"So you know Murphy's Law? That anything that can go wrong will?" 'Yeah' "Well, do you know Cole's Law?" 'No, what's that' "It's cabbage chopped up with vinegar and mayo"

This is Exactly Why They Don’t Like Us ….. 🙏🏽🙏🏽✊🏻✊🏼✊🏽✊🏾👊🏻👊🏼👊🏾😎

Why are cybertruck drivers the WORST at parking

Today is Nakba Day. The ethnic cleansing of Palestine began 78 years ago today and it has never stopped.

A friend was very sorry he made fun of my shoes in front of everyone. Later that day in the bar, he apologized and offered to buy me a drink. I accepted his apology, and the drink of course. However, I told him: don't forget... ...I was wearing two shoes. 🫪😁😉

All together now! ... "But Nige did take five million quid, and Nige would take five million more!" 💥💥💥 #RefUKkers

If American history was taught correctly.

Notice how a book can make you gay, a vaccine can make you autistic, a mask can make you sicker, and a poster of the Ten Commandments can make you moral, but guns don’t kill people.

Jewish communities are living in fear amid rising antisemitism, including these appalling arson attacks. We must confront this. At the same time, antisemitism is being weaponised to shut down criticism of the Israeli government. Both are true. Both deeply concerning. Both Antisemitic.

There really is no such thing as race. We all came from Africa. We are all of the same stardust. We are all going to live and die on the same planet, a Pale Blue Dot in the vastness of space. We have to work together. — Bill Nye

My wife and I have a secret to making our marriage last. Two times a week, we go out to a nice restaurant and have a good meal and a nice glass of wine. She goes on Wednesdays and I go on Fridays.

When movies were shot on physical film, the film was measured in feet. This is why any recorded thing is now called ‘footage.'

Cartoon by Graeme MacKay 💯🎯

It’s hard to blame woke DEI when the military is losing a war because of the straits.

Who else eats the thing they hate the most first to get it out of the way? Maybe it's cause I grew up in a "clean plate" family where I can't waste food, everything needs to get eaten. I just eat the shitty thing first

"Politicians and diapers must be changed often, and for the same reason." - Mark Twain #Truth

Enjoy the oil fuckers. It's the red variety. www.aljazeera.com#flips-639020...

My statement on U.S. strikes in Iran

The most hilarious thing about today is Reform blaming their loss on Islamists… …who famously always vote in their masses for women and gay Jewish men.

Silver-lining…somewhere, right now, Matt Damon is sad.

It is the progressive ideology of Bernie Sanders and AOC that is winning these races not the democratic party . Do not be fooled, the democratic party is owned by the same billionaires that own the republicans. Don't let them steal your victory.

“Melania” is truly the worst experience I’ve had in a theater” -Abraham Lincoln

Wisdom told us that the first casualty of war is the truth. It is with this wisdom, we know the US federal government has declared war on its own people.

A video of Alex Pretti reading out the final salute of an unnamed veteran he cared for until the end of his life in the ICU, posted to Facebook by his son.

Dr. Gladys West, the pioneering mathematician whose work laid the foundation for modern GPS technology, has died. She was 95.

I think it’s basically time to retire the peace prize because it really is meaningless at this point. Another 100+ year-old tradition cheapened, wrecked, and discredited by the gauche garish gangster.

I don't understand why the conversation condemning the ICE officer murdering someone in Minneapolis has to mention that the individual was 'American' or 'white'. Do non-Americans and non-whites not count when it comes to murder? (Rhetorical question - you don't need to answer it.)

No one in corporate America or on Wall Street has denounced the actions of the criminal Trump administration. They are not to be admired.

It is impossible that the US wants a functioning and real democracy in Venezuela. This would mean the US giving up claim to Venezuelan oil and letting Venezuelans control its reserves. Unfortunately for the Venezuelans, democracy is not happening as long as they have natural resources.

How dare Venezuela break international law? How dare Ukraine? Taiwan, Iran and Greenland definitely mustn't. This is a shameful statement from Canada. Not a proud day for us and perhaps we are too weak to resist becoming the 51st state and our government should resign.

Timezones are so weird. Australia is in 2026, Canada is in 2025, and the United States is in 1939.

News yesterday: 40% of food sold in grocery stores goes to waste in Canada. Today's news: grocery prices are expected to be higher next year. They would rather throw the food away than sell it to you at an affordable price. This has to STOP. Now. Lawmakers do your job. Make some f-ing laws.