they're just really banking on us all being too distracted by all the chaos in the world that we're not even going to notice whsmith suddenly becoming tgjones

your honour, i would say i estimate that i probably think of the 1987 sci-fi classic 'batteries not included' at least once a fortnight.

who the hell is telling all these instagram accounts thst "Comment 'blah' and I'll send the link to your DMs :)" is a good idea? cos i fucking hate it, thanks.

can't believe I'm at 'enjoying the last night of the proms' point in my life already, but here we are

It worries me that, if we're not careful, we're going to forget all about the woman who was conned by the fake brad pitt hospital photos

not to be one of those "never heard of him" people but i don't really know who this charlie kirk is. which means I've been successful at my 'stepping away from all this noise online cos it's not good for my mental health' mission.

seriously craving some macaroni pudding despite not eating any for about a quarter of a century

it's here! it's here! deck your halls, stairs & landings with boughs of old phone cases & charging cables! sing carols of ringtones gone by! give thanks for what we're about to receive - gather round children, it's National Phone Emergency Alert Test Day!! 🤳🚨🥳🥂🙏

I can

I swear every day there's a story about a fucking choir on bbc breakfast

i knew there was a reason why I've kept this in my Downloads folder for the past 10 years #eastenders

might as well just make this a lazy nostalgia account now

kids today will never understand the utter thrill of seeing the first tv shows recorded in jan 2000 & looking out for MM at the end credits instead of MCMXCIX

sorry i wasn't listening, just thinking about the primary school assembly in 1995 when the head played michael jackson's earth song as our 'walking in' music as a change from vivaldi's four seasons x

i miss the slightly unhinged good ol days on ebay about 15 years ago when feedback like "amaAAAAzing ebayer A+++++++++++++ wowweeeeee incredible best ebayer everrrrrrrr!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" was totally normal

So... 23 August. What shall we celebrate? The 13th anniversary of one of the finest exchanges in Twitter’s... distinguished history?

ummm? *waves from the uk*

getting the baby to nap so you can watch bluey in peace

saw some white dog shit earlier. made me want to collect green shield stamps

wonder if barry white was okay with everyone calling him 'the walrus of love'. feels a bit harsh tbh

not being funny gang but i feel like there's an anniversary for ww2 ending every other week at the mo

my teenage daughter was not impressed by me taking a pic of this sign but *marge holding a potato saying 'i just think it's neat' face*

dreamt last night that I bought a second hand motorhome & it was full of gross dusty old rosie & jim dolls. good morning.

just had a lovely Mother's Pint in a beer garden

the problem with having a baby who's been sleeping through the night since she was 5 weeks old is that whenever she does randomly wake up in the night you're like what. the. hell. is. this.

Just taking my birth certificate with me on the big shop in case I need a piss in the Asda customer toilet and the toilet bouncer doesn't like the shape of my skull

sorry just thinking about when alfie from eastenders started working at the minute-mart & had to go to birmingham for 2 weeks of training

Good morning. My memories show me that it's been 10 years from I found whatever the fuck this is in my kids colouring book 🫥

just remembered jack monroe

it's fucking mad that they took characters from the jungle book and put them in tailspin.

Sporting photo of 2025 #Lionesses

gone pink for a bit innit

i know it's such a cringe, old person thing to say, but listening to fontaines dc really makes me feel 17 again.

please be aware that if you have an 'ai lover' that i am judging you with the strength of a thousand suns

that note from serena wiegman def said "score goals x"

might just upload a photo of all the rennie packets in my handbag to prove my age instead

god bless the binmen in this heat 🫡

In 1 picture, show me why I should unfollow you:

✨️TOP TIP✨️ Instead of doomscrolling yourself into oblivion, why not try reading a list of all the aldi own-brand names instead?

st vincent is amazing as always.

neil young, what's going on with the keyboard m8

i walked down the aisle to this father john misty song ❤️

just my luck that both times pulp have reformed I've been either pregnant or with a newborn. saw jarvis solo & just realised that was 17 whole years ago... 🫠

Hungary banned anything that “promotes homosexuality,” which means Pride. However, today over 500,000 people in Budapest told the government to fuck off. 🏳️‍🌈🏳️‍⚧️

i only really take photos of the baby & my garden these days, so thought I'd flip the camera and say hi for a change :)

it reached 1.7 million by the end. feel like helen should get a percentage of the licence fee for that tbh.

RECREATE the sweet sounds of the 1975 at home by simply getting a middle aged child of a daytime tv presenter to play the blandest supermarket music they can manage. I've got Barney Walsh round, he's setting his Casio Keyboard to Samba.

neil young constantly changing his mind about being broadcast on the bbc

a cunt in 1970, a cunt in 2025.

i had to do ONE rant. sorry, but the 'we're not going to say anything political cos we like your friendship & your money :)' bullshit comment really pissed me off.