I spoke to Mitch McConnell for 20 minutes this morning. He said…”3 o clock.”

You’ve heard of the Midas Touch? Well this is like that, but it’s poop. He turns everything into poop.

BAHHH HAHAHAHA EVERYTHING TRUMP TOUCHES DIES

It’s okay @lucyjames.games everybody shits their pants at one point or another.

My sister in law is stranded at the airport with an indefinite delay because of Trump’s masturbatory day of flyovers. Happy birthday America!

CAPE FUCKING VERDE!!!

stopping a one on one messi shot with your dick is a generational story to tell

mad how the defining cultural image of Steamboat Willie is Mickey whistling and driving the boat, and not the bit where he plays a pig's nipples as a musical instrument while it shrieks in pain

KINGDOM HEARTS 4!!!!

You cannot convince me at all that the Knicks lose that game if Trump doesn’t attend and the fans are forced to go through TSA lines hours before game time and no foot traffic is allowed in Midtown and no watch parties outside the garden. Just immaculate fucking the vibes up. Great job Dolan. SMD.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! FUCK YOU GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY CITY! #nbafinals

@minakimes.bsky.social MINAAAAAA got my first 17-0 thanks to you!

Oh my god this fucking game.

You fucking killed it @lucyjames.games ! Congrats!

BIGBY YOU MAGNIFICENT BASTARD! #summergamefest

"FOR TONY SCHIAVONE! FOR TAZ! FOR EXCALIBUR! FIX YOUR HEARTS OR *DIE*!!!!!! *THIS* IS ALL ELITE WRESTLING!!!!!" - @shutupexcalibur.bsky.social #AEWDynamite

@bowensofficial.bsky.social I’m at the show. You did fucking awesome tonight congrats on a great match!

It’s Fuck ICE forever. #AEWDON #wrestlesky

Bell-to-bell, I think my favorite wrestler today might very well be Bandido. #rohsupercard #wrestlesky

Best commentary team in wrestling right now? Frankly, it’s @ianriccaboni.com and @capricecoleman.bsky.social and it’s not close. #rohsupercard #wrestlesky

Congrats @truthmagnum.bsky.social on your first ROH title! You guys deserve it!

Watching real fucking graps tonight. #rohsupercardofhonor #wrestlesky

kinda funny how Republican voters are inarguably happier when a Dem is president. they don’t actually want to be in charge of shit, they want to roll coal and whip themselves into a frenzy over wholly imaginary liberal tyranny. now they’ve caught the car and it fuckin sucks

🎶Your own AI Jesus Someone to kill some trees While you're on your knees Your own AI Jesus Overly expensive RAM To save you; not damn Reach out and hallucinate...

American Christians when they talk about the Pope

Oh wow a new podcast "two cenrist dickheads just asking questions" can't wait

We’re getting the apocalypse before GTA6.

Democrats are seemingly incapable of coming up with one coherent thought that isn’t backed up by focus group data. It’s insane.

@sarahlongwell25.bsky.social I heard your take on Hasan Piker and was very disappointed. As somebody who spent so much time listening to Trump voters on your focus group, you really aren’t listening to the big coalition on the far left that you’re going to need to defeat Trump.

John Cena announced as the host for Wrestlemania 42. Wow, ticket sales must be BAD bad. #wrestlesky

This really is an encapsulation of what being an American is: experiencing something needlessly cruel and profoundly stupid while propaganda you can’t turn off blares about how free and lucky you are

Fuck it, for one night only, he’s Michael Jordan. #oscars

EEEEEEEJAAAAEEEEEEEE! #oscars

Honmoon fucking sealed. Give them the Oscar now. #oscars

No James Van Der Beek on the #oscars In Memorium feels like a snub. I know he was primarily known as a TV guy but he should have made the cut for Varsity Blues alone.

Democratic leaders and media properly attuned to reality would be acting as if January 6 had effectively never stopped and the insurrection had just spread and deepened, because that’s basically what happened

This game is about to release into Early Access TODAY and I have a spare giveaway key. I'll post it into the replies for anyone to grab once this post reaches 500 reposts

It blows my mind daily that we barely survived the first Trump presidency & the American people decided to do it again. No amount of propaganda should've made anyone forget. It's hard to come to grips with just how fucking stupid the "average" American really is.

Not today, Satan!

@kenjennings.bsky.social YOU HEARD THE MAN BRING BACK @katienolan.bsky.social!

@commandersterling.bsky.social I’m playing Date Everything right now and I just got to what brand of tweezers I like with Barry Styles and I grinned like a Cheshire Cat seeing that Creedle & Crabnuts makes tweezers!

a lot of commercials do a really good job of making never want to buy anything

Racists were so concerned about Bad Bunny they completely forgot about Lift Every Voice and Sing.

@chriswarcraft.bsky.social Without going into specifics or naming names, how far right was the NFL locker room when you played? Feels like nearly every player is MAGA.

Eat shit, Puka Nacua. Got plenty of time to stream now.