I have turned on the Cubs

Jesus what a cannon

Sometimes I’ll pee in the toilet with the seat down due to profound accuracy. But then I’ll flush and some water will splash up and get on the seat, and it’s like the toilet is trying to frame me

BREAKING: Captain Geech And The Shrimp Shack Shooters have withdrawn from the Freedom 250 Celebration

captain geech and the shrimp shack shooters

And this is a kid who's done with kindergarten.

Glad we've got this guy for five years!

Today, I truly became an old. I am fucking mad as hell about school bussing policy.

Ian Happ stans think he's the player at PNC no matter where he plays. Please take him, Pittsburgh.

Retooled Freedom 250 music lineup

I was so mad I didn't even notice this didn't say consecutively Anyways bullying works!

I can watch them again!

But was Bregman almost in the Air Force?

I beat him at Words with Friends once

If Slotkin is the nominee (she won't be because she sucks) then we're so fucking cooked.

I am chaperoning my kid's field trip today. Pray for my soul.

Number 199

Cut him right fucking now

I had to switch back to my old phone and I'm not getting at bat notifications and what a blissfully ignorant existence I have

Another gutsy performance, right @czach1r.bsky.social?

A Soft-Tossing Veteran Reliever Hit Free Agency, and Jed Hoyer Couldn't Help Himself! https://www.bleachernation.com/cubs/2026/05/27/aaron-bummer-cubs/

So did that dude fight bleacher jeff

They're ass!

They really have nailed the transition your old phone to your new phone thing. Used to be such a headache

I think that every pitcher should crotch crop anytime they strike out a Cardinals player. for as much as the brewers have bothered me the past decade id rather they win the world series 10 times before the cardinals win another one

Happy new phone day to me

I believe in y’all. You are just one article away from the convincing people that economic collapses aren’t common even though they’ve experienced multiple. That quality has gone down and prices has gone up isn’t happening. That layoffs aren’t common. You can write your way around reality

How it feels to post on Bluesky

At least the Cubs have the worst pitcher in the league going tonight and face the best one tomorrow. They're not winning two in a row until the weekend minimum

I'm a ball knower

Happ is shit.

Like this happens every May. Someone has to pay for this!

Fire literally everyone

It's on the players for playing like hot ass and it's on the front office for building a team that wants to walk and do nothing else.

Everywhere?

I will not watch the Cubs again until they've won two games constructively

Journalism could be vastly improved if interviewers just kept asking the same question over and over until they got an answer from the interviewee

truly the best show

The Cubs are embarrassing and Jed Hoyer should be fired

Fuck the Cubs. Fire everyone

It's over

No the absolute fuck it's not

Glad to see Happ back in the two spot, the spot where it's almost universally agreed upon is where you put your best hitter? Oh what's that? He's been almost impossibly ass? Huh. That's weird.

Shouts to the best ice cream I've ever had

bethesda game zooming in to begin a conversation

Fuck the Cubs

Illinois outside of Chicago is very weird about Chicago

I have recreated the fun 2015-level Twitter experience here with most of the same friends and shitposting. I don’t care about engagement numbers and it’s great not having ads every 4th post. The only slight ding to Bluesky for me is it’s not quite as good at searching for live events

That's right, it's Ryan Key of Yellowcard