it's been almost 12hrs since my run and i still feel like a whole bus ran me over. now i have to crawl my way to get some takeout bc there's no mf way i have the energy to cook 🥲

i just accidentally ran 5mi in an hour (note to self, don't take an extra-strength edible before a run 🫠) and, not even six months ago, i didn't even think i could do a 5k 🥳

having to work today, the friday after a holiday, should actually be illegal. at least i have my kindle with me to sneak & read under my desk, but that doesn't change the fact that i should be HOME, goddamnit 🫠

22/27 years of my life have been experienced at my best friend's side 🥰 she was the first friend i ever made in kindergarten and we've been inseparable since! we also have the rhyming names and matching initials; you'd assume we're twins if i weren't black & she wasn't a yt brit lmao

i'm not a christmas person, so i'm by myself for the holiday! today's nyra-mas eve prep consists of a dispensary run, and then a stop at my favorite poke place. tonight, i'm gonna smoke the free pre-roll i received w my order, do some yoga, and curl up with my cat & a good smut book on my kindle 🥰

so, i was trapped in a lyft with a hypebeast demon for nothing, bc the training that i was commuting to was cancelled and they didn't think to tell anyone that it was cancelled besides just taking the event page offline and not editing the calendar invite that we ACTUALLY used to rsvp 😃 [eye twitch]

trapped in a lyft with a lightskin hypebeast driver playing drake x dj khaled, honestly just k*ll me now bc this is hell

i finally started using magnesium spray after a year or so of not using it, and the way i knock tf out the second it dries on my feet omg. it's like i get snatched into dreamland by my ankles 😭

in 2026, i gotta learn to cut people off the second they express any jealousy of me. bc the way this has been the worst year of my life & people who've come into my life this year have told me how jealous they are of XYZ and they immediately get SO weird after they express it 😭

Also, the words are: POSITIVE/UNDETECTABLE or NEGATIVE. NOT “clean” or “unclean/dirty.” Thank you. 🤗

i'm doing a deep clean right now & i'm using my new multi-purpose cleaner from my fave small business, they supply the base product & you can have scent added to it. i added lemongrass. i forgot the base product was a concentrate & now my apt is BOOMING, like i'm literally suffocating 😭

yeah.... don't ask me to do a turkey trot ever tf again. because why was it 20 degrees and snowing 😭 (i'm definitely doing it again next year, i'm just mad that it was so cold lmaoooo)

A reminder this holiday season: Your fat friends/family can hear the way you talk about food. Please don’t let your disordered eating be our problem.

in my defense, i was in an abusive relationship & he had already cheated. so i texted this guy while i was out w my friends (bf was out of town) and told him to come over. he'd been telling me for months that i deserve better & he'd treat me right, so i told him to "show me better".... he did 🤭

EYE personally think strip clubs are cheating, idc idc. and it's not the strippers i'm worried about, it's the raggedy ass men who go there 😭 i refuse to elaborate further

what did beyonce say? "i look like i can't cook, and that would be accurate" 🫠 one thing i CAN make is eggplant lasagna, though 😚✌🏾

genuinely, my stubbornness 😂 i think being stubborn can be harnessed for good if you try. my stubbornness mostly comes out when i gotta prove a raggedy ass mf (or my raggedy ass inner critic) wrong. it motivates me SO much!

just found out that it's gonna be 25 degrees & snowing during my turkey trot tomorrow--

one of the coolest things about ChatGPT is how you can actually just never use it. you can fill your whole entire life with simply not once using it. it's incredible.

getting an earlier start to the day means there’s more time to focus on vengeance

i'm about 5lbs away from my goal weight after completely taking my focus off of losing weight this year 🥲 100+lbs gone for good!!! i used to struggle with a restrictive ED *baaaad*, but this year i've been smashing pizza & just moving my body every day, and THAT'S what got shit moving lmao

The CDC has turned off its vaccine search tool. The vaccines.gov site now gives an error when you enter a valid zip code. They also removed text saying “Vaccines can help you stay healthy” and added a banner saying the site is being updated.

