Seller: Good news! Your order has shipped! Click here to track! UPS:

Breakout rooms, you say? That's my cue to leave the call

Jfc so far I've had a woodchipper and now a leaf blower outside my apt since I got home from work 🙉

Just a heron on a trash can

Thinking abt this again. It would work a bit like Cameo but instead of celebrities it's extroverted, sociable people who are confident on the phone. You select the type of call (work, appt scheduling, etc) and write them a prompt. Cost is based on complexity and how urgently you need it done

Is there an app where you can connect with people willing to make phone calls on your behalf for a small fee? Because I'd use the hell out of that

One dog did this in two minutes. Original post

might fuck around and make some Sleepytime tea

Is it just really bad allergies? Is it a sinus infection? Or is this just the slow buildup before a full blown head cold hits? These are the fun questions I'm asking this morning 🫩

Flight delayed about 3.5 hrs so far 🥲

my throat is sore and it hurts to swallow please god no 😩

Obligatory lighthouse photo because I saw a lighthouse today

I took an edible and finally watched this in it's entirety and had the time of my life 😆

AND SO WE MEET YET AGAIN, RABBIT WOMAN

age is hitting millennials like the 2nd airplane

I've lived alone most of my adult life, to the point I've lost all tolerance for sharing a space with someone. Currently staying with family and absolutely about to lose my shit 🙃

Colbert unrestricted is going to be amazing

I'm staying at an airbnb and found this daily oracle book. Let me know if you'd like me to randomly choose one for you 🧘‍♀️

LOL last night Stephen Colbert spent an hour hosting public access "Only in Monroe"

Noooo it's 4:56am and my Uber driver is chatty

not sure if I'm more jealous of Pedro or the puppies, this is so adorable youtu.be/sDMhITZIMqU

I've got the night-before-a-flight jitters made worse by the fact I have to be out the door by 4:30am 😩

When the show first aired, ep 6 was my fave for the longest time. Then ep 4. But more and more I favor ep 7 because everything to do with this dumbass treasure hunt is so fucking funny. We deserve more Ed and Stede advinchas dammit

Something to remember when things don't go our way, when someone (or many someones) disappoint us, or when we want to succumb to the sadness or anger that can come with things ending. What a model of how to live a life.

Ah this was so joyful and such a 10/10 song choice

If ALF tried to eat one of my cats I'd beat the absolute shit outta him and toss his battered body into the landfill

Nothing like getting a call from your dad when you're 2 hours into the gummy

❤️

You've got a little bit in your beard #ofmd

Do you ever get random episodes of air hunger where you keep having to yawn to get a full breath? Been doing it all day and i hate it

"Think back to your childhood. Do you remember when the anxiety started?"

Bevis and Butthead keep it real.

These were the days. I used to live for these tosses

Hanging on Shouldn't let go If i let go All will fall Fingers bleeding Down to the bone now Can't let go Nothing makes sense Hold on Hold on Hold on....

my first Ed is also in meme form 😌

qrt with the first edward teach you can find on your camera roll 🫦

ffs bluesky

The VERY YOUNG FRANKENSTEIN series from the WHAT WE DO IN THE SHADOWS team is officially go at FX.

Clients are pissing me off today 😤 BUT I just received the 3 shirts I ordered online and they ALL fit perfectly 🙌

Pick a Bond villain from the photos you already have on your phone Holy shit i need this to be real

debating whether to make this a productive weekend or a do absolutely nothing weekend

Blanket on, desert. Kick the blanket off, arctic. Blanket back on, sauna. Kick the blanket off, cryogenic chamber. I just want to sleep 🥲

gotta get a little shoulder pat in

I need this edible to lock in and do something already

Tried to identify this legend but all I can find is that his name is Marshawn

Absolute horses ☹️