"[Since the '80s], private equity has gobbled up £1.2 trillion in assets across Britain, a greater proportion than any other advanced economy... everything from schools, daycare centres, dentists and care homes to water companies, vets and even bucolic little villages in the Cotswolds".

This one?

Some useful advice at the bottom there on how to get that elusive "barbecue effect"

Confirmed: #SmallProphets, Mackenzie Crook's new series, begins Monday 9 February at 10pm on BBC Two. If you liked #Detectorists, I think you'll enjoy this. Not that they're alike, but because they share the same spirit and humanity. I ❤️ it. Feature and review in next week's @radiotimes.bsky.social.

this is still the best thing ever posted on twitter

hey folks, six figure opinion columnist here and gotta say, made a big ol’ whoopsie on the most consequential and honestly, probably the most obvious opinion of my life. thats my bad. anyway, guess I’ll just keep getting paid to give my opinion, thanks for reading

Morning all. Outside the Divis Flats, Belfast, 1978. Photographer Chris Steele-Perkins.

the feel-good film of Sundance is a documentary where a community stands up to immigration officials, tells them to fuck off, and wins www.avclub.com/everybody-to...

Another friend put it to me like this: "ICE has made the classic Nazi mistake. They've invaded a winter people in the winter."

Always a good time to revisit @michaelhobbes.bsky.social and @notalawyer.bsky.social's delightfully excoriating deconstruction of this particular bullshit artist and his signature text...

I was the interviewer there. 2013, which... seems like a long time ago 😕

[sombrely, with tears in eyes] "truly the people of Iran embody the great spirit of Flumpo The Fart Wizard" - author of Flumpo The Fart Wizard

Delighted to have received a grant from a submerging writers foundation, which supports mid-career authors while they age, procrastinate and feel their early promise ebb away. Grants like this are essential to the production of unmarketable work of limited appeal.

this looks like it was lab engineered just for me

Bowie: The Final Act review – the critic who made the star cry is stunned by his own disrespect

The Night Manager review – no naughty bum-flashing? It’s still a class above all other spy thrillers

Yep this is basically what I thought

Annual round-up of my most important, commented-on or influential writing of the year: [Nothing of note in 2025]

TikTok film guy who deserves more followers imo www.tiktok.com/@idlemild?_r...

The political reasons are (unless you're professionally invested in not seeing them) so myriad the only issue is what order to rank them in, but an underrated one maybe is Starmer/Reeves being so personally charmless. On the most basic level they are an insane pick for an ongoing popularity contest

Just wanna reach out to the me of six years ago who sat through a primary school assembly with the theme of "celebrating the books of David Walliams" and say: you were right to silently wonder if this was really a good idea

This show is really, really good

BOOK-RELATED HIVEMIND LONGSHOT REQUEST: can anyone identify this children's book of the 1970s/80s from this incomplete and possibly inaccurate synopsis?!

Chris Hemsworth remakes the Limmy "Millport" sketch

Ok but this is totally something Charlotte Church would do

Keeping the Mani tribute simple with Love Spreads three times in a row 👍

Turner: The Secret Sketchbooks review – the sheer number of pornographic drawings is a big shock

BOOK-RELATED HIVEMIND LONGSHOT REQUEST: can anyone identify this children's book of the 1970s/80s from this incomplete and possibly inaccurate synopsis?!

"I'm Sorry I'll Read That Again" appears to have popped up from the start on 4 Extra. Series 1 from April '64 started yesterday. Quite muted, with a long way to go before it becomes the prune-filled punfest we're familiar with, but a fascinating start. Listen here - www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b...

I’ve written about wonderful new comedy Leonard and Hungry Paul

This photo of Robert Bloch is the most writer photo to have ever writer photo’d. It is Pure Writer Photo.

Let's make hope normal again. youtu.be/qxt4HCjd7VA?...

Joe Wicks @thebodycoach.bsky.social and Chris Van Tulleken highlight lax labelling regulation by developing a deliberately harmful "healthy" protein bar. Great review by @jackseale.bsky.social and excellent programme. #UltraProcessedFood www.theguardian.com/tv-and-radio...

How Are You? It’s Alan (Partridge) review – nothing else on TV has this many laugh-out-loud moments

House of Guinness review – James Norton’s pheromones positively sizzle off the screen

The Covid Contracts: Follow the Money review – a devastating picture of the biggest spending scandal ever

This book has affected me in ways I really didn't expect. In summary: boy emerges from childhood with anger, insecurity, paranoia and anxiety issues, these are never dealt with and they near enough ruin his life, including the brief interlude where he's a huge pop star who makes three classic albums

"I just want to say, go birds, fuck ICE and free Palestine," "Hacks" star Hannah Einbinder at the #Emmys

Best Charlie Kirk/Tyler Robinson explainer I've seen: vm.tiktok.com/ZNdgYMUxa/

THE ROSES ⭐⭐⭐ Leads both great but script is all over the show, they don't hate each other until waaay too late and the beats to get there are an awkward mix of relatable foibles and cartoonish awfulness. Wacky romcom friends (Samberg, McKinnon) feel like refugees from a different film

Don't know when I've seen a film as... messy as this? Lots of good moments but whole sections of it don't make sense. Theory: it was running to 120 minutes and someone said, make it 90, and by doing that they've broken it

One of my favourite Beach Boys biopics

Guardian house style is SO annoying, changing "that's" to "that is" immediately makes this joke 25% less funny and the unnecessary addition of "(1 metre)" doesn't help either

At a bar where they're trying to please the younger, portrait-video crowd by playing the viral TikTok sensation 'Sultans of Swing'

Introducing my new series of detective fiction, 'Reverend Pulfrington's Little Crossword Murder Club'

The correct winner ✅

Spied my nextdoor neighbour in his back garden yesterday, gluing a Subbuteo pitch to a sheet of hardboard... this morning his daughter's car is outside, I heard Happy Birthday being sung and now there's the oohs and aahs of a match in progress! Nice one Grandad 😍

🚨WOOP WOOP! THAT'S THE SOUND OF THE POLIS

A little while ago, my parents' cat Bridget went missing. As the weeks dragged on, they became extremely worried. My dad devised a way to distract himself: he began to paint Bridget's adventures, imagining her travelling through time and popping up in some of art and music's most iconic scenes.

One ep to go and I don't think I care about any of the storylines in The White Lotus