i really just finished a whole day of work & decided to take a run instead of sit in bed and doomscroll (my typical weeknight routine lmao), like i'm really that bitch AND i'm that nigga fr

i'm almost two years sober from alcohol and, today, i had ordered some kombucha on tap at a place where it was (probably) sitting in the keg long enough for it to ferment more, increasing the abv, and smelling/tasting more like rosé (my fave pre-sobriety).

i have a male imstacart shopper, please pray for me 😭

i know we've all laughed about the worm and the affair but this is a profoundly dangerous person who should be expelled from the government.

i truly won bc my career mentor is a gay white man w/ a black husband who has 1) never hit on me and 2) never micro- or macro-aggressed me and doesn't allow anyone else to either 🥰

i'll never forget the time this guy kept trying to talk to my friend at this bar & she was VERY clearly uncomfortable, so i told dude "move or i'll move you." he didn't move, so i did indeed move him by grabbing the back of his neck and dragging him. and then i learned he's a co-owner of said bar 🤭

Need a fat blunt, back rubs, and backshots 🥺

today's interaction reminded me that men are SO fucking adorable and sweet and funny when they want to be. and men can flirt without making the situation feel weird!! and that i LOVE being flirted with by adorable, sweet, & funny men 🥰

i just got sweetly catcalled by some construction workers who told me i was gorgeous & apologized for "using such foul language around a pretty lady" bc they were cussing each other out while i walked past 😭

i really hope christians (ESPECIALLY american christians) realize soon that they're actually worshipping some kind of demiurge and not an actual god... or that their god IS a demiurge, honestly. bc clearly only one kind of prayer is being answered rn and it's not from the "good" people!

waking up & immediately hopping into animal crossing bc i'm off work all week >>>>>

Has to be rough on parents checking their kids candy for weed gummies to realize it’s a made up moral panic and also they don’t get any free weed gummies

who else is restarting their animal crossing islands to optimize their layout for the new update? 🙋🏾‍♀️

In 2020, the police killed George Floyd and black people responded by setting the police precinct on fire. And I will be proud of us for that forever.

Check on your folks, especially the elders, the disabled, the chronically ill, and the single parents. Survival mode can pull us deep into isolation, but we were never meant to carry any of this alone.

I wear the leash in the relationship

i don't even save men's names in my phone unless you're family. i didn't save my last boyfriend's number until month 4 of the relationship 🤪

no bc literally WHY did my ex break up with me, after abusing me for almost 3 years, just to spend a longer amount of time than we were in a relationship for to stalk me 😭 men are PATHETIC!!!

not my ex still trying to digitally stalk me after five years..... like, fuck, get a new hobby you loser 😒 username changes are coming just to protect my sweet lil safe space here, just a heads up ✨

these next few days you are going to see a lot of weaponization towards the less fortunate but remember this: Homelessness is not a crime. Being homeless or becoming homeless is never a choice; it is due to circumstance. They are still human and deserve safety.

INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE SECOND INTERVIEW WITH THE VAMPIRE OVER ZOOM TO MEET MORE OF THE TEAM UNFORTUNATELY, YOU HAVE NOT BEEN SUCCESSFUL ON THIS OCCASION, BUT WE HOPE YOU'LL APPLY FOR FUTURE POSITIONS WITH THE VAMPIRE

“I bet you bitches go 50/50 now” in response to snap and EBT getting cut is not a “gotcha”. You’ve openly admitted that it takes societal collapse for you to even imagine a woman accepting your meager contributions. You a rodent nigga. Vermin.

Halloween is consistently the best night of the year. I just ADORE having the entire neighborhood out talking and giving each other things and wearing cute outfits. Babies on my doorstep. Spoiling teens with extra candy. I wish the neighborhood always hung out like this

so lemme say this RIGHT now before that button even get here... IDNGAF how many dislikes my posts get

Everybody wants to be a cool bisexual until you’re elbows-deep in doc martens trying to find a match

Men feel so emasculated, insecure and threatened by powerful independent women. Men feel that their “manhood” is rooted in female submission and when women don’t submit to them they cannot fathom it.