due to an interference at the start of play, but doesn't go back to VAR for Agentina's winning goal despite 2 interferences at the start of play... then we're watching a "theatre" not a football match.

Hannah Spencer stealing the show again. Get ready for her reaction.

Just talked to my old friend Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes.

Nigel Farage versus a man who dresses as a bin.

Isn’t there a Seinfeld episode where George was fired / quit and refused to acknowledge it. Something for Farage to consider?

Argentina are quaking in their boots having seen that. A group of Austria/Algeria/Jordan. Cabo Verde, Egypt and Switzerland. What a route to the semi finals. Someone sure is smiling down on Argentina, and it's not just Ally McCoist.

Can we send this two both home and Egypt have a do-over and another go at Argentina?

the year is 2030. Spain, Portugal and Morocco are hosting the world cup. 46 teams are in attendance. Meanwhile in Vancouver, BC, in the fourth year of the penalty shootout between Colombia and Switzerland, the score is 0-0